Greetings. I've been away for a while but I'm seething with rage over something that occured at my home in my absence this past week. I need someone to help me organize my thoughts so that I don't keep making the same mistakes and acting the doormat. I went away last Saturday (the 19th) on my first vacation in many, many years, and left my easy child with her father (difficult child 2 lives with his dad, about 4 miles from my home). It was a five day cruise to Bermuda with my mom, aunt and cousin, just us girls, and it was heavenly. easy child has a set of keys to the house, difficult child does not (or so I thought). I told easy child that she could enter my house while I was gone to feed her fish, collect the mail, get clean clothes (our schools were still in session this past week). I should tell you that my difficult child's have a history of having parties in my house when I'm out of town, despite my insistence that they not enter the house while I'm gone. A year and a half ago all my jewelry was stolen during a party, and there is no suspect. Right now difficult child 1 is in treatment in VT and was not involved in this latest episode. So. I got home Thursday and have been finding out in dribs and drabs just what went on in my absence. difficult child 2 had a party Saturday night and easy child found out about it the next day and ratted him out to his dad. Dad apparently displayed no reaction and didn't do anything to prevent his son from throwing two more parties during the week, complete with Keystone Light and weed and vomiting girls. Little sister easy child was at one of these parties and admitted that she drank some beer. I am angry. I am very, very, angry. I have to get a locksmith to change the locks Monday, and I don't feel that I can go away again. I had promised difficult child 1 that I would visit her this Independence Day weekend in VT (she is lonely during holidays) but I'm afraid to leave. Ex husband is passively aggressive in his anger toward me for leaving the marriage and seems not to care what the kids do. For example, difficult child 2 showed up on my doorstep just about an hour ago, drunk and high as a kite, road maps for eyes, asking if he could bring in a very intoxicated 14 yr oldneighbor girl to sober up before she went home. I refused to let him in. I called dad on his house and cell phones, no answer. Left a message to come and pick up his wasted son. I ended up telling my son and friends that if they didn't get off my property I'd call the cops. They scattered. My son just got a ride home with another friend. Whew. I need to calm down, and tomorrow I need to think about what I am going to do, besides changing the locks. My son was going to see a SA counselor ($175/visit, no insurance accepted) but I've decided not to bother anymore, he still gets drunk and stoned at least two days a week, sometimes every day. I am attending Al Anon for my two older kids, and it helps tremendously, but I'm a newbie and haven't been "working the program" for very long. I need a plan, or a boundary statement, to give both difficult child 2 and easy child. At the very minimum, I wont' tolerate illegal drugs or alcohol for underage kids. I have the option at some point of getting a juvenile probation officer for my easy child, but I'd rather not go down that path unless it's really necessary. We've done it for difficult child 2 and it didn't do anything to change his behavior, long term. difficult child 2 is all set to take his driving test on Wednesday but he has no car available to him if he passes, since he violated my rules so flagrantly this past week, and since he refuses to get sober. Neither myself nor my ex is going to lend him our vehicles if we think he's impaired. Didn't mean to rant so long. It's just that I have a history of getting mad, then failing to follow through with the consequences ( for many reasons that only make sense to me). I need your help to stay strong. I don't have a sponsor yet in Al Anon. Thanks for reading this. It feels better to get this off my chest so I can go to sleep.