Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
need any info
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Mayapple5" data-source="post: 312477" data-attributes="member: 6223"><p>I am currently reading a book called "Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control" (A very good book for parents of difficult child kids) It has a very good chapter on self-injury. It makes total and complete sense out of why these kids hurt themselves. I have a 17 year old granddaughter who has been slashing for several years now, and after reading this book and especially this chapter I can understand why she has done this. Unfortunately I am not in a position to help her. </p><p> </p><p>The premise is they are acting out of fear. They have no one to turn to for love. And by slashing they are releasing the pain, they watch the pain run out. By taking away the instrument they use it is like taking away a smokers cigarettes, he won't stop, he'll go out and buy more. There will always be away they can do it. There is love missing, a secure attachment, relationships with primary people in their lives. This is an emotionally driven behavior and has a physiological payoff. The book suggests you trust your calm and loving presence, attention, understanding, and connection is what they need to shift out of this behavior. Not a lot of therapists telling them what they should do, but a loving member/preferrably a parent, supporting them and getting in touch with their own feelings and getting down to the level where the "child" is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mayapple5, post: 312477, member: 6223"] I am currently reading a book called "Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control" (A very good book for parents of difficult child kids) It has a very good chapter on self-injury. It makes total and complete sense out of why these kids hurt themselves. I have a 17 year old granddaughter who has been slashing for several years now, and after reading this book and especially this chapter I can understand why she has done this. Unfortunately I am not in a position to help her. The premise is they are acting out of fear. They have no one to turn to for love. And by slashing they are releasing the pain, they watch the pain run out. By taking away the instrument they use it is like taking away a smokers cigarettes, he won't stop, he'll go out and buy more. There will always be away they can do it. There is love missing, a secure attachment, relationships with primary people in their lives. This is an emotionally driven behavior and has a physiological payoff. The book suggests you trust your calm and loving presence, attention, understanding, and connection is what they need to shift out of this behavior. Not a lot of therapists telling them what they should do, but a loving member/preferrably a parent, supporting them and getting in touch with their own feelings and getting down to the level where the "child" is. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
need any info
Top