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Need Input, Please - Email from gfg32's girlfriend has me shaken
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 621494" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>SS, I am so sorry. The malice with which our kids condemn us once we stop enabling can be extraordinary. The smear campaign which your son is waging against you will ultimately die down and after you have no response to it, he will let go, but in the meantime, do your very best to ignore it and keep you and husband as far away from all of it as you can.</p><p></p><p>I was taught this simple imagery once which helped me. Imagine a golden or white shield of light surrounding you and husband...........imagine as the "arrows" of the attacking words and gestures fly at the shield they bounce off and<em> return to the sender.</em> Done. Presume it works and go about your business of living. Don't put any more energy in to it........ignore it all as best you can.</p><p></p><p>You are now seeing the truth of who your son has become. When they act in these ways they make detaching easier for us. He has become someone so obsessed with getting his infantile needs met he has lost control of his humanity..........in order for him to someday be able to climb from the depths of darkness he has surrounded himself in (or not), YOU must walk away and stay in the light of the sun, do not join him where he is by giving any credence at all to his actions. Allow him to stand alone in the dark place he has chosen. You did not choose this, he did..............</p><p></p><p>Hang in there SS, we're all here, you're not alone..........stay the course............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 621494, member: 13542"] SS, I am so sorry. The malice with which our kids condemn us once we stop enabling can be extraordinary. The smear campaign which your son is waging against you will ultimately die down and after you have no response to it, he will let go, but in the meantime, do your very best to ignore it and keep you and husband as far away from all of it as you can. I was taught this simple imagery once which helped me. Imagine a golden or white shield of light surrounding you and husband...........imagine as the "arrows" of the attacking words and gestures fly at the shield they bounce off and[I] return to the sender.[/I] Done. Presume it works and go about your business of living. Don't put any more energy in to it........ignore it all as best you can. You are now seeing the truth of who your son has become. When they act in these ways they make detaching easier for us. He has become someone so obsessed with getting his infantile needs met he has lost control of his humanity..........in order for him to someday be able to climb from the depths of darkness he has surrounded himself in (or not), YOU must walk away and stay in the light of the sun, do not join him where he is by giving any credence at all to his actions. Allow him to stand alone in the dark place he has chosen. You did not choose this, he did.............. Hang in there SS, we're all here, you're not alone..........stay the course............ [/QUOTE]
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Need Input, Please - Email from gfg32's girlfriend has me shaken
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