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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 419436" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Ummmm. Hmmmm.</p><p></p><p>easy child is 21 and living in your home. Your house, your rules. </p><p></p><p>No, you really can't stop her from seeing him, but you can do quite a bit to discourage it, if you want to. You could limit/not allow Casper contact in your home. Of course, that could make it worse, but even if it does it would spare you some of the drama. I did that with Nichole's boyfriend for oh about 6 mos or more simply because I was sick of dealing with the drama and she couldn't come to her senses.........and I was showing her that in no uncertain terms I disagreed with his disrespect and mistreatment of her. It didn't stop her from seeing him........but over time it did cause her to view their relationship differently. Once I allowed him back into my home (under the condition he treat her with respect at all times) his behavior was totally different and the drama was gone. (at least in front of me lol ) This was nice because it showed her he was capable of different behavior when he wanted to do it. That? Changed her whole attitude toward the way they interacted with each other.....and then she really started working on herself and him too as far as what she expected of him. </p><p></p><p>I did it because I was sick to death of the in your face drama of their relationship.........and because I realized that allowing him to treat her that way in my home was sending her the wrong message, and him as well. It had some nice after effects. lol</p><p></p><p>They are doing much much better, but there are still issues. The other day boyfriend yelled at Aubrey for crossing an empty street and forgetting to look both ways. Then Nichole heard him smart off to her that Oh, that's right, the replacement child will be here in august. OMG Nichole went OFF (personally I'd have decked him) demanded he not only apologize to Aubrey but also ask her to forgive him for saying such an ugly thing.........and now 3 days later is barely speaking to him. Turns out his parents used to say that to him and his brother all the time. ugh He had meant it to be funny......it totally backfired on him in a huge way. I understand where he's coming from on this one.......my mom used to do that all the time....I flat out would never say the same hurtful things to my kids and had to threaten her to prevent her from doing so. </p><p></p><p>First loves are very hard to move beyond. It took easy child 3 yrs to do so. Nichole still hasn't managed it........and who knows if they'll make it. </p><p></p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 419436, member: 84"] Ummmm. Hmmmm. easy child is 21 and living in your home. Your house, your rules. No, you really can't stop her from seeing him, but you can do quite a bit to discourage it, if you want to. You could limit/not allow Casper contact in your home. Of course, that could make it worse, but even if it does it would spare you some of the drama. I did that with Nichole's boyfriend for oh about 6 mos or more simply because I was sick of dealing with the drama and she couldn't come to her senses.........and I was showing her that in no uncertain terms I disagreed with his disrespect and mistreatment of her. It didn't stop her from seeing him........but over time it did cause her to view their relationship differently. Once I allowed him back into my home (under the condition he treat her with respect at all times) his behavior was totally different and the drama was gone. (at least in front of me lol ) This was nice because it showed her he was capable of different behavior when he wanted to do it. That? Changed her whole attitude toward the way they interacted with each other.....and then she really started working on herself and him too as far as what she expected of him. I did it because I was sick to death of the in your face drama of their relationship.........and because I realized that allowing him to treat her that way in my home was sending her the wrong message, and him as well. It had some nice after effects. lol They are doing much much better, but there are still issues. The other day boyfriend yelled at Aubrey for crossing an empty street and forgetting to look both ways. Then Nichole heard him smart off to her that Oh, that's right, the replacement child will be here in august. OMG Nichole went OFF (personally I'd have decked him) demanded he not only apologize to Aubrey but also ask her to forgive him for saying such an ugly thing.........and now 3 days later is barely speaking to him. Turns out his parents used to say that to him and his brother all the time. ugh He had meant it to be funny......it totally backfired on him in a huge way. I understand where he's coming from on this one.......my mom used to do that all the time....I flat out would never say the same hurtful things to my kids and had to threaten her to prevent her from doing so. First loves are very hard to move beyond. It took easy child 3 yrs to do so. Nichole still hasn't managed it........and who knows if they'll make it. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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