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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 557578" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>I can only speak from my recent experience, but the problem with a difficult child is that they often completely blow the doors off typical teen behavior, and transition directly into whacked out totally incorrigible difficult child behavior. If we gave difficult child even a modicum of trust, he would find a loophole and breach that trust to our bafflement. His guidance counselor said that she "almost had to admire him" for creatively finding a way out of doing anything we or his teachers asked of him. Thanks...as we powerlessly watched him throw his future away. The problem was that he was 17 and still a minor when the worst behavior/lying, etc. occurred, so we were still responsible. He, like your difficult child, almost never drove our car - that was a given.</p><p>If she doesn't meet you at work, will she go home to an empty house? If so, I wouldn't advise it. Although I worked from home, difficult child always found another empty sketchy friend's home to hang out and get high or in trouble before he came home to our house. If we texted him to come home, he'd ignore it. If we took his phone away, it was even easier for him to just take off, because then we couldn't even TRY to reach him. His friends were all at school, so he didn't need a phone to reach them. husband just gave up after a while - he was ultimately right, I guess. He said that when difficult child was home, he was miserable and contentious, unhappy and didn't do a lick of homework anyway. So why insist he come home?? 3:30 stretched to 5:00, then he would occasionally miss dinner, then he ALWAYS missed dinner, then he would show up at around 10PM. We just stopped interacting with him because it was no use. I admit it was a bit of a power struggle for me - I believe kids should do what their parents ask. difficult child gave up all sports and school clubs and got fired from his p/t job, so he had NO positive outlets to keep him busy in his free time. He was smart enough to just squeak by a passing grade, with all Ds and Cs so he technically graduated. difficult child was bound and determined to do just what he wanted to do, with whomever he pleased and he was on drugs and truly a hateful creature at that time. We had to alarm the house, dump all the liquor, hide wallets and purses, you name it. When he turned 18, boy did we lower the boom - that's another story, but I'd never want to relive those last 2 yrs. of HS.</p><p>I guess a determined difficult child will find a way to break any ironclad rule or suggestion you throw at them. Does she have any after school activities such as sports, etc. to keep her busy till you get home? Can you talk to guidance and ask if she can volunteer as an office clerk, filing, etc. just till you get out of work and then you can pick her up and take her home? That won't work, of course, if she's chronically late and lackadaisical. If she is upsetting your very pleasant work environment and tossing a black cloud of worry over your job experience, then you'd have to decide whether it's worth it to just chuck the idea of her meeting you there and letting the chips fall where they may.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 557578, member: 13882"] I can only speak from my recent experience, but the problem with a difficult child is that they often completely blow the doors off typical teen behavior, and transition directly into whacked out totally incorrigible difficult child behavior. If we gave difficult child even a modicum of trust, he would find a loophole and breach that trust to our bafflement. His guidance counselor said that she "almost had to admire him" for creatively finding a way out of doing anything we or his teachers asked of him. Thanks...as we powerlessly watched him throw his future away. The problem was that he was 17 and still a minor when the worst behavior/lying, etc. occurred, so we were still responsible. He, like your difficult child, almost never drove our car - that was a given. If she doesn't meet you at work, will she go home to an empty house? If so, I wouldn't advise it. Although I worked from home, difficult child always found another empty sketchy friend's home to hang out and get high or in trouble before he came home to our house. If we texted him to come home, he'd ignore it. If we took his phone away, it was even easier for him to just take off, because then we couldn't even TRY to reach him. His friends were all at school, so he didn't need a phone to reach them. husband just gave up after a while - he was ultimately right, I guess. He said that when difficult child was home, he was miserable and contentious, unhappy and didn't do a lick of homework anyway. So why insist he come home?? 3:30 stretched to 5:00, then he would occasionally miss dinner, then he ALWAYS missed dinner, then he would show up at around 10PM. We just stopped interacting with him because it was no use. I admit it was a bit of a power struggle for me - I believe kids should do what their parents ask. difficult child gave up all sports and school clubs and got fired from his p/t job, so he had NO positive outlets to keep him busy in his free time. He was smart enough to just squeak by a passing grade, with all Ds and Cs so he technically graduated. difficult child was bound and determined to do just what he wanted to do, with whomever he pleased and he was on drugs and truly a hateful creature at that time. We had to alarm the house, dump all the liquor, hide wallets and purses, you name it. When he turned 18, boy did we lower the boom - that's another story, but I'd never want to relive those last 2 yrs. of HS. I guess a determined difficult child will find a way to break any ironclad rule or suggestion you throw at them. Does she have any after school activities such as sports, etc. to keep her busy till you get home? Can you talk to guidance and ask if she can volunteer as an office clerk, filing, etc. just till you get out of work and then you can pick her up and take her home? That won't work, of course, if she's chronically late and lackadaisical. If she is upsetting your very pleasant work environment and tossing a black cloud of worry over your job experience, then you'd have to decide whether it's worth it to just chuck the idea of her meeting you there and letting the chips fall where they may. [/QUOTE]
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