gcvmom
Here we go again!
A couple of you have asked for this... hope it helps:
In his book, Survival Strategies for Parenting Children with Bipolar Disorder (2000), author George T. Lynn describes nine techniques that can be helpful to parents/caregivers in managing the rages experienced by their child. Some of the techniques can also be helpful to help the child learn to recognize when the rages begin and deescalate before they become full-blown. Some of the techniques are described briefly below. For full descriptions of all nine strategies, please refer to Mr. Lynn's excellent book (pages 62-72) as a reference.
I. Reduce Stress and Redirect the Limbic Energy
This technique provides the child time to deescalate from the excitation and helps meet the need for stimulation in a positive, non-destructive way. This technique should be applied early in the buildup of excitement.
a. Separate the child from stressful social situations " suggest other activities, if possible negotiate a resolution to the issue, disruption of the event can precipitate a change in mood.
b. Distract the child toward a positive, enjoyable pastime involving exercise " exercise is one important way to discharge stress that can contribute to rage; exercise calms us down and up-regulates adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin in the brain helping to create a calm focused awareness.
c. Invite the child to have something to eat " food may calm the mood; offer good balance of protein and carbohydrates; make sure the child is drinking 8 glasses of water a day; research shows that water is essential to the body's ability to eliminate build-ups of toxins associated with depression; avoid sugar and caffeine which can contribute to depression and rage
d. Call the game " if the child seems to be trying to ‘pick a fight', confront them; say ‘I have a feeling that you are trying to get a rise out of me for the fun of it, but I don't want to play that game. Can we come up with what would be more interesting for both of us?' The child may be looking for a way to dispel negative energy: help them find it.
II. Have a Battle Plan
The battle plan should specify:
a. Which of the parents is in charge of the situation
b. Protection of non-combatants (siblings)
c. If physical restraint is to be applied, when and how will it be used
d. The circumstances that will result in a call to 911
Parents/caregivers must know when to insist that their child comply with a demand and when to back off. Everyone (parent/caregiver and the child) must know that the parent/caregiver is in charge of the situation " not the child.
III. Keep Communications Clear, Positive and Short
a. Use language that describes a positive outcome and does not contain prohibition on behavior. DO NOT say ‘pay attention!' Instead, say ‘I'll start again when you let me know that you want to talk and listen.'
b. Use ‘reminder' language to help the child become aware of what he is doing. Say ‘When you show me that you are with me by no longer swearing at me, but are talking politely, we can continue.'
c. Use short words and short sentences. Rage shuts down the thinking processes and complex verbal messages will not be understood.
IV. Keep Your Cool to Prevent Mood Contagion (don't make it worse)
V. If you begin to lose control, call for back-up from supportive adults; your doctor, the police, etc.
VI. Use the exhaustion phase as an opportunity for healing.
The other three techniques recommended by Mr. Lynn are:
· Using the Tension Feedback Scale
· Teach the child the Six-Step Rage Freeze
· Use of the RBG Method (refuge, breathe, ground)
These techniques require more explanation and instruction than those paraphrased here. For explanation and specific instruction, please refer to Mr. Lynn's survival guide.
George T. Lynn, Survival Strategies for Parenting Children with Bipolar Disorder, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, Ltd., 2000
