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Substance Abuse
Need advice......have a question about when your child was asked to leave.
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 602919" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Hi Rose...</p><p></p><p>I have definitely been there done that and am still doing it three years later!! So the best advice I got when we kicked our son out was from my therapist. My first reaction was to just cut him off until he called us..... and she told me no keep in touch with him, let him know you love him. Dont let him come home but let him know you care about him.</p><p>It took 2 weeks for him to call us but when he got arrested he called us!!! </p><p></p><p>It is now 3 years later and we have been on a crazy long journey roller coaster ride which you will find in various places on this board...and my son is still struggling and he is definitely not living at home nor will he.</p><p></p><p>But I am convinced that one thing that has both kept him alive and kept him from becoming a hardened criminal is him knowing we love him. And we have always been there and supported him when he was ready for help.</p><p></p><p>That is our line... we will support him when he is doing the next right thing ro getting help, and we will not help him at all financially when he is using but we will still love him.</p><p></p><p>So last week when he was seriously suicidal he called us and we ended up taking him to a psychiatric unit where he still is.... and we are visiting him almost every day.</p><p></p><p>We have let my son be homeless and literally let him live on the streets but always we let him know we love him and we have supported him going into treatment.</p><p></p><p>So yes detachment does mean thinking about what feels right to you... noone else can really answer that question for you. For me that has meant at times that I have gotten my son clothes or shoes or food and always helped him find treatment. It also means he absolutely cannot live with us, both for my daughters sake but also our sake.</p><p></p><p>One thing that helps me on this at times horrible journey is that I have done every thing I can to let my son know he is loved and to help him.</p><p>The rest is really up to him.... </p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 602919, member: 15801"] Hi Rose... I have definitely been there done that and am still doing it three years later!! So the best advice I got when we kicked our son out was from my therapist. My first reaction was to just cut him off until he called us..... and she told me no keep in touch with him, let him know you love him. Dont let him come home but let him know you care about him. It took 2 weeks for him to call us but when he got arrested he called us!!! It is now 3 years later and we have been on a crazy long journey roller coaster ride which you will find in various places on this board...and my son is still struggling and he is definitely not living at home nor will he. But I am convinced that one thing that has both kept him alive and kept him from becoming a hardened criminal is him knowing we love him. And we have always been there and supported him when he was ready for help. That is our line... we will support him when he is doing the next right thing ro getting help, and we will not help him at all financially when he is using but we will still love him. So last week when he was seriously suicidal he called us and we ended up taking him to a psychiatric unit where he still is.... and we are visiting him almost every day. We have let my son be homeless and literally let him live on the streets but always we let him know we love him and we have supported him going into treatment. So yes detachment does mean thinking about what feels right to you... noone else can really answer that question for you. For me that has meant at times that I have gotten my son clothes or shoes or food and always helped him find treatment. It also means he absolutely cannot live with us, both for my daughters sake but also our sake. One thing that helps me on this at times horrible journey is that I have done every thing I can to let my son know he is loved and to help him. The rest is really up to him.... TL [/QUOTE]
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Need advice......have a question about when your child was asked to leave.
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