Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Need input on excessive rudeness from 17/yo
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="1 Day At a Time" data-source="post: 91100" data-attributes="member: 3704"><p>Weeping Willow,</p><p></p><p>Interestingly , this rudeness issue has manifested itself much more with our easy child than with our difficult child. But then I believe that easy child has more than a touch of ADHD and difficult child has absolutely none.</p><p></p><p>I think that Marg is absolutely spot on when she mentions that this rudeness is an important issue that can impact relationships with future prosective wives. I have seen it manifested in easy child's relationships with his girlfriends. His last two girlfriends have been so dear to him, and when he broke up with one two years ago it almost did him in. I am convinced that she really loved him but she just could not tolerate his rude treatment of her. I think two issues are working with him. First of all, he just blurts out whatever he is thinking without any censoring. If he thinks something or someone is silly or stupid the words just blurt out of his mouth. For many, many years I spent time with him talking about "inside" thoughts and "outside" thoughts. We all have those negative thoughts, but most of the time we choose to keep them to ourselves. He has a long way to go with this concept. His self control is developing , but slowly.</p><p></p><p>The second issue does involve husband. He never blurts out comments, but he doesn't hold back on his opinions, ever. He and I have had to have numerous private conversations about the fact that his sons imitate his every move - for better or for worse. Whenever he starts into a negative comment - particularly about a female or females in general - we go for our private conversation. husband's family was very low on the "niceities". They were mean and short to each other and mean and short with others. husband has a long way to go in this area (he really is trying) and unfortunately easy child has really picked it up as well. The bottom line is, I always have my private conversations - both with husband and easy child. Those comments never just slip by.I think that I would be doing them a disservice if I just let them go by.</p><p></p><p>I truly believe that depression can fuel those negative statements. People who are happy with themselves are usually happy with others and can see the good in life. Whenever I see easy child starting to take that overly negative approach to things I assume that he has some depression going on. In the past I have suggested that he set up some therapy appointments with a therapist he has seen over the years. Sometimes he does, and things improve. He refuses to take medication, but personally, I believe he would be helped by a run of an antidepressant.</p><p></p><p>I know where you are coming from. It really hurts to have your child manifest behavior that is so alien to you and all of your beliefs. I agree that he knows this and is possibly looking to get a rise out of you. But this behavior is potentially too damaging to him and his future life to be left alone.Good luck! I'm fighting the good fight with you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="1 Day At a Time, post: 91100, member: 3704"] Weeping Willow, Interestingly , this rudeness issue has manifested itself much more with our easy child than with our difficult child. But then I believe that easy child has more than a touch of ADHD and difficult child has absolutely none. I think that Marg is absolutely spot on when she mentions that this rudeness is an important issue that can impact relationships with future prosective wives. I have seen it manifested in easy child's relationships with his girlfriends. His last two girlfriends have been so dear to him, and when he broke up with one two years ago it almost did him in. I am convinced that she really loved him but she just could not tolerate his rude treatment of her. I think two issues are working with him. First of all, he just blurts out whatever he is thinking without any censoring. If he thinks something or someone is silly or stupid the words just blurt out of his mouth. For many, many years I spent time with him talking about "inside" thoughts and "outside" thoughts. We all have those negative thoughts, but most of the time we choose to keep them to ourselves. He has a long way to go with this concept. His self control is developing , but slowly. The second issue does involve husband. He never blurts out comments, but he doesn't hold back on his opinions, ever. He and I have had to have numerous private conversations about the fact that his sons imitate his every move - for better or for worse. Whenever he starts into a negative comment - particularly about a female or females in general - we go for our private conversation. husband's family was very low on the "niceities". They were mean and short to each other and mean and short with others. husband has a long way to go in this area (he really is trying) and unfortunately easy child has really picked it up as well. The bottom line is, I always have my private conversations - both with husband and easy child. Those comments never just slip by.I think that I would be doing them a disservice if I just let them go by. I truly believe that depression can fuel those negative statements. People who are happy with themselves are usually happy with others and can see the good in life. Whenever I see easy child starting to take that overly negative approach to things I assume that he has some depression going on. In the past I have suggested that he set up some therapy appointments with a therapist he has seen over the years. Sometimes he does, and things improve. He refuses to take medication, but personally, I believe he would be helped by a run of an antidepressant. I know where you are coming from. It really hurts to have your child manifest behavior that is so alien to you and all of your beliefs. I agree that he knows this and is possibly looking to get a rise out of you. But this behavior is potentially too damaging to him and his future life to be left alone.Good luck! I'm fighting the good fight with you! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Need input on excessive rudeness from 17/yo
Top