I haven't been here in a long time. Very busy dealing with difficult child's downward spiral, financial devastion due to the economy, trying to protect easy child and our proterty, trying to repair property, basically chaos management, etc. My question is how to stop difficult child ALWAYS reverting back to disfunctional behavior with me. We can NEVER stop this dance and move forward, if he doesn't stop reverting. Below is what's going on. difficult child is ppd-not otherwise specified, severe adhd, severe sensory integration dysfunction, dyslexic, below average but not borderline IQ, mood disorder-not otherwise specified, cognive disorder due to anoxia. Well long story short, difficult child went critical again earlier this year. (He's almost 10, but his adaptive functing is around 1/3 of this. easy child is 6.5). Violence to himself, to his little brother, and to property. Running away at night, and me calling 911 every night for a week. He's in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) 6hrs away, and he was slowly getting better, after really going critical there. Self injury like I've never seen, smashing walls and going through windows. Well they sent all the kids home this holiday. The place closed down. I've never heard of such a thing. I was positive about him coming home, because our visits (over the last 4 months) were good. He's communiticating well with me (in full sentences), following instructions, extremely polite (but he's always been polite), not demanding, not manipulating, not threatening, etc. Well once we get home real life hits again...chores, responsibilities, no money, and no security doors, etc. And his demands, "I'm bored, take me to ______" (fill in the blank). Then I try again to explain that we don't have the money to go there, or the gas to waste. Plus we all went to dinner and the movies when he came back, and that was the most I could do. Then he went to a friends birthday party, but he's always pushing me to ENTERTAIN him to buy him something, etc. His little brother doesn't do this, he finds things to do to entertain himself. But difficult child pushes and demands that I "take" him to fun places, and he's relentless in this. And if he doesn't get what he wants he starts the manipulation, threats, etc. So the stress starts to build with that. Then he reverts back to his nonverbal communication of grunts and pointing, which is very frustrating and stressful because he gets mad that I don't understand what he wants and then I get frustrated with him because HE CAN TALK. But with me he ALWAYS reverts to AS nonverbal communication. This was ok when he was a toddler and not in school, but it's maddening to me when I see him talking to everyone else but me. And that for 4 months at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) he's been talking to me, but he comes home and everything goes back to the way it was. Driving him back to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was a nightmare, he kept opening the door to jump out as we're going down the highway. He was biting himself, me, and car. He was kicking everything, throwing stuff out the window, etc. He kept threatening to do something I was trying so hard not to buy into it and either ignored him or said "go ahead". I kept calling the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) about this and what to do. I stopped when I saw a cop to ask for help........and NOTHING!!!! In the end it was me (alone) having to try and get us there safely. A normal 6hr trip took 11 hrs, then I had to turn around after dropping him off and go home to deal with my other responsibilities. I'm exhausted, furious, very concerned about him always reverting with me and what this reality may mean. I have always been determined to find out what's wrong and to fix all of this, so that I can try and give him the best life possible so he could be ready for adulthood. But I'm very confused I don't know how to get him from reverting back to this dysfunctional dance HE always initiates with me. "I" don't start it. I don't have any desire to play games....I never have. I HATE playing games with people, I'd rather walk away. I have zero tolerance for games, threats, manipulations, being stuck in the same old situation without growth.......so I know I'm not doing it. Plus easy child and I get along great.....it's difficult child who's always starts the turmoil. I can't stand the negative attention seeking anymore, and it's gotten worse I think because I refuse to acknowledge it. I think he's gone to such extremes of violence, threats, manipulation, destruction, etc because I wont buy into his games......period. I need help in solving this, becuase the experts aren't solving it. They sent him home without any backup or support even when I told them we need someone in the home with us durring waking hours. BUT I NEVER GET THIS..........NEVER. So, once again I'm trying to do their job......trying to solve this so that my family can live in love and peace. So, how do I get him from reverting back to these dysfunctional behaviors or worse.....develop worse one's?