Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Need to post, difficult child not doing well
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="WhereIsTheLight" data-source="post: 39396" data-attributes="member: 3673"><p>Hearthope, this is the second time I've thrown difficult child out. The first time she went to San Francisco and lived on the street for 4 months. I was a basket case, as detached as I tried to remain, it hurt. Bad.</p><p></p><p>If you ask him to leave, if can you be assured his basic needs will be taken care of, food and shelter, it makes it a bit easier. But it sounds like you are concerned with whom he will live.</p><p></p><p>When I realized that my difficult child would probably live with me, and be supported by me for the rest of my life, I had to exercise a little self-preservation. And it is a relief, and peaceful and I am downright happy (with a sprinkle of guilt) that she is out of the house. And the kitchen is cleaner. And I'm eyeing her room for a home office.</p><p></p><p>I think I would let the chips fall where they may. I've had to do it a few times with difficult child: when the p-hospital asked for my authorization to restrain her and when the school was consulting with me before disciplining her, when she's not compliant with the recovery of her broken jaw. That one nearly killed me, because I know screwing up her progress could have permanent effects on her health, but I had to step away. I had to tell them to deal with her as they saw fit, that I would not interfere with her consequences any more. It goes against everything a mother is made of, and it's hard to keep that detachment without feeling empty and cold.</p><p></p><p>But the payoff, if it comes now, or a year from now, or 10 years from now, is that something soaks into those hardheaded, obstinate skulls, and a lightbulb goes off and one day, they step around that hole and they become that much more closer to the person hiding inside.</p><p></p><p>I'll be thinking about you this week. Serenity be with you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WhereIsTheLight, post: 39396, member: 3673"] Hearthope, this is the second time I've thrown difficult child out. The first time she went to San Francisco and lived on the street for 4 months. I was a basket case, as detached as I tried to remain, it hurt. Bad. If you ask him to leave, if can you be assured his basic needs will be taken care of, food and shelter, it makes it a bit easier. But it sounds like you are concerned with whom he will live. When I realized that my difficult child would probably live with me, and be supported by me for the rest of my life, I had to exercise a little self-preservation. And it is a relief, and peaceful and I am downright happy (with a sprinkle of guilt) that she is out of the house. And the kitchen is cleaner. And I'm eyeing her room for a home office. I think I would let the chips fall where they may. I've had to do it a few times with difficult child: when the p-hospital asked for my authorization to restrain her and when the school was consulting with me before disciplining her, when she's not compliant with the recovery of her broken jaw. That one nearly killed me, because I know screwing up her progress could have permanent effects on her health, but I had to step away. I had to tell them to deal with her as they saw fit, that I would not interfere with her consequences any more. It goes against everything a mother is made of, and it's hard to keep that detachment without feeling empty and cold. But the payoff, if it comes now, or a year from now, or 10 years from now, is that something soaks into those hardheaded, obstinate skulls, and a lightbulb goes off and one day, they step around that hole and they become that much more closer to the person hiding inside. I'll be thinking about you this week. Serenity be with you. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Need to post, difficult child not doing well
Top