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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 411456" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I wouldn't call. You may be her mom but you are NOT her punching bag - literal or figurative. She can call someone else about this, including the police or an attorney, and you owe her exactly NOTHING. </p><p> </p><p>She won't be happy that you don't call, but that is not your problem any longer. She abused you greatly and yet you seem to still feel you owe her. Exactly what do you "owe" her and why? Because you are her mom? I would do all you can to fight that type of thinking. You do not owe her anything at all - ever.</p><p> </p><p>If she wants the benefit of your wisdom and guidance then she can start by repaying you for all of the expenses you paid for her over the last year (at least since she turned 18), and she can start to turn her life around and prove to you that she is a different person than she was when she hurt you so much. Until then, she has no right to ask anything of you, in my opinion.</p><p> </p><p>I know that is easy to say (or even think) and very very hard to do. PLEASE go to a dv center and ask for help understanding and figuring how to cope with your abusive relationship with Kat. We can only help so much here, they will be able to provide a lot of real world help. If you cannot go there for some reason, please find a therapist and get them to help you cut the ties so that you can build a happy life for yourself. Until Kat makes some huge, real changes in her life, it would be best for you to stay as far away from her as possible. </p><p> </p><p>If you cannot do that, and must call her, just let her know that you don't have a clue and she needs to consult an attorney and no you won't pay for it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 411456, member: 1233"] I wouldn't call. You may be her mom but you are NOT her punching bag - literal or figurative. She can call someone else about this, including the police or an attorney, and you owe her exactly NOTHING. She won't be happy that you don't call, but that is not your problem any longer. She abused you greatly and yet you seem to still feel you owe her. Exactly what do you "owe" her and why? Because you are her mom? I would do all you can to fight that type of thinking. You do not owe her anything at all - ever. If she wants the benefit of your wisdom and guidance then she can start by repaying you for all of the expenses you paid for her over the last year (at least since she turned 18), and she can start to turn her life around and prove to you that she is a different person than she was when she hurt you so much. Until then, she has no right to ask anything of you, in my opinion. I know that is easy to say (or even think) and very very hard to do. PLEASE go to a dv center and ask for help understanding and figuring how to cope with your abusive relationship with Kat. We can only help so much here, they will be able to provide a lot of real world help. If you cannot go there for some reason, please find a therapist and get them to help you cut the ties so that you can build a happy life for yourself. Until Kat makes some huge, real changes in her life, it would be best for you to stay as far away from her as possible. If you cannot do that, and must call her, just let her know that you don't have a clue and she needs to consult an attorney and no you won't pay for it. [/QUOTE]
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