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New and so confused
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 452049" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>OK, you hooked me with that one.</p><p>I'm going to take your difficult child's side, instead, and give you a peek into <u>one possible scenario</u>.</p><p></p><p>What if he really IS tired?</p><p>1) 10 hours of sleep isn't anywhere close to excessive for a 3 or 4 year old. 12 hours would be relatively normal.</p><p>2) quantity of sleep isn't the same as quality of sleep - and quality is much harder to measure.</p><p>3) there's way more kinds of "tired" than what we think of as tired...</p><p></p><p>How can he be tired?</p><p>- not enough sleep in total or not enough of the right kind of sleep. Either way - huge negative impacts on behavior. And the medical community doesn't pick up on this very fast. There can be medical reasons (thyroid problems, for one), or emotional and other reasons. But whatever the reason, this would be huge.</p><p>- mental tiredness - if he has auditory issues, for example, and is fighting through background noise to try to hear... the brain wears out real fast. At this point, the kid is not physically tired, but is beyond coping. Until you can get evaluations, you won't know if this is a factor - he's too young for LDs to really show up yet, but auditory issues start young! And there can be other sources of mental tiredness.</p><p>- emotional tiredness - sensory issues, for example, or mental health issues, or other stuff... leave the kid feeling raw and out of sorts, and you may have no idea what the triggers are.</p><p>- neuromotor tiredness - if he has motor coordination issues (fine skills at this age will show up in dressing - think buttons, zippers, etc. - self feeding - art work quality; gross skills are things like throwing/catching/running/climbing) he may be using way more brainpower to manage physical activity than his peers... and be running out of brainpower long before the day is done.</p><p>- and yes, you can get all of this and more.</p><p></p><p>Besides getting evaluations done - which is critical, and you should probably consider adding an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation to the mix to look at both sensory issues and motor skills - you may need to start experimenting.</p><p>Major trips are hugely stressful, even for adults with no issues! So are... large family gatherings, formal pictures, and just about anything else that some portion of the adults will get stressed out about... the kid is likely to have problems with. Plan ahead. Limit the number of occurences, the length of time you stay, how busy the day is ahead of time, etc. It won't make you popular with your extended family - but your son's behaviour isn't making you popular anyway. Start reducing motor-skills requirements and see what happens - velcro shoes, oversized T-shirts, shorts/pants with elastic waists that don't need buttons/zippers, etc. Experiment with quiet vs. noisy environments. </p><p></p><p>See if YOU can figure out some of what sets him off. Because the more you know, the more base-line you can give the specialists when you get there - and it helps (usually) the quality of the testing because they have certain issues to target.</p><p></p><p>Its lots of work. But if you can reduce the "tired" in his day, you just might find you have a different kid. (been there done that)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 452049, member: 11791"] OK, you hooked me with that one. I'm going to take your difficult child's side, instead, and give you a peek into [U]one possible scenario[/U]. What if he really IS tired? 1) 10 hours of sleep isn't anywhere close to excessive for a 3 or 4 year old. 12 hours would be relatively normal. 2) quantity of sleep isn't the same as quality of sleep - and quality is much harder to measure. 3) there's way more kinds of "tired" than what we think of as tired... How can he be tired? - not enough sleep in total or not enough of the right kind of sleep. Either way - huge negative impacts on behavior. And the medical community doesn't pick up on this very fast. There can be medical reasons (thyroid problems, for one), or emotional and other reasons. But whatever the reason, this would be huge. - mental tiredness - if he has auditory issues, for example, and is fighting through background noise to try to hear... the brain wears out real fast. At this point, the kid is not physically tired, but is beyond coping. Until you can get evaluations, you won't know if this is a factor - he's too young for LDs to really show up yet, but auditory issues start young! And there can be other sources of mental tiredness. - emotional tiredness - sensory issues, for example, or mental health issues, or other stuff... leave the kid feeling raw and out of sorts, and you may have no idea what the triggers are. - neuromotor tiredness - if he has motor coordination issues (fine skills at this age will show up in dressing - think buttons, zippers, etc. - self feeding - art work quality; gross skills are things like throwing/catching/running/climbing) he may be using way more brainpower to manage physical activity than his peers... and be running out of brainpower long before the day is done. - and yes, you can get all of this and more. Besides getting evaluations done - which is critical, and you should probably consider adding an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation to the mix to look at both sensory issues and motor skills - you may need to start experimenting. Major trips are hugely stressful, even for adults with no issues! So are... large family gatherings, formal pictures, and just about anything else that some portion of the adults will get stressed out about... the kid is likely to have problems with. Plan ahead. Limit the number of occurences, the length of time you stay, how busy the day is ahead of time, etc. It won't make you popular with your extended family - but your son's behaviour isn't making you popular anyway. Start reducing motor-skills requirements and see what happens - velcro shoes, oversized T-shirts, shorts/pants with elastic waists that don't need buttons/zippers, etc. Experiment with quiet vs. noisy environments. See if YOU can figure out some of what sets him off. Because the more you know, the more base-line you can give the specialists when you get there - and it helps (usually) the quality of the testing because they have certain issues to target. Its lots of work. But if you can reduce the "tired" in his day, you just might find you have a different kid. (been there done that) [/QUOTE]
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