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<blockquote data-quote="Transparent" data-source="post: 222405" data-attributes="member: 6498"><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">At this point, they still believe he has anger management problems as a result of the depression. I feel that's <em>part</em> of his problem, but not the core. While I agree that depression can cause anger issues, I don't feel it's the only problem here and nor do I believe that he's <em>that</em> depressed. They don't do any extensive testing at the facility he's in right now. They draw a drug test blood on arrival, he sees a counselor daily and a psychiatric 2 or 3 times before he's released. As for his medications, as of right now, nothing has changed. Celexa 10mg at bed time. Of course this could change before his discharge though - but I'm not counting on it.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">He was set up for a counselor and a psychiatric after he was discharged. Unfortunately, he couldn't keep his composure at school long enough to make it to his first session. Thankfully we have a 24 hour crisis center right here in town if we need it and I can also call the hospital and let them know what he's doing and they can take him straight away if needed. The thing that gets me is he knows right from wrong and he knows what consequences he faces for threatening someone's life - but he does it anyway and with no remorse. Everything is always all about him. It always has been.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">As of right this minute, there's nothing in place. However, we have an appointment with the principal tomorrow to set up guidelines and consequence/disciplinary actions depending on the situation. The school is very inconsistent. He had threatened the lives of 2 children in 2 days before we were notified the first time. Upon the second threat, he was suspended from school for half a day. *cough* He spent 5 days as an inpatient for that mess and missed Thanksgiving with us. Ten days later he's threatened to shoot a girl and the next day he's hitting another girl in the head. We didn't find out about the threat until 24 hours later when they decided to call and let us know about the hitting. UNACCEPTABLE PRACTICES, in my opinion! I want to know immediately when my son is doing something so despicable. I really don't know of any school that has this type of tolerance level. Especially during times like now. What happens when the big brother or sister or mom or dad come to school and want to "intervene" to keep the child that my son has threatened safe. Know what I mean?? I fear for my son's life.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">husband is very involved. We're both 100&#37; and work as a team - me usually being the vocal one because he has a hard time with words but we're always on the same page and we discuss everything - meticulously at times. I'm sure you know where I'm coming from. For the first year I was "on the fence" so to speak. I would sit and watch and offer advice over the things I saw and I would try to steer my difficult child in the right direction. Of course I never got any results, so as time went on, I got more and more involved. It was hard for husband to see the things I saw - but he sees things almost identical to how I do now. Once he was able to separate himself and look at things from the outside, it was a big eye opener. I'm so proud of him! </span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">This sounds like a good idea. I will bring it up at our family session at the hospital and see where the nearest one is. I'm pretty sure we don't have any relatively close, but that's alright. I'll go anywhere I need to go. Thank you!</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">My husband is adopted so there's limited information available about his side of the tree. I can vouch for him and say that he's one of the most level headed and mild tempered people I've ever met. As for his mother, I don't believe there's anything there - nothing mentioned in the medical history that suggests any mental or mood disorders.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">As for the mother's side of the tree, I don't even know where to begin. difficult child's mother was depressed and bi polar and had a prescription drug addiction. She was known as a "seeker" at most ER's in their area. After she passed away, my husband found credit card bills where she had purchased drugs from overseas - she had applied for credit in her mother's name and racked up bills in excess of $40,000 to support her habit. That's right - $40,000. I don't have any idea how long she'd been purchasing drugs above and beyond what she was already prescribed but -yeah, major problem. My difficult child would be left in his crib for hours on end because she was too stoned to get off the couch to tend to him. husband was always at work and never knew. The neighbors finally called husband's dad and informed him that they could hear my difficult child crying for hours. difficult child was put in daycare after that so that his mother could stay at home and continue divulging in her habit without having to worry about difficult child. husband says he had no idea things were so bad but of course hindsight is always 20/20 and now that he knows, he said signs were there, but he didn't recognize them. Apparently she wasn't too horribly stoned by the time he got home from work late at night, so he was unaware of just how bad it was during the day. Her mother takes medications for depression as well and she is the most hateful human I've ever met. She uses every member of her family as pawns to get what she wants - and all of her surviving children are on antidepressants. This is a group of people that live in the same house - grandchildren and all - in deplorable conditions with a dog that never goes outside and the kids sleep on the floor. I was in this house 4 years ago and never went back in. The only shower in the home is unusable because all the tile work has fallen into the tub and according to difficult child that still visits once a year, those tiles are still in the tub. Rest assured, difficult child is not allowed to stay the nights in this house and thankfully these people live more than 5 hours away from us.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The grandiose used to drive me up the wall! I would tell my husband that difficult child was setting himself up for a lifetime of disappointments with his thinking patterns. It's not that difficult child believes he has the powers of God but more that he's perfect like God. He knows all and sees all and is walking perfection. Hence the "not my fault" and "I didn't do it" excuses we always get. He's justified in everything he does, Know what I mean?? I know he has no empathy and no remorse and he doesn't seem to care that he doesn't have these feelings. But then if he's never felt them, I guess he wouldn't care to begin with. It's creepy sitting next to him sometimes and when he looks at you it's as if he's hollow. It's almost like he has no soul and it pains me to say that. It hurts me for my difficult child and for my husband. I also don't believe that he loves my husband the way that my DS and daughter love me or the way my daughter loves my husband. It's almost like there's something holding him back from feeling love. He knows self love, he's got an abundance of that to the point it's sickening. Beyond normal adolescent conceitedness you know? (Godlike) Ugh! But when it comes to showing love to others, he says "I love you" under his breath and only after husband says it to him or if I say it to him - never offering love in any way - it always seems forced.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Sure. We're on the same page with that too. We're willing to do anything/everything we have to do in order to get a proper diagnosis and/or treatment. We know that this will affect our difficult child for the rest of his life and like all of us here, we want them to be as successful as possible and be able to live full (law abiding) lives. Thanks for the book rec'd. I'll pick that one up too. </span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">I'm afraid to diagnose him myself. I say CD? because he shows so many signs of it and I used it in my sig to show the extremes of his behavior. I hope he doesn't have it. I hope my gut feelings are wrong - this child doesn't seem human to me. I cry as I type that but it's my instinct, my mothering instinct and my true gut feeling and that scares the hell out of me. He's never left alone with the children and NEVER with my baby daughter. Never. She even sleeps with me and I sleep with one eye and two ears open. Thankfully my DS is twice the size of difficult child and has that edge over him. Granted when difficult child has an episode anything could happen, but I feel somewhat safe in the size aspect. That and they're always within an earshot. Both boys have separate rooms downstairs but I can hear them - especially when they argue or call out. husband and I are in the process of moving our master bedroom downstairs as well to be closer and more involved on a daily AND nightly basis now. I just can't and don't trust difficult child to any capacity.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">That's familiar! Unfortunately.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">We've considered and even talked to the juvenile center here about getting an officer involved. I hate resorting to that but we're fully prepared to do so if we have to - and I'm afraid we might. He's never had any intense anything as far as therapies or testings. Sure, he's in the hospital but even they're not as intense as what I think he needs - neither does husband.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Always. I'm almost paranoid in that regard - heightened senses whenever difficult child is around. I feel as though I <em>have</em> to be. </span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">This is excellent advice. Thank you!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Transparent, post: 222405, member: 6498"] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2] At this point, they still believe he has anger management problems as a result of the depression. I feel that's [I]part[/I] of his problem, but not the core. While I agree that depression can cause anger issues, I don't feel it's the only problem here and nor do I believe that he's [I]that[/I] depressed. They don't do any extensive testing at the facility he's in right now. They draw a drug test blood on arrival, he sees a counselor daily and a psychiatric 2 or 3 times before he's released. As for his medications, as of right now, nothing has changed. Celexa 10mg at bed time. Of course this could change before his discharge though - but I'm not counting on it. He was set up for a counselor and a psychiatric after he was discharged. Unfortunately, he couldn't keep his composure at school long enough to make it to his first session. Thankfully we have a 24 hour crisis center right here in town if we need it and I can also call the hospital and let them know what he's doing and they can take him straight away if needed. The thing that gets me is he knows right from wrong and he knows what consequences he faces for threatening someone's life - but he does it anyway and with no remorse. Everything is always all about him. It always has been. As of right this minute, there's nothing in place. However, we have an appointment with the principal tomorrow to set up guidelines and consequence/disciplinary actions depending on the situation. The school is very inconsistent. He had threatened the lives of 2 children in 2 days before we were notified the first time. Upon the second threat, he was suspended from school for half a day. *cough* He spent 5 days as an inpatient for that mess and missed Thanksgiving with us. Ten days later he's threatened to shoot a girl and the next day he's hitting another girl in the head. We didn't find out about the threat until 24 hours later when they decided to call and let us know about the hitting. UNACCEPTABLE PRACTICES, in my opinion! I want to know immediately when my son is doing something so despicable. I really don't know of any school that has this type of tolerance level. Especially during times like now. What happens when the big brother or sister or mom or dad come to school and want to "intervene" to keep the child that my son has threatened safe. Know what I mean?? I fear for my son's life. husband is very involved. We're both 100% and work as a team - me usually being the vocal one because he has a hard time with words but we're always on the same page and we discuss everything - meticulously at times. I'm sure you know where I'm coming from. For the first year I was "on the fence" so to speak. I would sit and watch and offer advice over the things I saw and I would try to steer my difficult child in the right direction. Of course I never got any results, so as time went on, I got more and more involved. It was hard for husband to see the things I saw - but he sees things almost identical to how I do now. Once he was able to separate himself and look at things from the outside, it was a big eye opener. I'm so proud of him! This sounds like a good idea. I will bring it up at our family session at the hospital and see where the nearest one is. I'm pretty sure we don't have any relatively close, but that's alright. I'll go anywhere I need to go. Thank you! My husband is adopted so there's limited information available about his side of the tree. I can vouch for him and say that he's one of the most level headed and mild tempered people I've ever met. As for his mother, I don't believe there's anything there - nothing mentioned in the medical history that suggests any mental or mood disorders. As for the mother's side of the tree, I don't even know where to begin. difficult child's mother was depressed and bi polar and had a prescription drug addiction. She was known as a "seeker" at most ER's in their area. After she passed away, my husband found credit card bills where she had purchased drugs from overseas - she had applied for credit in her mother's name and racked up bills in excess of $40,000 to support her habit. That's right - $40,000. I don't have any idea how long she'd been purchasing drugs above and beyond what she was already prescribed but -yeah, major problem. My difficult child would be left in his crib for hours on end because she was too stoned to get off the couch to tend to him. husband was always at work and never knew. The neighbors finally called husband's dad and informed him that they could hear my difficult child crying for hours. difficult child was put in daycare after that so that his mother could stay at home and continue divulging in her habit without having to worry about difficult child. husband says he had no idea things were so bad but of course hindsight is always 20/20 and now that he knows, he said signs were there, but he didn't recognize them. Apparently she wasn't too horribly stoned by the time he got home from work late at night, so he was unaware of just how bad it was during the day. Her mother takes medications for depression as well and she is the most hateful human I've ever met. She uses every member of her family as pawns to get what she wants - and all of her surviving children are on antidepressants. This is a group of people that live in the same house - grandchildren and all - in deplorable conditions with a dog that never goes outside and the kids sleep on the floor. I was in this house 4 years ago and never went back in. The only shower in the home is unusable because all the tile work has fallen into the tub and according to difficult child that still visits once a year, those tiles are still in the tub. Rest assured, difficult child is not allowed to stay the nights in this house and thankfully these people live more than 5 hours away from us. The grandiose used to drive me up the wall! I would tell my husband that difficult child was setting himself up for a lifetime of disappointments with his thinking patterns. It's not that difficult child believes he has the powers of God but more that he's perfect like God. He knows all and sees all and is walking perfection. Hence the "not my fault" and "I didn't do it" excuses we always get. He's justified in everything he does, Know what I mean?? I know he has no empathy and no remorse and he doesn't seem to care that he doesn't have these feelings. But then if he's never felt them, I guess he wouldn't care to begin with. It's creepy sitting next to him sometimes and when he looks at you it's as if he's hollow. It's almost like he has no soul and it pains me to say that. It hurts me for my difficult child and for my husband. I also don't believe that he loves my husband the way that my DS and daughter love me or the way my daughter loves my husband. It's almost like there's something holding him back from feeling love. He knows self love, he's got an abundance of that to the point it's sickening. Beyond normal adolescent conceitedness you know? (Godlike) Ugh! But when it comes to showing love to others, he says "I love you" under his breath and only after husband says it to him or if I say it to him - never offering love in any way - it always seems forced. Sure. We're on the same page with that too. We're willing to do anything/everything we have to do in order to get a proper diagnosis and/or treatment. We know that this will affect our difficult child for the rest of his life and like all of us here, we want them to be as successful as possible and be able to live full (law abiding) lives. Thanks for the book rec'd. I'll pick that one up too. I'm afraid to diagnose him myself. I say CD? because he shows so many signs of it and I used it in my sig to show the extremes of his behavior. I hope he doesn't have it. I hope my gut feelings are wrong - this child doesn't seem human to me. I cry as I type that but it's my instinct, my mothering instinct and my true gut feeling and that scares the hell out of me. He's never left alone with the children and NEVER with my baby daughter. Never. She even sleeps with me and I sleep with one eye and two ears open. Thankfully my DS is twice the size of difficult child and has that edge over him. Granted when difficult child has an episode anything could happen, but I feel somewhat safe in the size aspect. That and they're always within an earshot. Both boys have separate rooms downstairs but I can hear them - especially when they argue or call out. husband and I are in the process of moving our master bedroom downstairs as well to be closer and more involved on a daily AND nightly basis now. I just can't and don't trust difficult child to any capacity. That's familiar! Unfortunately. We've considered and even talked to the juvenile center here about getting an officer involved. I hate resorting to that but we're fully prepared to do so if we have to - and I'm afraid we might. He's never had any intense anything as far as therapies or testings. Sure, he's in the hospital but even they're not as intense as what I think he needs - neither does husband. Always. I'm almost paranoid in that regard - heightened senses whenever difficult child is around. I feel as though I [I]have[/I] to be. This is excellent advice. Thank you! [/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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