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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 82347" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>For my daughter, it took moving out and getting a very nasty taste of the real world. She has returned and is basically doing much better. She's not perfect, but she's darn good, especially compared to how she was. I'm not convinced she'll ever be able to manage money, but I can dream.</p><p></p><p>If she doesn't pay rent, she gets evicted -- just like she would in the real world. That doesn't mean she can't come home at a later date, but not until she understands you now have real rules and real consequences.</p><p></p><p>Who pays for her cell phone? I pay for my daughter's. That means it is MY phone that I allow her to use. She doesn't answer when I call, she doesn't have a phone for a few days. If it was her phone, it would go back to the simple courtesy of you answer because you don't know if it is an emergency. If you choose to not answer, I will choose to do nothing for you and that includes giving you a ride anywhere until you treat me with the same consideration I treat you (and, no, I don't believe the phone didn't ring, you didn't hear it or whatever -- there is no excuse).</p><p></p><p>My daughter is over 18 and paying rent. I'm not sure I could enforce a curfew with my daughter. I do ask she come home at the time she tells me she is coming home because I truly won't be able to sleep until I know she is home and safe. If she says that time is 3:00 am, I will sleep until 2:00 am and then be awake until she walks in the door. So long as she gets up at an appropriate time the next day, she can come home when she likes.</p><p></p><p>You may have been inconsistent in the past but that doesn't mean you can't start being consistent. It's not easy and it means putting up with a lot of battles, manipulations and the like. You and your husband will have to agree what is to happen for various transgressions and you will both have to stick to them. It won't be easy, but is doable.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 82347, member: 3626"] For my daughter, it took moving out and getting a very nasty taste of the real world. She has returned and is basically doing much better. She's not perfect, but she's darn good, especially compared to how she was. I'm not convinced she'll ever be able to manage money, but I can dream. If she doesn't pay rent, she gets evicted -- just like she would in the real world. That doesn't mean she can't come home at a later date, but not until she understands you now have real rules and real consequences. Who pays for her cell phone? I pay for my daughter's. That means it is MY phone that I allow her to use. She doesn't answer when I call, she doesn't have a phone for a few days. If it was her phone, it would go back to the simple courtesy of you answer because you don't know if it is an emergency. If you choose to not answer, I will choose to do nothing for you and that includes giving you a ride anywhere until you treat me with the same consideration I treat you (and, no, I don't believe the phone didn't ring, you didn't hear it or whatever -- there is no excuse). My daughter is over 18 and paying rent. I'm not sure I could enforce a curfew with my daughter. I do ask she come home at the time she tells me she is coming home because I truly won't be able to sleep until I know she is home and safe. If she says that time is 3:00 am, I will sleep until 2:00 am and then be awake until she walks in the door. So long as she gets up at an appropriate time the next day, she can come home when she likes. You may have been inconsistent in the past but that doesn't mean you can't start being consistent. It's not easy and it means putting up with a lot of battles, manipulations and the like. You and your husband will have to agree what is to happen for various transgressions and you will both have to stick to them. It won't be easy, but is doable. [/QUOTE]
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