OK, I know I see Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) under every rock, but this sure sounds very Aspie to me. Of course, it could be a number of things, but I would at least be checking out Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/Asperger's type issues - giving the possibility a closer look. The Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the extreme anxiety especially performance-based, other kids in the family being bright, curling up into a ball on the floor and self-harm stuff linking in with it all - especially with problems becoming more apparent at a time when Aspies tend to have more trouble coping. The increase in immature behaviour, not too many age-appropriate friends - red flags.
I agree with the others - arrange a talk to the parents. However, don't be too surprised if the pressure to perform is NOT coming from the parents as much as you think.
For your own thoughts on the subject, a starting point would be to have a look at the informal questionnaire on Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) found on
www.childbrain.com. It's not diagnostic, but it could give you some ideas. Normally we advise people to do the test, print the results and take them to the child's specialist, but I wouldn't do that here. You could maybe have a check for yourself, but I wouldn't pre-empt the parents' right to check this out independently. Maybe ask them a few questions for your own thoughts, or see where the discussion takes you. They may already have some concerns which have not yet gelled. If you think they are receptive you could pass the website on to them.
It's not unusual for one or more parents to be in denial; it's also not unusual for parents to have concerns and had them dispelled repeatedly, or been told that they have to wait for an assessment. It can take a long time to get solid answers - sometimes we don't get answers even when we've been searching for years.
I hope they welcome your concerns. Teachers who take their concerns to this length - I value them. I may disagree with them but I know they were motivated by concerns for my child and that is what I value. And sometimes, even if they are wrong and so are we, the joint efforts can lead to a third, more likely answer that we may never have discovered were it not for some healthy collaboration.
Good luck and thank you for caring.
Marg