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New here... ADHD/FASD/ODD concerns for 3 year old
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<blockquote data-quote="pepperidge" data-source="post: 331075" data-attributes="member: 2322"><p>Hi </p><p></p><p>I adopted an fASD child at birth. When he was not even babbling at age 1 year, we had him evaluated by speech pathologist, then early intervention at suggestion of pediatrician. He started speech therapy and continued to about 3. His speech is perfectly normal now, but he has definite executive function issues (ADHD) and many behavioral challenges and learning issues, though he pretty normal IQ wise. Emotional regulation is probably the biggest. </p><p></p><p>We have seen many profesisonals over the course of the past decade regarding both of my children. I have not found them by and large to be well versed in FASD issues.</p><p></p><p>One thing to consider is that while you have to be probably a more consistent parent than many (as it sounds like you are) consistency alone will not resolve the problems. In many respects FASD children have large developmental lags in certain areas (mine had no motor skill lags), many in the behavioral realm. All the good parenting in the world isn't going to give these kids the capacity to regulate themselves on the same timetable as other children. That will come over time. You aren't doing anything wrong, you just have a very challenging child and you will no doubt have to adapt to the child--not expect that that the child can adapt to social norms of what is appropriate behavior at a given age. It is really hard because it has all sorts of implications for how you lead your life as you have already found out.</p><p></p><p>I found a phamplet by Diane Malbin on FASD children very useful in getting me to rethink my approach to my fASD child. I got it through the library.</p><p></p><p>I have found that while logical consequences and limited choices are great tools, given my child's capacity to learn from consequences and moderate his impulisve behavior that they don't yield the kind of results that they would with less challenged children. FASD kids are great at knowing what they should do but still not being able to do it. Accepting that has been a very hard struggle for me as a parent. They will go out in the cold 100 or more times without a jacket even if they know they should wear one because the impulse of the moment to go outside trumps any knowledge that they will be cold, if that makes any sense. All that to say, one possibility is that it will take your son an abnormally long time to learn something--it will require a huge huge number of trials.</p><p></p><p>I think getting him evaluated by your county's early intervention team is a great idea. Services I think are free, and it puts you in contact with professionals who will be able to diagnose a range of issues. I would really urge you to do that as soon as possible, and it will be a help when you get to the school years if you need some interventions at the school level.</p><p></p><p></p><p>There is the organic brain damage related to FASD but there may be other issues as well--sometimes birthmothers drink to deal with untreated mental illness etc. so there may be some inherited tendencies towards mental illness or learning issues as well. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there. Take time for you, it will be a long hard road and you will need strength!</p><p></p><p>P.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pepperidge, post: 331075, member: 2322"] Hi I adopted an fASD child at birth. When he was not even babbling at age 1 year, we had him evaluated by speech pathologist, then early intervention at suggestion of pediatrician. He started speech therapy and continued to about 3. His speech is perfectly normal now, but he has definite executive function issues (ADHD) and many behavioral challenges and learning issues, though he pretty normal IQ wise. Emotional regulation is probably the biggest. We have seen many profesisonals over the course of the past decade regarding both of my children. I have not found them by and large to be well versed in FASD issues. One thing to consider is that while you have to be probably a more consistent parent than many (as it sounds like you are) consistency alone will not resolve the problems. In many respects FASD children have large developmental lags in certain areas (mine had no motor skill lags), many in the behavioral realm. All the good parenting in the world isn't going to give these kids the capacity to regulate themselves on the same timetable as other children. That will come over time. You aren't doing anything wrong, you just have a very challenging child and you will no doubt have to adapt to the child--not expect that that the child can adapt to social norms of what is appropriate behavior at a given age. It is really hard because it has all sorts of implications for how you lead your life as you have already found out. I found a phamplet by Diane Malbin on FASD children very useful in getting me to rethink my approach to my fASD child. I got it through the library. I have found that while logical consequences and limited choices are great tools, given my child's capacity to learn from consequences and moderate his impulisve behavior that they don't yield the kind of results that they would with less challenged children. FASD kids are great at knowing what they should do but still not being able to do it. Accepting that has been a very hard struggle for me as a parent. They will go out in the cold 100 or more times without a jacket even if they know they should wear one because the impulse of the moment to go outside trumps any knowledge that they will be cold, if that makes any sense. All that to say, one possibility is that it will take your son an abnormally long time to learn something--it will require a huge huge number of trials. I think getting him evaluated by your county's early intervention team is a great idea. Services I think are free, and it puts you in contact with professionals who will be able to diagnose a range of issues. I would really urge you to do that as soon as possible, and it will be a help when you get to the school years if you need some interventions at the school level. There is the organic brain damage related to FASD but there may be other issues as well--sometimes birthmothers drink to deal with untreated mental illness etc. so there may be some inherited tendencies towards mental illness or learning issues as well. Hang in there. Take time for you, it will be a long hard road and you will need strength! P. [/QUOTE]
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