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General Parenting
Need help (behavior issue in 13 y.o.)
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<blockquote data-quote="Christy" data-source="post: 326679" data-attributes="member: 225"><p>Try having a conversation with your son before going to the store. Set a price limit or decide that you will only purchase something for him once a week. Offer a reward at home, like a special dinner or an extra hour of tv/computer time if he handles going to the store without an issue. Just because you have bought him something on past visits to the store does not mean you are locked into doing it all the time. Just explain to him ahead of time that a change is necessary. Give him a chance to process this new info and get over the anger, then remind him again before going to the store.</p><p></p><p>It's hard to be all alone when dealing with a difficult child but he's controlling you because you are afraid of his reaction to being told no. I understand why you are fearful and you will need to seek out community support like the police if he becomes violent but you can't let this continue without laying down rules/guidelines that you are comfortable with. Contacting local agencies such as the Mental Health Association can get you in touch with local programs that may be able to work with you and your son. </p><p></p><p>My son has been both confrontational and violent when he doesn't get his way but I don't give in to him. He has to know who is in charge. This has caused a few embarrassing scenes in stores. Once, when he was five years old, he gave me a black eye with an intentional head butt because I wouldn't buy him a toy at a book store. I have escorted him kicking and screaming out of the store on more than one occasion and I've had to call the police a few times. This isn't pleasant and I didn't want to do it but I've gotten the point across to him that he can't bully me. He is now much better at going to the store and handling the word no. </p><p></p><p>Good luck,</p><p>Christy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Christy, post: 326679, member: 225"] Try having a conversation with your son before going to the store. Set a price limit or decide that you will only purchase something for him once a week. Offer a reward at home, like a special dinner or an extra hour of tv/computer time if he handles going to the store without an issue. Just because you have bought him something on past visits to the store does not mean you are locked into doing it all the time. Just explain to him ahead of time that a change is necessary. Give him a chance to process this new info and get over the anger, then remind him again before going to the store. It's hard to be all alone when dealing with a difficult child but he's controlling you because you are afraid of his reaction to being told no. I understand why you are fearful and you will need to seek out community support like the police if he becomes violent but you can't let this continue without laying down rules/guidelines that you are comfortable with. Contacting local agencies such as the Mental Health Association can get you in touch with local programs that may be able to work with you and your son. My son has been both confrontational and violent when he doesn't get his way but I don't give in to him. He has to know who is in charge. This has caused a few embarrassing scenes in stores. Once, when he was five years old, he gave me a black eye with an intentional head butt because I wouldn't buy him a toy at a book store. I have escorted him kicking and screaming out of the store on more than one occasion and I've had to call the police a few times. This isn't pleasant and I didn't want to do it but I've gotten the point across to him that he can't bully me. He is now much better at going to the store and handling the word no. Good luck, Christy [/QUOTE]
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Need help (behavior issue in 13 y.o.)
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