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Need input - Part 2 - now upgraded to General Board!!! UGH!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 408112" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Oh, Andy, your boy really gets it. Good for him. Tuesday will be interesting...</p><p></p><p>I also agree about sometimes choosing to be lonelier in childhood being healthier.</p><p></p><p>i had a lonely childhood. I was also at times physically beaten up by girls at my school, often in the presence of teachers who were too scared to intervene. I had to go and make a complaint - just having a teacher see it was not enough. When I complained, action was take. I then copped reprisals. I complained again. More action was taken. Eventually all my bullies were either suspended, expelled or got the message. But it left scars.</p><p></p><p>I get on well with people these days. Of course there are always a few who are a hassle, or who are nice to my face and are horrible behind my back. Or there are the occasional people who are rude to my face. But they are rare.</p><p></p><p>The funny thing these days is - I meet people, I talk to them - and part of me wonders, "Who were you as a kid? Were you the sort who would have beaten me up? Were you the one who sided with the bullies out of fear? Were you part of the gang that smoked in the toilets and verbally abused anyone who came in to use them legitimately? Or were you the girl who would have been my friend, if only we had met?"</p><p></p><p>I am more reserved these days and far less dependent on friendships to get by. I have good friends and I know they are people I would have been friends with in school. It is interesting - there are other people I am friends with, who I know I would never have trusted when we were in school. And I don't trust them now, either, to not stab me in the back if they decide it is in their interests to do so.</p><p></p><p>My experiences were harsh but I learned a lot that helps me now. I also was better placed to help my kids when this happened to them. It happens to all kids, we all cop it. It is how we learn to handle it as kids, that sets the framework for how we manage lifelong as adults.</p><p></p><p>Give difficult child a hug for me, tell him his board aunty is very proud of his strong sense of right and wrong, and his choice to not compromise. He will be able to value that later in life - he just took a very large step along the right path.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 408112, member: 1991"] Oh, Andy, your boy really gets it. Good for him. Tuesday will be interesting... I also agree about sometimes choosing to be lonelier in childhood being healthier. i had a lonely childhood. I was also at times physically beaten up by girls at my school, often in the presence of teachers who were too scared to intervene. I had to go and make a complaint - just having a teacher see it was not enough. When I complained, action was take. I then copped reprisals. I complained again. More action was taken. Eventually all my bullies were either suspended, expelled or got the message. But it left scars. I get on well with people these days. Of course there are always a few who are a hassle, or who are nice to my face and are horrible behind my back. Or there are the occasional people who are rude to my face. But they are rare. The funny thing these days is - I meet people, I talk to them - and part of me wonders, "Who were you as a kid? Were you the sort who would have beaten me up? Were you the one who sided with the bullies out of fear? Were you part of the gang that smoked in the toilets and verbally abused anyone who came in to use them legitimately? Or were you the girl who would have been my friend, if only we had met?" I am more reserved these days and far less dependent on friendships to get by. I have good friends and I know they are people I would have been friends with in school. It is interesting - there are other people I am friends with, who I know I would never have trusted when we were in school. And I don't trust them now, either, to not stab me in the back if they decide it is in their interests to do so. My experiences were harsh but I learned a lot that helps me now. I also was better placed to help my kids when this happened to them. It happens to all kids, we all cop it. It is how we learn to handle it as kids, that sets the framework for how we manage lifelong as adults. Give difficult child a hug for me, tell him his board aunty is very proud of his strong sense of right and wrong, and his choice to not compromise. He will be able to value that later in life - he just took a very large step along the right path. Marg [/QUOTE]
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