difficult child has two friends H and E that come over once or twice a week after school. I limit their time until 6:00 at which time I take E home. I also like to make a meal for the boys. Last week, I had a meeting at 6:30 so told the boys that 6:00 was the absolute latest to have time to take E home and get to the meeting before it starts. (6:00 is often times 6:15 or so but if we say 6:00 than all is done and out the door by 6:30 if you know what I mean! LOL!). H decided to have E go over to his house which means his mom would have to take E home later. I asked him to call and o.k. it with his mom but he said, "Nah, It will be fine - she wouldn't mind". As I insisted he o.k. it with his mom, difficult child says, "Mom, his mom, unlike you, is willing to do these things. She will not mind taking E home." I told the boys that it is not a matter of what us moms were willing to do, but that they may not know their mom's plans and willing and able are sometimes two very different things. So, H calls his mom and I can tell by his side of the conversation that she really did not want to do this that night but gave into H as she often does. However, I don't feel it my place to interfere without her directly asking me so I let it go. It is her place to say "no" and mean it, not mine. It was however clear that difficult child was NOT invited over, just E to do some homework after dinner. (remember, I feed the boys before 6:00 but H's mom will often have supper at 6:30). H's mom texted me to say that it was not a good night for her to do this and that the boys were not happy because her taxi does not run at their whim. I called and talked to her and fill her in on what was happening on this end. Her brother was cooking a special meal and specifically asked when everyone would be home to serve it. This H did not tell me. She vented that H eats way too much junk food and after eating a full meal at my home will go home and eat another full meal at home. Keep in mind, she did not come out right and ask me not to feed the boys or her son. After the special meal, H had homework which E could do his at that time and then she would take E home but it was not the best night to do so. I told her I would do what I could. I pulled E aside and told him that H's mom was more than willing to take him home but that it was not the best night for her to do so. That it would be much easier for her if he allowed me to take him home before my meeting. E agreed - he is a good kid! - difficult child and H gave him a little bit a hard time about it but E stuck strong to do what was right and peace settled in for the night. So, last night the boys were here again and I did make supper. I decided that I would send H home at 6:00 and let E and difficult child eat before taking E home. I really don't feel that this is right either. I told the boys my dillema and H's answer was that he would just have a little bit here and then go home and eat there also! Ugh! H is also pushing his mom to let E go over to his house after their "playdate from after school to 6:00". H's mom called and asked me if that is what H wanted to do but I did not hear about it until about 5 minutes to 6:00 when H used the phone to ask his mom. He is very pushy about it but I had already told her that I think 6:00 is good. H figures that if my taxi stops at 6:00, then his mom's will run later for them if he gets E to his house! I don't know what she said to him that time but he quickly said, "O.K. maybe Thursday!" and hung up on her! H's mom like many others does not like last minute changes in plans. Sounds like he is using this time to push her buttons. She told me he will call after school and tell her to come pick him up without her knowing he was staying after. She tells him she can not leave work to get him home from school, that he will have to wait for her. So, my dilema is, what do I do about supper for difficult child and E? Do I just not feed them - E would eat at home and I would have to have our food sit while I took him home? The nights I am home from 4:00 - 6:00 are the times I actually like to make a meal but if I have to wait until I take E home to even start it, I will not be putting as much effort into the meal. We have better meals when I can have it ready before E goes home. I don't want to be rude to H and tell him he can not eat while the others do. It sounds like it will not work well to send H home before serving (is that also rude? I think so.). During the summer, I will send H home at meal times if I am making something that will not stretch but that is so very very rare - I like feeding who ever is at the house when the food is ready!