Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Need input - Not sure how to proceed....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 407554" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>While I agree that having all the moms talk this over is an excellent idea, I don't think that the other mom handled this the best she could have. You have not just started to do this, and I am SURE her son did not just start to have a second dinner. Why can she not just tell her child that since he has already eaten with your family, he can go and finish his homework, do chores, take a shower or play a game. Whatever is the norm for their home after dinner. I really cannot figure out why she had to wait to dump this in your lap and want YOU to come up with the solution for her. Not cool at all in my book.</p><p> </p><p>You are going out of your way to have her child at your home, to feed him, to supervise him, and to be his unpaid taxi driver. What is so hard about calling you to say that she appreciates you and the time you spend with the boys, but could her son come home a bit earlier, before you eat, so that they can help him handle a dietary issue? Or asking you to let her know via text or whatever if he is eating with you or waiting until he gets home? Why can she not just ask for what the child needs? If she isn't comfortable with that, why not just fix food he HATES on days when he is at your house? Everyone has a few things they do not like and it can be a way to manage this kind of thing. I know exactly what to cook to get any member of my family to skip a meal or entree, and they all know what to cook to make me say "no thanks" (tuna casserole, liver, lima beans, fried bologna, any bologna, husband's super hot chili). </p><p> </p><p>As for the other kid coming over, that is a tough situation because the boys are putting you on the spot. That is an area I would figure out how I wanted to handle it and then it would be that way unless a parent asked you to do something different. Last minute changes can be a problem for everyone, esp at mealtimes/homework time/bedtime. The boys would all be told that at X time we are leaving, we are not calling other moms to see if someone can come over, and this is not up for discussion. Changes in plans must be made at least a day ahead -<strong>by the parents</strong>. You may even want to let the other moms know that plans need to be made the day before the boys come over (be sure to set a time that they must call before, like 9 or whatever will give you some wind-down time before bedtime). Let the parents know that of course you can and will be flexible if an emergency comes up or there is another problem, but unless plans are made in advance the boys cannot stay later or go to any home but their own. </p><p> </p><p>Lisa - I am completely with you on the asking with the other kid right there so mom feels pressured. Dirty pool, in my opinion. I would enforce the rule that the least wanted option would be chosen if a guest or other child was present when permission was asked. They also get extra chores for trying such a rotten stunt and being manipulative (I vastly prefer making the kids do chores instead of grounding them - it reduces the number of chores that I have to do, lol! Might as well get some benefit out of someone trying to manipulate me, Know what I mean??).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 407554, member: 1233"] While I agree that having all the moms talk this over is an excellent idea, I don't think that the other mom handled this the best she could have. You have not just started to do this, and I am SURE her son did not just start to have a second dinner. Why can she not just tell her child that since he has already eaten with your family, he can go and finish his homework, do chores, take a shower or play a game. Whatever is the norm for their home after dinner. I really cannot figure out why she had to wait to dump this in your lap and want YOU to come up with the solution for her. Not cool at all in my book. You are going out of your way to have her child at your home, to feed him, to supervise him, and to be his unpaid taxi driver. What is so hard about calling you to say that she appreciates you and the time you spend with the boys, but could her son come home a bit earlier, before you eat, so that they can help him handle a dietary issue? Or asking you to let her know via text or whatever if he is eating with you or waiting until he gets home? Why can she not just ask for what the child needs? If she isn't comfortable with that, why not just fix food he HATES on days when he is at your house? Everyone has a few things they do not like and it can be a way to manage this kind of thing. I know exactly what to cook to get any member of my family to skip a meal or entree, and they all know what to cook to make me say "no thanks" (tuna casserole, liver, lima beans, fried bologna, any bologna, husband's super hot chili). As for the other kid coming over, that is a tough situation because the boys are putting you on the spot. That is an area I would figure out how I wanted to handle it and then it would be that way unless a parent asked you to do something different. Last minute changes can be a problem for everyone, esp at mealtimes/homework time/bedtime. The boys would all be told that at X time we are leaving, we are not calling other moms to see if someone can come over, and this is not up for discussion. Changes in plans must be made at least a day ahead -[B]by the parents[/B]. You may even want to let the other moms know that plans need to be made the day before the boys come over (be sure to set a time that they must call before, like 9 or whatever will give you some wind-down time before bedtime). Let the parents know that of course you can and will be flexible if an emergency comes up or there is another problem, but unless plans are made in advance the boys cannot stay later or go to any home but their own. Lisa - I am completely with you on the asking with the other kid right there so mom feels pressured. Dirty pool, in my opinion. I would enforce the rule that the least wanted option would be chosen if a guest or other child was present when permission was asked. They also get extra chores for trying such a rotten stunt and being manipulative (I vastly prefer making the kids do chores instead of grounding them - it reduces the number of chores that I have to do, lol! Might as well get some benefit out of someone trying to manipulate me, Know what I mean??). [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Need input - Not sure how to proceed....
Top