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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 91632" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Stepmom47</p><p></p><p>Ah the younger days of trying anything anyone suggested. My entire house has locks on the doors. Office, bedrooms, laundry room, and the cabinet where I keep the medications, the cleaning supplies, the garage and the shed. </p><p></p><p>difficult child got a ladder, took his school ID and slid the lock open on my bedroom window, climbed in and took his dad's underpants. </p><p></p><p>difficult child got a flat bar by breaking into the window of his dads garage to get the flat bar so he could pry the lock off my shed to get to my pool cleaning chemicals, removed the cover a month early, got the sump pump, my new mud boots (2 pr.) of course one for him and one for the thug he was with, and left all of it for us to clean up because the bleach /clorine smelled strong. </p><p></p><p>He waited until it was cooler and I had left the windows open to get into my office to get my Walkman, head set and batteries. Snooped through my jewelry box and took a platinum and diamond ring for his little girlfriend. (I'm supposed to tell you here that at least he had good taste). I found the ring in his closet in a box he also took from my jewelry box. </p><p></p><p>He's taken most of his dads craftsman, snap on, and matco tools and loaned them to kids who didn't have any (of course I'll give you back this $80.00 wrench) </p><p></p><p>He used all of my household cleaners to clean his tennis shoes. And then got into the bug spray and laid in bed one night and shot it at flies on the ceiling not caring that the poison could have blinded him and discolored the walls. </p><p></p><p>He used my washcloths for cleaning his shoes, his bike that he brought in the house after we all went to bed, and to lay on top his head when sweating to throw away as he saw fit. </p><p></p><p>I could go on and on and on.....and I will tell you that locking every thing up DOES help, but it doesn't mean the policing is over, it just means it will take him longer to figure out how to get what he wants. My difficult child flat out told us that he waited for that 10 second window we stepped in the bathroom and forgot to lock the bedroom door behind us to snoop and steal. For him it was the adrenaline NOT the actual theft. </p><p></p><p>Eventually he worked his way up in stealing to being the lookout man for 2 other boys who had already been in trouble for stealing. He could have gotten life in prison at 16. And yes, I did the cop come and get my kid, scare the bejuzesus out of him, I did the tour of prison tough love field trip. These kids have a problem with authority, so despite what WE think would scare them straight - in my humble opinion and 11 years of history - it doesn't work. </p><p>If they were normal thinking to begin with - simple punitive punishments would work. </p><p></p><p>Currently the only thing that keeps my difficult child on this side and I mean BY A HAIR - is his probation officer and the fact that he was locked up in Department of Juvenile Justice for 120+days if he messes up he gets 6 years in ADULT jail. You would think that being locked up, being told when to eat, wearing others undergarments would make you think twice - but alas the day he got out of Department of Juvenile Justice three hours later he was the same defiant, in your face, argumentative, sneaky, thief. </p><p></p><p>If there is an answer out there - to make them change, I belive it's continued therapy with a good therapist and consistant counseling for YOU (the parent) because you are going to be doing battle for life - this doesn't go away, wear off with years or consequences. Consequences as you see do very little, but are important because it lets the child know that you DO mean what you say. </p><p></p><p>Seriously, find a good family therapist to work with. NO..not because I think your family is (whatever) but because you are going to need SUPPORT and a different set of rules to play by with this kid. Tough love is the beginning. Therapy helped us keep our sanity and our lives. </p><p></p><p>Welcome to the board....post often, it's a great place. </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 91632, member: 4964"] Stepmom47 Ah the younger days of trying anything anyone suggested. My entire house has locks on the doors. Office, bedrooms, laundry room, and the cabinet where I keep the medications, the cleaning supplies, the garage and the shed. difficult child got a ladder, took his school ID and slid the lock open on my bedroom window, climbed in and took his dad's underpants. difficult child got a flat bar by breaking into the window of his dads garage to get the flat bar so he could pry the lock off my shed to get to my pool cleaning chemicals, removed the cover a month early, got the sump pump, my new mud boots (2 pr.) of course one for him and one for the thug he was with, and left all of it for us to clean up because the bleach /clorine smelled strong. He waited until it was cooler and I had left the windows open to get into my office to get my Walkman, head set and batteries. Snooped through my jewelry box and took a platinum and diamond ring for his little girlfriend. (I'm supposed to tell you here that at least he had good taste). I found the ring in his closet in a box he also took from my jewelry box. He's taken most of his dads craftsman, snap on, and matco tools and loaned them to kids who didn't have any (of course I'll give you back this $80.00 wrench) He used all of my household cleaners to clean his tennis shoes. And then got into the bug spray and laid in bed one night and shot it at flies on the ceiling not caring that the poison could have blinded him and discolored the walls. He used my washcloths for cleaning his shoes, his bike that he brought in the house after we all went to bed, and to lay on top his head when sweating to throw away as he saw fit. I could go on and on and on.....and I will tell you that locking every thing up DOES help, but it doesn't mean the policing is over, it just means it will take him longer to figure out how to get what he wants. My difficult child flat out told us that he waited for that 10 second window we stepped in the bathroom and forgot to lock the bedroom door behind us to snoop and steal. For him it was the adrenaline NOT the actual theft. Eventually he worked his way up in stealing to being the lookout man for 2 other boys who had already been in trouble for stealing. He could have gotten life in prison at 16. And yes, I did the cop come and get my kid, scare the bejuzesus out of him, I did the tour of prison tough love field trip. These kids have a problem with authority, so despite what WE think would scare them straight - in my humble opinion and 11 years of history - it doesn't work. If they were normal thinking to begin with - simple punitive punishments would work. Currently the only thing that keeps my difficult child on this side and I mean BY A HAIR - is his probation officer and the fact that he was locked up in Department of Juvenile Justice for 120+days if he messes up he gets 6 years in ADULT jail. You would think that being locked up, being told when to eat, wearing others undergarments would make you think twice - but alas the day he got out of Department of Juvenile Justice three hours later he was the same defiant, in your face, argumentative, sneaky, thief. If there is an answer out there - to make them change, I belive it's continued therapy with a good therapist and consistant counseling for YOU (the parent) because you are going to be doing battle for life - this doesn't go away, wear off with years or consequences. Consequences as you see do very little, but are important because it lets the child know that you DO mean what you say. Seriously, find a good family therapist to work with. NO..not because I think your family is (whatever) but because you are going to need SUPPORT and a different set of rules to play by with this kid. Tough love is the beginning. Therapy helped us keep our sanity and our lives. Welcome to the board....post often, it's a great place. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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