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New boyfriend, daughter spirals
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<blockquote data-quote="ksm" data-source="post: 698824" data-attributes="member: 12511"><p>We are the same age, and similar situation. Our troubles started about 15 years ago when our grandchildren ended up in foster care. They were there for one year before we were allowed custody. They were 3,5 and 7 when this started. The oldest, went to his biodad and his current wife. Our two are now 16 and 18. We adopted them 11 years ago. </p><p></p><p>I hope you can get legal custody, plus benefits for the child. I think the showing up and then disappearing act is so hard on children. I am glad you are there for your grandson. </p><p></p><p>Things were great for us, then teen years started, school difficulties, poor choices. It is not easy to raise grandchildren, especially as they age and put all the missing pieces together. Some will have issues because of their history. </p><p></p><p>Plus, if your daughter was doing drugs or drinking alcohol during her pregnancy there is a chance your grandson could have some neurological deficits. Please keep an open eye... I never made the connection at first because both granddaughters were bright, read at an early age, etc. but in the school setting we started to see ADHD type symptoms in the oldest. She had problems making and keeping friends, couldn't hand in homework, even when she completed it.</p><p>Later diagnosed as having a mood disorder.</p><p></p><p>We thought the youngest was our easy child...until she started having anxiety and depression. She has self harmed. Is easily manipulated by others. Now diagnosed as oppositional defiance disorder. Both girls have a huge self esteem issue. They turn the ...if mom couldn't stick around for me, I must not be worth anything...into feeling unworthy of healthy relationship.</p><p></p><p>We always had the kids in therapy, they had started when in foster care, and we went occasionally to touch base. Unfortunately, we didn't find a great psychologist until last year. There were no psychs for kids in our community.</p><p></p><p>I think we are finally making headway. Oh...bio mom is now in jail, awaiting trial for armed robbery. $250,000 bond. At least she is halfway across the country.</p><p></p><p>Good luck. Get legal advice and proceed. KSM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ksm, post: 698824, member: 12511"] We are the same age, and similar situation. Our troubles started about 15 years ago when our grandchildren ended up in foster care. They were there for one year before we were allowed custody. They were 3,5 and 7 when this started. The oldest, went to his biodad and his current wife. Our two are now 16 and 18. We adopted them 11 years ago. I hope you can get legal custody, plus benefits for the child. I think the showing up and then disappearing act is so hard on children. I am glad you are there for your grandson. Things were great for us, then teen years started, school difficulties, poor choices. It is not easy to raise grandchildren, especially as they age and put all the missing pieces together. Some will have issues because of their history. Plus, if your daughter was doing drugs or drinking alcohol during her pregnancy there is a chance your grandson could have some neurological deficits. Please keep an open eye... I never made the connection at first because both granddaughters were bright, read at an early age, etc. but in the school setting we started to see ADHD type symptoms in the oldest. She had problems making and keeping friends, couldn't hand in homework, even when she completed it. Later diagnosed as having a mood disorder. We thought the youngest was our easy child...until she started having anxiety and depression. She has self harmed. Is easily manipulated by others. Now diagnosed as oppositional defiance disorder. Both girls have a huge self esteem issue. They turn the ...if mom couldn't stick around for me, I must not be worth anything...into feeling unworthy of healthy relationship. We always had the kids in therapy, they had started when in foster care, and we went occasionally to touch base. Unfortunately, we didn't find a great psychologist until last year. There were no psychs for kids in our community. I think we are finally making headway. Oh...bio mom is now in jail, awaiting trial for armed robbery. $250,000 bond. At least she is halfway across the country. Good luck. Get legal advice and proceed. KSM [/QUOTE]
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