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<blockquote data-quote="ShakinThingzUp" data-source="post: 90742" data-attributes="member: 4250"><p>From one step mom to another....</p><p></p><p>First - everyone above is right - you need a professional to help you decipher what might be causing his misdeeds... could be a lot of things.</p><p></p><p>Secondly - Since I know from firsthand tough experience what broken homes can do to kids - especially if it happens when they are YOUNG and if the parent they are left with at a young age does not have good parenting skills, I'm going to ask you to check into something.</p><p></p><p>1 - Did the child have any of these happen to him prior to the age of THREE?</p><p></p><p>*Sudden separation from primary caregiver (illness, hospitalization, death, separation/divorce)</p><p>Frequent moves or placements</p><p>Traumatic prenatal experience (en-utero) or Birth Trauma</p><p>Neglect</p><p>Inconsistent or Inadequate day care</p><p>Unprepared Mother with Poor parenting skills</p><p>Maternal ambivalence toward pregnancy</p><p></p><p>If the answer is yes to any of those above - type in a search for "Reactive Attachment Disorder" and read about the signs and symptoms - if after reading those it seems to sound familiar discuss it with a professional who is familiar with the disorder.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Why am I telling you this?</p><p>Because I'm a step-mother of a child who we gained custody of at 9 years old. I'd never heard of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). I believed my step-daughter had been neglected, but loved and otherwise treated ok. The basis for our custody case was the neglect.</p><p>She was a pretty good kid who seemed to need more attention than she was getting when I got her.... or so I thought.</p><p></p><p>After we gained custody - she stole, she threw fits and rages, she did a multitude of things that were sneaky ----- it would be too much to type here. She primarily stole FROM ME - her NEW MOM, because I was the one trying to love and attach to her and she was lashing out against that.</p><p></p><p>In trying to figure out what was wrong with her, I learned she had endured much, much more than I had dreamed....</p><p></p><p>God Bless!</p><p>Amy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ShakinThingzUp, post: 90742, member: 4250"] From one step mom to another.... First - everyone above is right - you need a professional to help you decipher what might be causing his misdeeds... could be a lot of things. Secondly - Since I know from firsthand tough experience what broken homes can do to kids - especially if it happens when they are YOUNG and if the parent they are left with at a young age does not have good parenting skills, I'm going to ask you to check into something. 1 - Did the child have any of these happen to him prior to the age of THREE? *Sudden separation from primary caregiver (illness, hospitalization, death, separation/divorce) Frequent moves or placements Traumatic prenatal experience (en-utero) or Birth Trauma Neglect Inconsistent or Inadequate day care Unprepared Mother with Poor parenting skills Maternal ambivalence toward pregnancy If the answer is yes to any of those above - type in a search for "Reactive Attachment Disorder" and read about the signs and symptoms - if after reading those it seems to sound familiar discuss it with a professional who is familiar with the disorder. Why am I telling you this? Because I'm a step-mother of a child who we gained custody of at 9 years old. I'd never heard of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). I believed my step-daughter had been neglected, but loved and otherwise treated ok. The basis for our custody case was the neglect. She was a pretty good kid who seemed to need more attention than she was getting when I got her.... or so I thought. After we gained custody - she stole, she threw fits and rages, she did a multitude of things that were sneaky ----- it would be too much to type here. She primarily stole FROM ME - her NEW MOM, because I was the one trying to love and attach to her and she was lashing out against that. In trying to figure out what was wrong with her, I learned she had endured much, much more than I had dreamed.... God Bless! Amy [/QUOTE]
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