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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 257049"><p>in my humble opinion, you and your spouse need to get on the same page about what you will require of your stepson.</p><p> </p><p>This might mean a monthly payment toward expenses in the home, as well as some day to day maintenance/cleaning work with-i the home. I would not have him do work in the home that is clearly outside of the normal clean up duties...but it is fair to expect him to clean up after himself and to help with every day type things like vacumming or sweeping the front porch.</p><p> </p><p>I think it is fair to ask that he contribute to extra expenses now that he is there. A small payment is reasonable and in fact, is something he should be willing, able and in fact...given his age...it is unfortunate that he has not offered to do this. By both of you making this request of him, keeping it reasonable and sticking to your guns, you will go a long way to helping him in the future.</p><p> </p><p>If you and your husband can work together on this, it shouldn't be a big deal. </p><p> </p><p>Honestly, if he i(your son) s not willing to do this (unless he has something seriously wrong with his health), I would consider asking him to make alternative arrangements rather than living in your home. If this gets to be an "issue," perhaps a few sessions of family counseling or marriage counseling would be in order.</p><p> </p><p>Also, does your stepson have access to mental health services or some sort of counselor? I wouldn't spend too much energy on this...but if there is some way he can get this type of help, it might be beneficial to him. He sounds like he might be depressed. Also, I would encourage him to look diligently foranother job of any kind as soon as possible. This will likely make him feel better.</p><p> </p><p>Wishing you and your family well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 257049"] in my humble opinion, you and your spouse need to get on the same page about what you will require of your stepson. This might mean a monthly payment toward expenses in the home, as well as some day to day maintenance/cleaning work with-i the home. I would not have him do work in the home that is clearly outside of the normal clean up duties...but it is fair to expect him to clean up after himself and to help with every day type things like vacumming or sweeping the front porch. I think it is fair to ask that he contribute to extra expenses now that he is there. A small payment is reasonable and in fact, is something he should be willing, able and in fact...given his age...it is unfortunate that he has not offered to do this. By both of you making this request of him, keeping it reasonable and sticking to your guns, you will go a long way to helping him in the future. If you and your husband can work together on this, it shouldn't be a big deal. Honestly, if he i(your son) s not willing to do this (unless he has something seriously wrong with his health), I would consider asking him to make alternative arrangements rather than living in your home. If this gets to be an "issue," perhaps a few sessions of family counseling or marriage counseling would be in order. Also, does your stepson have access to mental health services or some sort of counselor? I wouldn't spend too much energy on this...but if there is some way he can get this type of help, it might be beneficial to him. He sounds like he might be depressed. Also, I would encourage him to look diligently foranother job of any kind as soon as possible. This will likely make him feel better. Wishing you and your family well. [/QUOTE]
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