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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 411195" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am very sorry that she was hurt so badly, and that your other children have all had to deal with all of this also. Please make sure that all of the children get counselling. Be aware that the older child may have abused or tried to abuse other children in the home sexually. It may take months or years for them to feel comfortable telling you about this.</p><p> </p><p>If you give in to the threats of legal charges, financial expenses, removal of other children, it may take MUCH longer to get her into a residential placement. If nothing else, get children's services to say that it is unsafe to have her in the home with the other children - then you CANNOT bring her home. Do NOT tell them that the other kids can go to exes, friends, etc..... </p><p> </p><p>If C stays in the hospital, they will move heaven and earth to get her into a residential placement asap. If she comes home then clearly it is "safe" and "okay" for her to be at home and she really doesn't need residential asap or even right now - and if things get worse then they will re-admit her to the hospital and find a residential placement then.</p><p> </p><p>YES, this kind of lunacy CAN go on - and it does. We experienced it and many others here have also. In our case we wound up having to have the Sheriff come and take our son because he assaulted me. They wouldn't allow me to press charges and did all they could to talk me into letting him come back into the house - including threatening me with charges for not letting him come home. I held my ground because I knew that if he got me cowed he would go for his real target - my daughter. </p><p> </p><p>You have all the other kids to protect. They are NOT going to take all the other kids. If they cannot find a bed for ONE child (C), how are they going to find beds for your 2 children AND your husband's 2 children? Yeah, they cannot find a place for one child, so they are going to take 4 away and have to find beds for them? I seriously doubt it.</p><p> </p><p>These threats are made every time a parent tries to push for residential placement for a child. In the years I have been here I have yet to hear a parent who wasn't threatened with this. OF the parents who refused to take the child home because it would endanger the other children in the family, I haven't seen them go through with what they threaten. It could happen, but I don't think it is very likely.</p><p> </p><p>I do urge you to get an attorney to help with this though. You do have to protect the other children AND yourself and husband. </p><p> </p><p>TimerLady, rlsnights, JJJ and Marg have great insight in this situation. I hope that our advice is helpful. Please know that you are in all our thoughts and prayers - the whole family is. Please keep us informed as to how things are going - we will help as we can!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 411195, member: 1233"] I am very sorry that she was hurt so badly, and that your other children have all had to deal with all of this also. Please make sure that all of the children get counselling. Be aware that the older child may have abused or tried to abuse other children in the home sexually. It may take months or years for them to feel comfortable telling you about this. If you give in to the threats of legal charges, financial expenses, removal of other children, it may take MUCH longer to get her into a residential placement. If nothing else, get children's services to say that it is unsafe to have her in the home with the other children - then you CANNOT bring her home. Do NOT tell them that the other kids can go to exes, friends, etc..... If C stays in the hospital, they will move heaven and earth to get her into a residential placement asap. If she comes home then clearly it is "safe" and "okay" for her to be at home and she really doesn't need residential asap or even right now - and if things get worse then they will re-admit her to the hospital and find a residential placement then. YES, this kind of lunacy CAN go on - and it does. We experienced it and many others here have also. In our case we wound up having to have the Sheriff come and take our son because he assaulted me. They wouldn't allow me to press charges and did all they could to talk me into letting him come back into the house - including threatening me with charges for not letting him come home. I held my ground because I knew that if he got me cowed he would go for his real target - my daughter. You have all the other kids to protect. They are NOT going to take all the other kids. If they cannot find a bed for ONE child (C), how are they going to find beds for your 2 children AND your husband's 2 children? Yeah, they cannot find a place for one child, so they are going to take 4 away and have to find beds for them? I seriously doubt it. These threats are made every time a parent tries to push for residential placement for a child. In the years I have been here I have yet to hear a parent who wasn't threatened with this. OF the parents who refused to take the child home because it would endanger the other children in the family, I haven't seen them go through with what they threaten. It could happen, but I don't think it is very likely. I do urge you to get an attorney to help with this though. You do have to protect the other children AND yourself and husband. TimerLady, rlsnights, JJJ and Marg have great insight in this situation. I hope that our advice is helpful. Please know that you are in all our thoughts and prayers - the whole family is. Please keep us informed as to how things are going - we will help as we can! [/QUOTE]
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