klmno
Active Member
My son is 15yo and has been incarcerated sinece 2 weeks after turning 14yo. Previously, while living at home, he disobeyed rules regarding cell phones and the computer in major ways. He had stolen cell phones, ran up bills, been up during all hours of the night using these things, downloading porn, sending photos of himself (although I never saw any sign of nude ones), been court ordered for me to remove the computer, busted through a door to keep it locked up, stole my credit cards to buy things off the internet, tried to buy a gun from the internet, and played very violent games online.
Now the issue of the week for him is that I told him since I HAVE to have the computer for work under the current circumstances and I can't afford for it to get viruses or have files or software messed up, he will have to stay off this computer. I told him he'll have a school issued laptop (no internet service) He's saying "all his friends have internet service, he should have it too because he's older and more responsible now".
OK- I'm sure he's right about that point. However, I keep thinking (and reminded him) about how he never before stayed within the boundaries of the rules so this priviledge would not come back quickly. He's saying he'll work to pay for it and all these other promises like it's the most important thing in the world and I'm being undreasonable. I don't know if I am or not- I have no doubt that most kids his age have their own computer- or at least access- and can easily use the internet. But I know all he did iin the past, albeit he was 11-13yo, and I keep hearing these news stories about worse stuff happening via the internet all the time.
So I'm wondering what others' thoughts are on this subject. I was thinking about telling him if he gets off probation and buys his own computer or pays for wireless service so he can use the internet thru the sd's computer (which will check for inappropriate use and report him) then fine. Otherwise, no.
Where do you all stand on this for a boy this age and given his history?
Oh- and then there's my bro who will contact difficult child if he ever sees a fb or myspace page of difficult child's. And that would lead to a problem.
Now the issue of the week for him is that I told him since I HAVE to have the computer for work under the current circumstances and I can't afford for it to get viruses or have files or software messed up, he will have to stay off this computer. I told him he'll have a school issued laptop (no internet service) He's saying "all his friends have internet service, he should have it too because he's older and more responsible now".
OK- I'm sure he's right about that point. However, I keep thinking (and reminded him) about how he never before stayed within the boundaries of the rules so this priviledge would not come back quickly. He's saying he'll work to pay for it and all these other promises like it's the most important thing in the world and I'm being undreasonable. I don't know if I am or not- I have no doubt that most kids his age have their own computer- or at least access- and can easily use the internet. But I know all he did iin the past, albeit he was 11-13yo, and I keep hearing these news stories about worse stuff happening via the internet all the time.
So I'm wondering what others' thoughts are on this subject. I was thinking about telling him if he gets off probation and buys his own computer or pays for wireless service so he can use the internet thru the sd's computer (which will check for inappropriate use and report him) then fine. Otherwise, no.
Where do you all stand on this for a boy this age and given his history?
Oh- and then there's my bro who will contact difficult child if he ever sees a fb or myspace page of difficult child's. And that would lead to a problem.