Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
New - 8 year old on the verge of being expelled - long
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 472870" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>HI there! so very glad you found this board. Your poor boys. I am sorry you have not received the guidance and support you all deserve and it seems your school district is not following the law. It is true they are mandated to screen for disabilities. FOR SURE write that letter and make sure you send it certified mail so you have proof you sent it. Even kids who are suspected of a disability and in process for testing receive protection under the law. So first of all I totally agree with everything everyone has said and I hope you can use the information to get the ball rolling. I will just add some other things that jump to mind. It can be overwhelming so just grab those things that let you take a step forward for now and feel free to come back to your thread over and over to review things as you move on. </p><p></p><p>You are right. What they said about the "labeling" is such old fashioned thinking. First of all everything is strictly confidential especially when protected by an IEP. So are they admitting they would break that confidentiality? Your instinct that they have already labeled him (inappropriately) is correct. He is thought of as a kid who misbehaves and is a rude brat, bad whatever.... There are very few people on this earth who dont avoid conflict and punishment IF they have the ability. The school "professionals" should be ashamed.</p><p></p><p>I have done school evaluations for many years and it breaks my heart you are in an area where people are avoiding getting the appropriate help. I just have not experienced that beyond a few people here and there, not a full child study team ever, so these folks are shocking to me (and you are not alone because there are tons of stories here with the same experience). If they do the right thing by him ALL of their lives will be easier along with your son. Usually, teachers who go into working with kids who have special needs do it because they want to and they have learned how to support them. I pray that once you get past these bureaucrats, you can then get to the qualified staff who will be able to support him. </p><p></p><p>First it is important to find out what is really going on...so pursue the IEP initial assessment AND please please try to find a private neuropsychologist or child development center where they have these folks, to do a full assessment. It should include Occupational Therapist (OT) (Occupational Therapy) and Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) (speech language pathology), hearing, vision, along with the psychology part which includes IQ, behavior rating scales etc. If your one child is Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) there may be related things going on with the other even if he doesn't meet criteria for full Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) (like severe sensory integration disorder, processing problems, etc.) Or could be totally a separate diagnosis.</p><p></p><p>In the area I live, we tell parents straight up, the schools do not diagnose. Schools are mandated to find out what educational disability category a child meets criteria for so they can receive the most appropriate educational services. Even if the very same professionals in another setting could diagnose legally, in the school districts that is not allowed...it is beyond the scope of practice there so even with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids they are not supposed to say --he has aspergers, or he has low functioning autism, etc. Just that they meet criteria for Autistic Spectrum Disorders. (they might say it off the record that it seems like Aspergers but you would need a medical site to diagnose that) so, in my opinion I wouldn't let them tell you anything about what/who he IS. What he IS, is an innocent child who has adults in the schools who have not appropriately addressed his needs.</p><p></p><p>As you are seeing, his self esteem is may develop around the thought that he is not a good kid. This is a crime in my opinion, caused by terrible neglect of his needs and civil rights by the school district. </p><p></p><p>The mandate is that kids have a POSITIVE behavioral support plan. So even if they push you to do some kind of behavioral contract in the mean time, remember the appropriate thing is to state what he needs to do and what the rewards will be for those things. This is why an FBA (systematic behavior assessment which looks at the behavior considering things that happen before, where they happen, how people responded, etc.) that information will help decide if he is trying to escape tasks that are too hard, if something triggered him to become anxious etc. DO NOT let them tell you everything is for attention. While attention can reinforce and continue a behavior, it rarely starts the behavior and is the number one error in behavior analysis. If you do a search for FBA you will find lots of good stuff. Here is one really nice one: <a href="http://cecp.air.org/fba/" target="_blank">Functional Behavioral Assessment</a></p><p></p><p>The websites for sp. ed suggested will also have documents about behavior...assessment, plans, rules, rights, etc.</p><p>All of the goals should be worded for what he is to do not what he is NOT supposed to do. he is supposed to be reinforced for doing the right thing. If he does not have the skills to do so then those goals are to be in the IEP as teachable skills.</p><p></p><p>Does that make sense? If they give you a proposed plan...feel free to type it in here and we will be happy to give you feedback. Dont ever feel you need to sign anything they give you right away! Just say...this looks great. I need a little time to read it more carefully and I will get back to you very soon. You have that legal right. Do not sign anything that is not part of the special education process...like some kind of behavior contract that is not thru special education. </p><p></p><p>Kids with disabilities that affect behavior are in my humble opinion the most neglected, mistreated and undereducated kids in our schools. We have to become what this board calls warrior moms (and dads) because even in a good situation, you always have to be vigilent and to be a strong advocate.</p><p></p><p>If you can find an educational advocate please do so. ARC is accross the nation and maybe there is a chapter near you. Their advocates are free and really good around here. There are lots of options for looking so just ask and people here have probably done it. He has already been hurt enough. You may need to decide if this school is even worth working with because they may already have such a bad attitude about your son. That will be your call because of course it is not easy to move or switch schools especially when there is more than one child in a family. Hopefully once they see you are on to them and know your sons rights, maybe they will fall in line a little! We can hope and pray for that.</p><p></p><p>Enough rambling, bottom line is you are not alone, your instincts and ideas are right and we are here to help. </p><p></p><p>Lots of really good websites to help including Writeslaw, PACER, and ARC there are many others like even about.com has great special needs information put in really simple form. Your state department of ed website may have great information about Special Education if you search their site. usually they list outside agencies for parent support. those websites are designed to look very good to auditors etc. so even if they dont follow best practices they want to appear to do so and so those sites can be useful.</p><p></p><p>please keep us updated. you are not in this alone by any means.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 472870, member: 12886"] HI there! so very glad you found this board. Your poor boys. I am sorry you have not received the guidance and support you all deserve and it seems your school district is not following the law. It is true they are mandated to screen for disabilities. FOR SURE write that letter and make sure you send it certified mail so you have proof you sent it. Even kids who are suspected of a disability and in process for testing receive protection under the law. So first of all I totally agree with everything everyone has said and I hope you can use the information to get the ball rolling. I will just add some other things that jump to mind. It can be overwhelming so just grab those things that let you take a step forward for now and feel free to come back to your thread over and over to review things as you move on. You are right. What they said about the "labeling" is such old fashioned thinking. First of all everything is strictly confidential especially when protected by an IEP. So are they admitting they would break that confidentiality? Your instinct that they have already labeled him (inappropriately) is correct. He is thought of as a kid who misbehaves and is a rude brat, bad whatever.... There are very few people on this earth who dont avoid conflict and punishment IF they have the ability. The school "professionals" should be ashamed. I have done school evaluations for many years and it breaks my heart you are in an area where people are avoiding getting the appropriate help. I just have not experienced that beyond a few people here and there, not a full child study team ever, so these folks are shocking to me (and you are not alone because there are tons of stories here with the same experience). If they do the right thing by him ALL of their lives will be easier along with your son. Usually, teachers who go into working with kids who have special needs do it because they want to and they have learned how to support them. I pray that once you get past these bureaucrats, you can then get to the qualified staff who will be able to support him. First it is important to find out what is really going on...so pursue the IEP initial assessment AND please please try to find a private neuropsychologist or child development center where they have these folks, to do a full assessment. It should include Occupational Therapist (OT) (Occupational Therapy) and Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) (speech language pathology), hearing, vision, along with the psychology part which includes IQ, behavior rating scales etc. If your one child is Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) there may be related things going on with the other even if he doesn't meet criteria for full Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) (like severe sensory integration disorder, processing problems, etc.) Or could be totally a separate diagnosis. In the area I live, we tell parents straight up, the schools do not diagnose. Schools are mandated to find out what educational disability category a child meets criteria for so they can receive the most appropriate educational services. Even if the very same professionals in another setting could diagnose legally, in the school districts that is not allowed...it is beyond the scope of practice there so even with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids they are not supposed to say --he has aspergers, or he has low functioning autism, etc. Just that they meet criteria for Autistic Spectrum Disorders. (they might say it off the record that it seems like Aspergers but you would need a medical site to diagnose that) so, in my opinion I wouldn't let them tell you anything about what/who he IS. What he IS, is an innocent child who has adults in the schools who have not appropriately addressed his needs. As you are seeing, his self esteem is may develop around the thought that he is not a good kid. This is a crime in my opinion, caused by terrible neglect of his needs and civil rights by the school district. The mandate is that kids have a POSITIVE behavioral support plan. So even if they push you to do some kind of behavioral contract in the mean time, remember the appropriate thing is to state what he needs to do and what the rewards will be for those things. This is why an FBA (systematic behavior assessment which looks at the behavior considering things that happen before, where they happen, how people responded, etc.) that information will help decide if he is trying to escape tasks that are too hard, if something triggered him to become anxious etc. DO NOT let them tell you everything is for attention. While attention can reinforce and continue a behavior, it rarely starts the behavior and is the number one error in behavior analysis. If you do a search for FBA you will find lots of good stuff. Here is one really nice one: [url=http://cecp.air.org/fba/]Functional Behavioral Assessment[/url] The websites for sp. ed suggested will also have documents about behavior...assessment, plans, rules, rights, etc. All of the goals should be worded for what he is to do not what he is NOT supposed to do. he is supposed to be reinforced for doing the right thing. If he does not have the skills to do so then those goals are to be in the IEP as teachable skills. Does that make sense? If they give you a proposed plan...feel free to type it in here and we will be happy to give you feedback. Dont ever feel you need to sign anything they give you right away! Just say...this looks great. I need a little time to read it more carefully and I will get back to you very soon. You have that legal right. Do not sign anything that is not part of the special education process...like some kind of behavior contract that is not thru special education. Kids with disabilities that affect behavior are in my humble opinion the most neglected, mistreated and undereducated kids in our schools. We have to become what this board calls warrior moms (and dads) because even in a good situation, you always have to be vigilent and to be a strong advocate. If you can find an educational advocate please do so. ARC is accross the nation and maybe there is a chapter near you. Their advocates are free and really good around here. There are lots of options for looking so just ask and people here have probably done it. He has already been hurt enough. You may need to decide if this school is even worth working with because they may already have such a bad attitude about your son. That will be your call because of course it is not easy to move or switch schools especially when there is more than one child in a family. Hopefully once they see you are on to them and know your sons rights, maybe they will fall in line a little! We can hope and pray for that. Enough rambling, bottom line is you are not alone, your instincts and ideas are right and we are here to help. Lots of really good websites to help including Writeslaw, PACER, and ARC there are many others like even about.com has great special needs information put in really simple form. Your state department of ed website may have great information about Special Education if you search their site. usually they list outside agencies for parent support. those websites are designed to look very good to auditors etc. so even if they dont follow best practices they want to appear to do so and so those sites can be useful. please keep us updated. you are not in this alone by any means. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
New - 8 year old on the verge of being expelled - long
Top