Nervous about husband making pressured financial decisions

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by gcvmom, Apr 10, 2010.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    husband's sister #2 works for a financial services company. She is a commissioned salesperson and has to drum up her own referrals. Of course, she's hit up everyone in the family already. Apparently, we are the only ones who have money to invest (in the form of a rollover) and despite husband telling her NO for the past several years, now that he's in a position to be able to roll over his 401K because he's not with the company anymore, she thinks that she can make a move on him to try to persuade a rollover.

    She wanted us to meet with her boss who would "tell" us all about their variable annuity program. (Apparently she can't do this part of her job ???)

    Right away, I have red flags waving -- why do we need to have a live sales pitch when we are perfectly capable readers? We both have college degrees. husband has worked in the financial sector for over 20 years. I told husband that they could give us whatever printed info they have so we could read it at our leisure and make a decision. That wasn't either heard or husband can't say no to this sister. So now he's meeting at her house to hear their little pitch today (and I'm the bad guy because I'm refusing to meet with them. Sorry, but I've got better things to do!)

    My biggest issue: we pay no fees keeping the funds where they are, because once you open an employee account (husband's previous employer is a mutual fund company), you get the benefit of the employee account for life. No sales fees. No purchase fees. No maintenance fees except a flat $10 annual fee. Not per account. Ten dollars period. Forever.

    I know for a fact that insurance companies have lots of fees tied in with these annuities. And the fact that sister in law#2's company is a middleman selling another company's product means that there are even more fees wrapped into this product so that they get THEIR share of the pie.

    I don't know about you all, but I'm pretty selfish when it comes to my financial pie!

    While it's not our entire nest egg, it's a big enough chunk to make me nervous and want to do some research before agreeing to anything. husband can be very impulsive about stuff like this sometimes. I just hope he doesn't agree to anything before discussing it with me. :anxious:
  2. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Wow. I would be scared and nervous too. If you call his sister and tell her to please not make any decisions without your involvement, will that be honored?
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    No, because she's convinced she's doing us a favor. She is the LAST person I would trust with my money, not only because she is just plain ignorant and uneducated and too stubborn to admit what she doesn't know, but because this is the BiPolar (BP) (strongly suspected) sister who has a gambling and shopping habit to support.
  4. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    I would be very very careful. One of our friends started doing this and we were called over so she could "practice" selling. I was reluctant to even go cause I know the drill - I work with insurance agents and companies all day long. She had he story board, flipping pages about ones financial security, Wanted me to fill out a card and rate how she did. Basically her job is to get as many friends/relatives as possible, then it was her "boss" that actually closed the deals. And of course, the best thing, if I had any relatives/friends that were interested, I could make money. Its was really a legalized annunity ponzi scheem. Thankfully I was able to tell her is was a conflict of interest (even though I don't place annunities or life insurance) and a breach of confidentiality with the company I work for. They commissions that they get are unbelievable, and the fees that they charge are unbelievable, especially if you close them out. A good insurance person should not have to bring a closer, aka, their boss, to finalize a deal

  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    That's exactly how I felt :)

    Just pm'd you.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Is it legal for him to agree to something with-o your signature? Are you willing to be the "bad guy" and say no after he agrees? husband cannot do anything with his retirement with-o my signature. Not sure if it is just this state or not.

    Either way, I have interviewed for these jobs and WOW are they ripoffs.

    Does husband agree that his sis is not a good person to trust with finances because her gambling and shopping problems?

    I am sorry you are in this position - stay strong!
  7. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    After husband's last hypomanic episode I forced him to put most of the family pie in my name. I have to sign all financial changes.

    Is it possible yours has started to have an episode? I would be very nervous having this sister in law involved in pressuring him. I'm sorry you're having this extra problem, I wish things would let up a bit!
  8. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I have NO problem playing the bad guy :) In our state, you cannot change beneficiaries without spousal consent, however, I don't think you need consent for investment decisions like this. Still, he has to go through me to figure out how to process the request because he is pretty much clueless. And I don't think that's something I'll be cooperative about, unless he miraculously convinces me otherwise.

    husband was wound up about this this morning and started getting defensive because I was questioning the soundness of the whole idea. That's another red flag in my opinion. I know he's aware of his sister's gambling issues -- he's the one that came home and told me she drives down to the indian casino about an hour south on weekday MORNINGS after she drops her daughter off at school! Her husband isn't too happy with her about it, but she says she wins sometimes, and the other times she's trying to win back what she's lost (red flag, anyone?) And she's ALWAYS been a compulsive shopper, although it's better now that she's on Wellbutrin and Prozac, but she's not completely "cured" of it.

    Sigh. I'll know more when he gets back from golf later today.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Any news? I am glad that he has to go through you to figure it all out. That isn't just "his" retirement. That is yours and the kids' futures also, so having him make expensive mistakes is not wise. Even though it is his sister, and I am sure he wants to help her, he has to put his responsibilities to you and the kids first. in my opinion anyway.
  10. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    If sister in law is involved she might make sure he will not be clueless. I'm surprised California is so numb as to not require spousal consent for investments.

    I know that I'm paranoid enough to check my bedsheets for spiders before I get in, but your situation gives me the heebeejeebees.
  11. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    He's home and he did not make any decisions or promises. He sat through the dog and pony show and said he needed to read the info and talk it over with me :) So I am breathing a lot easier tonight! I'm fairly certain that once he looks at the facts he will see that this is not a good move for us.