Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Never send a man.. (major rant)
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 145451" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Men think in different ways. I've been saying this for decades - women think in spirals, men think in straight lines. They go from point A to point B. If there is any need to deviate, it confuses them. it's not what they're used to. Any need to do any other stuff on the way or to handle sudden catastrophic change to expectations - they crumble.</p><p></p><p>Women, on the other hand, because we're used to thinking in spirals we may take longer to get from point A to point B (although you'd need to put a stopwatch on it) but we are more capable of picking up all the incidental stuff along the way, and dealing with the need to suddenly change horses midstream.</p><p></p><p>I'm lucky in husband, he's more capable than most. But he still does better when given a chance to plan ahead. To his credit, he will work out his own directions and make his own lists, often asking me for any contact info or other stuff he needs. HE and I will sit down and workshop a problem, rather than me presenting him with a list (or vice versa). We give each other reasons (such as, "We need copies of ALL test results because it can save us MONEY and time, to have them.") If you have a reason which you know will push his buttons (ie MONEY being saved) then you are more likely to get his male brain paying sufficient attention, so he will be able to stay on task better.</p><p></p><p>Eleven years ago husband had to suddenly step into my shoes when I was suddenly admitted to hospital for what turned out to be a three week stay. It was just as we were organising assessment and diagnosis for our younger three kids, and we'd just been hit for six by the announcement that we were dealing with autism, multiple cases. It was literally minutes later that we were told I had to go to hospital.</p><p>husband was the man on the spot. He had to hold things together at home, slide into my routine, handle the tantrums and behaviour problems and the sudden catastrophes. All of this was happening while we were trying to come to terms with what we had been told about the kids.</p><p>I was in hospital. I arranged for a phone by my bedside so I could be 'present' at meetings on conference call. husband & I talked every night (and often at other times). I rang to organise appointments, further assessments, etc. husband had to make the lunches, do the washing and cooking and handle the emergency dash to the hospital with easy child, when difficult child 3 developed croup.</p><p></p><p>It wasn't perfect. But what helped was we had set up a system of communication first, which we used. What also helped - husband doesn't have this attitude of "I'm doing her a favour." Instead, he took it all on board as his job because I wasn't there. There was none of the "this is woman's work" attitude anywhere, which is where i think a lot of men fall down.</p><p></p><p>In our house, I do men's work as well as women's work. So does husband. We were both raised to it (me, less so). There are a few exceptions - husband isn't brilliant with a sewing machine and he doesn't knit or crochet. And he's never let me use a lawnmower. But I'll use other power tools and he's a good cook.</p><p></p><p>We communicate and we share.</p><p></p><p>Some men can't do this. Some women can't let them.</p><p></p><p>The bloke over the road wants his wife to chop the wood. She refuses because she is ultra-feminine, she might break a nail. It's a matter of principle for her - "me - house and kids. You - garden and toolshed." I am glad for her sake she doesn't have difficult child kids.</p><p></p><p>I used to work with men, which is how my views on how men's/women's brains work were confirmed. I had to make sure I was seen as an honorary male, or I could never have got my work done. For years I watched how these blokes communicated, worked, functioned - and I stick to my theory. Men and women's brains work differently. A few rare, lucky people are able to mentally 'swap genders' when it comes to brain function, but it is rare. For those who can't - give up trying to tax them. They'll always stuff up.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 145451, member: 1991"] Men think in different ways. I've been saying this for decades - women think in spirals, men think in straight lines. They go from point A to point B. If there is any need to deviate, it confuses them. it's not what they're used to. Any need to do any other stuff on the way or to handle sudden catastrophic change to expectations - they crumble. Women, on the other hand, because we're used to thinking in spirals we may take longer to get from point A to point B (although you'd need to put a stopwatch on it) but we are more capable of picking up all the incidental stuff along the way, and dealing with the need to suddenly change horses midstream. I'm lucky in husband, he's more capable than most. But he still does better when given a chance to plan ahead. To his credit, he will work out his own directions and make his own lists, often asking me for any contact info or other stuff he needs. HE and I will sit down and workshop a problem, rather than me presenting him with a list (or vice versa). We give each other reasons (such as, "We need copies of ALL test results because it can save us MONEY and time, to have them.") If you have a reason which you know will push his buttons (ie MONEY being saved) then you are more likely to get his male brain paying sufficient attention, so he will be able to stay on task better. Eleven years ago husband had to suddenly step into my shoes when I was suddenly admitted to hospital for what turned out to be a three week stay. It was just as we were organising assessment and diagnosis for our younger three kids, and we'd just been hit for six by the announcement that we were dealing with autism, multiple cases. It was literally minutes later that we were told I had to go to hospital. husband was the man on the spot. He had to hold things together at home, slide into my routine, handle the tantrums and behaviour problems and the sudden catastrophes. All of this was happening while we were trying to come to terms with what we had been told about the kids. I was in hospital. I arranged for a phone by my bedside so I could be 'present' at meetings on conference call. husband & I talked every night (and often at other times). I rang to organise appointments, further assessments, etc. husband had to make the lunches, do the washing and cooking and handle the emergency dash to the hospital with easy child, when difficult child 3 developed croup. It wasn't perfect. But what helped was we had set up a system of communication first, which we used. What also helped - husband doesn't have this attitude of "I'm doing her a favour." Instead, he took it all on board as his job because I wasn't there. There was none of the "this is woman's work" attitude anywhere, which is where i think a lot of men fall down. In our house, I do men's work as well as women's work. So does husband. We were both raised to it (me, less so). There are a few exceptions - husband isn't brilliant with a sewing machine and he doesn't knit or crochet. And he's never let me use a lawnmower. But I'll use other power tools and he's a good cook. We communicate and we share. Some men can't do this. Some women can't let them. The bloke over the road wants his wife to chop the wood. She refuses because she is ultra-feminine, she might break a nail. It's a matter of principle for her - "me - house and kids. You - garden and toolshed." I am glad for her sake she doesn't have difficult child kids. I used to work with men, which is how my views on how men's/women's brains work were confirmed. I had to make sure I was seen as an honorary male, or I could never have got my work done. For years I watched how these blokes communicated, worked, functioned - and I stick to my theory. Men and women's brains work differently. A few rare, lucky people are able to mentally 'swap genders' when it comes to brain function, but it is rare. For those who can't - give up trying to tax them. They'll always stuff up. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Never send a man.. (major rant)
Top