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Need Help With Boundaries
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 259901" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Need help with Boundaries - with a 26 year old? </p><p></p><p>How about some flourescent marking paint, some caution tape and a few road flares? </p><p> </p><p>Your husbands guilt and his kids resentment is NO bearing on you and Manster. I think a date of move out needs to be established. = and I would think if he's ONLY paying $250 - a month? OMG - He should be able to save up for first, last, security for a place of his own. </p><p> </p><p>If he cant? Then you are going to have a permanent house guest. THAT is going to be the problem. I would have liked to have seen the rules established and understood BEFORE he moved in -but live and learn. </p><p> </p><p>Seriously - even at 26 - you need to have a family meeting and establish the RULES - the consequences and a date for him to be fully independent again. Then make a pact with your hubby that there are reminder dates for his son - 3 months to move out - 2 months to move out - 1 month to move out - 3 weeks - 2 weeks - next week - and then - gone. And make SURE you check the calendar - because you don't want to say - six months from today - and have it be Thanksgiving or close to Christmas - that WOULD make you out to be the heartless step mom. </p><p> </p><p>DF has a daughter that is 27 - if she had to move in with us tomorrow? I would move out. So my hat's off to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 259901, member: 4964"] Need help with Boundaries - with a 26 year old? How about some flourescent marking paint, some caution tape and a few road flares? Your husbands guilt and his kids resentment is NO bearing on you and Manster. I think a date of move out needs to be established. = and I would think if he's ONLY paying $250 - a month? OMG - He should be able to save up for first, last, security for a place of his own. If he cant? Then you are going to have a permanent house guest. THAT is going to be the problem. I would have liked to have seen the rules established and understood BEFORE he moved in -but live and learn. Seriously - even at 26 - you need to have a family meeting and establish the RULES - the consequences and a date for him to be fully independent again. Then make a pact with your hubby that there are reminder dates for his son - 3 months to move out - 2 months to move out - 1 month to move out - 3 weeks - 2 weeks - next week - and then - gone. And make SURE you check the calendar - because you don't want to say - six months from today - and have it be Thanksgiving or close to Christmas - that WOULD make you out to be the heartless step mom. DF has a daughter that is 27 - if she had to move in with us tomorrow? I would move out. So my hat's off to you. [/QUOTE]
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