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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 620272" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>GB welcome. I'm sorry you find yourself in the place you're in with your son. You've come to a wonderful place to get support. You've been given terrific advice. You can read that article on detachment the others have mentioned at the bottom of my post here. I think it would be a very good idea for your wife to read it as well. You and your wife getting on the same page will be your first line of defense. I also agree wholeheartedly that she should join us here in this conversation so she can begin to understand the negative ramifications in enabling your son.</p><p></p><p>I believe you are correct in removing your son from your home ASAP. You are being held hostage by his behavior. You are in relationship with drugs not your son. You cannot trust drugs, you have to protect yourselves. Check on the eviction laws in your state. In some states you have to go about eviction through the courts. Find that out. Look into restraining orders next. Get one. Get a list of all of the shelters in town. Once you get all the details worked out, the date, the restraining order, you can usually have a Sheriff escort him out. You cannot live in fear in your own home with a violent person, <u>that is not an option.</u> Your wife needs to get on board with that BEFORE something happens which puts you in peril. </p><p></p><p>Stop giving him any money. I would not get him an apartment. Stop all support. <u>You are supporting a violent addict who intends to do you harm.</u>..............think about that for a minute...............get yourself and your wife some help, some professional help to get you both on the same page and get you both to see the reality of the situation you are in. When we are stuck in a place for a long time we become used to it, we get complacent..........you must pop out of that and recognize the truth of who your son has become. Most of us need professional counseling to be able to see our children for who they have turned out to be when who they turned out to be is someone we are afraid of and who is an addict, a thief, a liar, a manipulator, an abuser..........someone we wouldn't want to even know if they weren't our own child. Get help and get it quickly because you are in a dangerous situation which needs to be remedied NOW. </p><p></p><p>I'm glad you are here. Keep posting, it helps. <u>Act immediately for your own protection. </u></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 620272, member: 13542"] GB welcome. I'm sorry you find yourself in the place you're in with your son. You've come to a wonderful place to get support. You've been given terrific advice. You can read that article on detachment the others have mentioned at the bottom of my post here. I think it would be a very good idea for your wife to read it as well. You and your wife getting on the same page will be your first line of defense. I also agree wholeheartedly that she should join us here in this conversation so she can begin to understand the negative ramifications in enabling your son. I believe you are correct in removing your son from your home ASAP. You are being held hostage by his behavior. You are in relationship with drugs not your son. You cannot trust drugs, you have to protect yourselves. Check on the eviction laws in your state. In some states you have to go about eviction through the courts. Find that out. Look into restraining orders next. Get one. Get a list of all of the shelters in town. Once you get all the details worked out, the date, the restraining order, you can usually have a Sheriff escort him out. You cannot live in fear in your own home with a violent person, [U]that is not an option.[/U] Your wife needs to get on board with that BEFORE something happens which puts you in peril. Stop giving him any money. I would not get him an apartment. Stop all support. [U]You are supporting a violent addict who intends to do you harm.[/U]..............think about that for a minute...............get yourself and your wife some help, some professional help to get you both on the same page and get you both to see the reality of the situation you are in. When we are stuck in a place for a long time we become used to it, we get complacent..........you must pop out of that and recognize the truth of who your son has become. Most of us need professional counseling to be able to see our children for who they have turned out to be when who they turned out to be is someone we are afraid of and who is an addict, a thief, a liar, a manipulator, an abuser..........someone we wouldn't want to even know if they weren't our own child. Get help and get it quickly because you are in a dangerous situation which needs to be remedied NOW. I'm glad you are here. Keep posting, it helps. [U]Act immediately for your own protection. [/U] [/QUOTE]
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