Please, I am still learning and adapting. Only been to one AL-ANON meeting, but have an appointment with our sons doctor and a counselor and I will ask lots of questions then, but we were wondering, is it ok or NOT ok to talk over phone with our son or send a text? Our soon to be 20 year old was asked to leave for his addiction to weed and pills. He called on e day to ask if he could get his bike, and we let him. but it was outside and we didn't have to interact with him. He quietly got it and left. Is it wrong to send him pieces of encouragement by text? Or is more effective to have NOTHING to do with him, including calls, letters, or texts. I want to do what we are suppose to do...and what most effective for him. Our son, his grandma points out to us all the time, that he isn't just a drug addict, he has had a host of issues from the time he was very young...ADHD, ODD, social anxiety, post tramatic syndrome...his grandma explains that yes, it was his choice to start smoking and popping pills, but she says he needs it so he doesn't deal with his issues. I say a drug addict is still a drug addict and that we all have issues. If I started doing drugs just because my husband and I struggle with bills, or because I have osteoarthritis and need more surgeries, or because I take care of his stroke stricken grandpa or my good friend just passed away...just to name a few, I would have been an addict a long time ago! I tell her he has to make up his mind, GET HELP! My mother in law feels sorry for him and thinks he can not help it...I hate when she tells me this stuff, then I feel like I may be leading him to HARDER drugs and over the edge. Also...my husband and I forgot that our son still has his phone service that we pay for. He said that he is going to text him to let him know that he will have to be paying for it himself but will give him a heads up first...then we will have no-line of communicating with him...is this what we should do also? I know a lot of you been through this, that's why I value your opinion. Gob Bless.