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Never needed rattled beads and board power like this before :( :(
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 287287" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Before my easy child could see my S/O, I sent her to her bio dads. She was to be home all this week, then on a 2 week holiday to the east coast with her dad and step mom. I faked a flare of my MS (ironically now not faked, the stress has induced a flare and i"m a physical mess) so that easy child would not know what happened to S/O and so she would not be here as this guy is still around and a serious threat.</p><p></p><p>difficult child is not allowed outside. We don't leave. If we do go somewhere (police station with the superintendent etc), we make difficult child come too. House is locked tight. No curtains or blinds open. We feel like we are under seige. We are now attempting to find a way to somehow relax and try to cope in a healthy way until he is gone. We do know that won't stop him from returning to our road if he wants, but at least he'll no longer be behind us and if he comes round, all on the road would call police right away knowing he is here to harm someone. </p><p></p><p>There's so much more to this, events this week, things we learned about his thoughts and words and actions past 4 years. He believes truly that him and I are meant to be together. He is commited to his "phase three" since the "phase two" attack on S/O did not get S/O out of our lives. It is believed by all of us and police, that after attack 1, when S/O was unconcious on grass outside my house, this guy believed him dead then calmly walked up and straight into the house 2 doors away, as if he'd not done anything to worry about, and was just out for a neighbourly visit. </p><p></p><p>our entire road has houses locked as tight as mine. We have all exchanged telephone numbers and inform each other of any new development. Nobody will walk out their door alone. No kids are playing outside. Nobody even goes to their car in their driveways alone.</p><p></p><p>We live a society where people this dangerous get such compassion from their illness, that they can be free to roam our streets until they literally kill someone. He meant to kill my S/O. When he accepts I will never be with him, will he want to kill me??? He considers my children as HIS children. When will they ever be, and how can I keep them, safe??? I thank God that easy child is now at her dads, off to holiday on Wed. She will not return until after eviction is done and S/O's face should be much improved then. I don[t know how I will explain his face to her come that time. </p><p></p><p>Meanwhile, we sit and try to not to drive ourselves crazy with fear. I sleep with a phone under my pillow and bear spray on my night table. I am waking up in panic, dripping sweat, just suddenly jerking awake at a slight noise and bolting up in fear in bed. I'm trying to NOT let this consume us. NOT let this disable my sleep. NOT let this affect my MS. But our subcouncious is a funny place. I wake up in the night thinking I have to protect S/O. From a dead sleep <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> </p><p></p><p>I am thankful S/O is alive and no brain damage. I am thankful my kids and I are safe right now. I am thankful for my terrific road and the people here. My landlord and superintendent gave my family lovely roses the other day to express their sadness at this happening to us. I am thankful the police finally know that this man is as dangerous as he is. Ever officer for every shift has been brought up to date as to if a call comes in from our road about him, to not mess around, ask no questions, just get here, fast. They know to deal with him firmly as he is a danger to the officers as well and is a man with a ton of weapons that legally he is allowed to have since he calls them "collectables". I am thankful that this week so many around our road have told us how valued we are to the area and well thought of and cared about. I am thankful they are watching for us, keeping alert, calling to check on us and inquire how we are coping etc. </p><p></p><p>I have alot to be thankful for. Yet I sit in fear for all of us and even following his eviction, will never know when or if he loses his obsession with me, and when or if I am at risk or the kids or S/O. I feel I've been robbed of security and have no clue how we are to reclaim it.</p><p></p><p>Please rattle beads for us. I have asked in the past, have rattled for many of you as well, but never have I felt a need this urgent to have good karma, prayers, posititivy sent our way.</p><p></p><p>--------------------</p><p>Apologies for the absurd length. I didn't intend to say so much but once typing it felt theraputic to get out my feelings. Trying to behave bravely and not appear so rattled to difficult child, to be there for S/O and not show anyone how badly this has affected me, I didn't realize how much I needed to pour my heart out SOMEHOW. </p><p></p><p>Anyone who waded through ALL of that, bless your heart!! It is nearly a novel. Thank you for taking the time. Anyone unable to read ALL that, can't blame you. Whew!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 287287, member: 4264"] Before my easy child could see my S/O, I sent her to her bio dads. She was to be home all this week, then on a 2 week holiday to the east coast with her dad and step mom. I faked a flare of my MS (ironically now not faked, the stress has induced a flare and i"m a physical mess) so that easy child would not know what happened to S/O and so she would not be here as this guy is still around and a serious threat. difficult child is not allowed outside. We don't leave. If we do go somewhere (police station with the superintendent etc), we make difficult child come too. House is locked tight. No curtains or blinds open. We feel like we are under seige. We are now attempting to find a way to somehow relax and try to cope in a healthy way until he is gone. We do know that won't stop him from returning to our road if he wants, but at least he'll no longer be behind us and if he comes round, all on the road would call police right away knowing he is here to harm someone. There's so much more to this, events this week, things we learned about his thoughts and words and actions past 4 years. He believes truly that him and I are meant to be together. He is commited to his "phase three" since the "phase two" attack on S/O did not get S/O out of our lives. It is believed by all of us and police, that after attack 1, when S/O was unconcious on grass outside my house, this guy believed him dead then calmly walked up and straight into the house 2 doors away, as if he'd not done anything to worry about, and was just out for a neighbourly visit. our entire road has houses locked as tight as mine. We have all exchanged telephone numbers and inform each other of any new development. Nobody will walk out their door alone. No kids are playing outside. Nobody even goes to their car in their driveways alone. We live a society where people this dangerous get such compassion from their illness, that they can be free to roam our streets until they literally kill someone. He meant to kill my S/O. When he accepts I will never be with him, will he want to kill me??? He considers my children as HIS children. When will they ever be, and how can I keep them, safe??? I thank God that easy child is now at her dads, off to holiday on Wed. She will not return until after eviction is done and S/O's face should be much improved then. I don[t know how I will explain his face to her come that time. Meanwhile, we sit and try to not to drive ourselves crazy with fear. I sleep with a phone under my pillow and bear spray on my night table. I am waking up in panic, dripping sweat, just suddenly jerking awake at a slight noise and bolting up in fear in bed. I'm trying to NOT let this consume us. NOT let this disable my sleep. NOT let this affect my MS. But our subcouncious is a funny place. I wake up in the night thinking I have to protect S/O. From a dead sleep :( I am thankful S/O is alive and no brain damage. I am thankful my kids and I are safe right now. I am thankful for my terrific road and the people here. My landlord and superintendent gave my family lovely roses the other day to express their sadness at this happening to us. I am thankful the police finally know that this man is as dangerous as he is. Ever officer for every shift has been brought up to date as to if a call comes in from our road about him, to not mess around, ask no questions, just get here, fast. They know to deal with him firmly as he is a danger to the officers as well and is a man with a ton of weapons that legally he is allowed to have since he calls them "collectables". I am thankful that this week so many around our road have told us how valued we are to the area and well thought of and cared about. I am thankful they are watching for us, keeping alert, calling to check on us and inquire how we are coping etc. I have alot to be thankful for. Yet I sit in fear for all of us and even following his eviction, will never know when or if he loses his obsession with me, and when or if I am at risk or the kids or S/O. I feel I've been robbed of security and have no clue how we are to reclaim it. Please rattle beads for us. I have asked in the past, have rattled for many of you as well, but never have I felt a need this urgent to have good karma, prayers, posititivy sent our way. -------------------- Apologies for the absurd length. I didn't intend to say so much but once typing it felt theraputic to get out my feelings. Trying to behave bravely and not appear so rattled to difficult child, to be there for S/O and not show anyone how badly this has affected me, I didn't realize how much I needed to pour my heart out SOMEHOW. Anyone who waded through ALL of that, bless your heart!! It is nearly a novel. Thank you for taking the time. Anyone unable to read ALL that, can't blame you. Whew!!!! [/QUOTE]
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Never needed rattled beads and board power like this before :( :(
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