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<blockquote data-quote="Otto von Bismark" data-source="post: 490854" data-attributes="member: 12905"><p>There are so many replies I could give to this mom and her African textured hair daughter. If she is a white mom, she likely has limited skills for doing "black" hair, unless she has been practicing for a long time, such as from when the child is a young age. If this is the case, there are a lot of easy tricks to help your kinky-curly girl learn to love and be proud of the hair that God has given her, all of which will help you to not fight about it. It is her crowing glory, after all.</p><p></p><p>There is no way to be humble when I say that I am a white lady and I do very good black hair of all types, and the best thing I do is to elevate the hair care to a loving ritual, where she sits at my feet and I softly detangle, and she learns to receive loving treatment and gentle physical contact. I do not use baby oil or petroleum products on it ever. There are some good systems out there that are cheap.</p><p></p><p>I also would not ever call the child's hair "crazy" unless it is a funny personal word your family uses. I would set a regular day for doing hair. I would make it special -- wash her hair yourself. Learn how to detangle it softly with out yanking or breaking off hairs. Then give her a lovely style that can last most of a week.</p><p>After that week, if she doesn't pull the style out, rewash and detangle and say sweet words about how lovely her hair is. Then set a regular time to do it. With love and patience. Never say "bad hair" crazy hair" "looking crazy in that big hair" etc....</p><p></p><p>I use the time to enjoy the softness of my daughters' hair, and they will hear me murmuring about how beautiful and special it is, how I love having the time to do their hair. </p><p>Then, after you devote time to loving on her hair, see if she still wants to pull it out. If she does, then show her people with locs and see if she wants to start some of those, because it willst art locking if it is just out all the time. Give her the choice.</p><p></p><p>She may just want to go big hair for a while. That's ok. I will write more tomorrow with specific hair tips....there is an easy way to help black/biracial hair curl instead of frizz, and she may like the definition.</p><p></p><p>Another thing is that you set, say Sunday night and Thursdays for doing hair styles. If you do one on Sunday night and she pulls it out that evening, then you can say, "Oh, I guess you want to wear your hair out until Thursday. Okay! let's do that then. And let her do it. It's just hair. Then on Thursday, wash and detangle it and ask her what style she wants. Don't get mad. She is trying to figure out something huge!! Hair!!!!Hair is a big deal. PM me if you have questions and I will send you some great links tomorrow.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Otto von Bismark, post: 490854, member: 12905"] There are so many replies I could give to this mom and her African textured hair daughter. If she is a white mom, she likely has limited skills for doing "black" hair, unless she has been practicing for a long time, such as from when the child is a young age. If this is the case, there are a lot of easy tricks to help your kinky-curly girl learn to love and be proud of the hair that God has given her, all of which will help you to not fight about it. It is her crowing glory, after all. There is no way to be humble when I say that I am a white lady and I do very good black hair of all types, and the best thing I do is to elevate the hair care to a loving ritual, where she sits at my feet and I softly detangle, and she learns to receive loving treatment and gentle physical contact. I do not use baby oil or petroleum products on it ever. There are some good systems out there that are cheap. I also would not ever call the child's hair "crazy" unless it is a funny personal word your family uses. I would set a regular day for doing hair. I would make it special -- wash her hair yourself. Learn how to detangle it softly with out yanking or breaking off hairs. Then give her a lovely style that can last most of a week. After that week, if she doesn't pull the style out, rewash and detangle and say sweet words about how lovely her hair is. Then set a regular time to do it. With love and patience. Never say "bad hair" crazy hair" "looking crazy in that big hair" etc.... I use the time to enjoy the softness of my daughters' hair, and they will hear me murmuring about how beautiful and special it is, how I love having the time to do their hair. Then, after you devote time to loving on her hair, see if she still wants to pull it out. If she does, then show her people with locs and see if she wants to start some of those, because it willst art locking if it is just out all the time. Give her the choice. She may just want to go big hair for a while. That's ok. I will write more tomorrow with specific hair tips....there is an easy way to help black/biracial hair curl instead of frizz, and she may like the definition. Another thing is that you set, say Sunday night and Thursdays for doing hair styles. If you do one on Sunday night and she pulls it out that evening, then you can say, "Oh, I guess you want to wear your hair out until Thursday. Okay! let's do that then. And let her do it. It's just hair. Then on Thursday, wash and detangle it and ask her what style she wants. Don't get mad. She is trying to figure out something huge!! Hair!!!!Hair is a big deal. PM me if you have questions and I will send you some great links tomorrow. [/QUOTE]
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