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need advice regarding 18yr old
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<blockquote data-quote="flnurse1976" data-source="post: 621859" data-attributes="member: 17749"><p>Thanks for the response and advise. I have read all sorts of posts all night and all day, read the article on detachment and just been reading on the internet all kinds of other advise seeking posts.</p><p></p><p>I will look into al-onon. I am not even going to try to reason with my 18yr old because I know I will just start yelling and make things worse and she will use that as an excuse to walk out the door. However I (my husband really)is still trying to reason with my mom because she is a reasonable person, just can not say no to her grandchild, feeling bad for her.</p><p></p><p>As of last night my husband picked GFG18 up from work and since then grandma kept trying to go in her room and shut the door and every time she did that my husband said "(insert name), please come out here" and she did and that had to happen a few times. This morning husband gets up to take GFG18 to school and already grandma comes out of room to make her a sandwich and wanted to deliver it to her room and soon as he seen her he said politely, "(insert name), its handled go back to your room please" and she did. Told my mom I went in her account and switched GFG18's phone to off and that I also need to call cable company to change the Wi-Fi password. Even tho I disconnect phone she can still connect to a Wi-fi. I was worried my mom would just give her the password so she said go ahead and change it and just not give it to her so that way she cant tell GFG18 since she doesnt know it. I also told her I guess I will have to check daily with hone service to make sure my GFG18 is not pressuring you to turn it on. GG18 pressured her all night to turn it back on till grandma had a breakdown crying.</p><p></p><p>I still feel if I can just keep my mom distant from my GFG18 for the time being my GFG18 will start listening. She seems to cooperate with my husband and I if we are up her butt checking ALL day. Grandma does say I am sorry i just dont have the heart to say no even though it is wrong. Maybe I am wrong?</p><p></p><p>I am just hoping GFG18 will at least graduate in June. That is my main goal for right now. I am trying to find some information for my mom to read the past two days to make her understand that my difficult child should suffer consequences for her actions in school since my mom thinks she should still have her phone on at certain times and be allowed to go out on weekends. My mom wants to compromise with an 18 year old her punishment and by the way that has not worked in the past. </p><p></p><p>So any material you think my mom should read?</p><p></p><p>Come the end of May when she should graduate I am done. I have been an LPN for many years and graduated RN school and fixing to take my state exam by the end of the month. Hopefully I can continue to focus on studying right now! </p><p></p><p>Thanks for reading again.Feels better to vent and sorry if my 3rd post seems redundant.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flnurse1976, post: 621859, member: 17749"] Thanks for the response and advise. I have read all sorts of posts all night and all day, read the article on detachment and just been reading on the internet all kinds of other advise seeking posts. I will look into al-onon. I am not even going to try to reason with my 18yr old because I know I will just start yelling and make things worse and she will use that as an excuse to walk out the door. However I (my husband really)is still trying to reason with my mom because she is a reasonable person, just can not say no to her grandchild, feeling bad for her. As of last night my husband picked GFG18 up from work and since then grandma kept trying to go in her room and shut the door and every time she did that my husband said "(insert name), please come out here" and she did and that had to happen a few times. This morning husband gets up to take GFG18 to school and already grandma comes out of room to make her a sandwich and wanted to deliver it to her room and soon as he seen her he said politely, "(insert name), its handled go back to your room please" and she did. Told my mom I went in her account and switched GFG18's phone to off and that I also need to call cable company to change the Wi-Fi password. Even tho I disconnect phone she can still connect to a Wi-fi. I was worried my mom would just give her the password so she said go ahead and change it and just not give it to her so that way she cant tell GFG18 since she doesnt know it. I also told her I guess I will have to check daily with hone service to make sure my GFG18 is not pressuring you to turn it on. GG18 pressured her all night to turn it back on till grandma had a breakdown crying. I still feel if I can just keep my mom distant from my GFG18 for the time being my GFG18 will start listening. She seems to cooperate with my husband and I if we are up her butt checking ALL day. Grandma does say I am sorry i just dont have the heart to say no even though it is wrong. Maybe I am wrong? I am just hoping GFG18 will at least graduate in June. That is my main goal for right now. I am trying to find some information for my mom to read the past two days to make her understand that my difficult child should suffer consequences for her actions in school since my mom thinks she should still have her phone on at certain times and be allowed to go out on weekends. My mom wants to compromise with an 18 year old her punishment and by the way that has not worked in the past. So any material you think my mom should read? Come the end of May when she should graduate I am done. I have been an LPN for many years and graduated RN school and fixing to take my state exam by the end of the month. Hopefully I can continue to focus on studying right now! Thanks for reading again.Feels better to vent and sorry if my 3rd post seems redundant. [/QUOTE]
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