Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
New here, and new grandparent
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 764083" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Dandelion, </p><p>Welcome and so sorry for your need to be here. I’m also sorry for your struggles with your son. You have given him many opportunities to receive help and unfortunately, as for many of us here, that does come down to what his choices are as an adult, and finding a healthy balance for your own life and future.</p><p></p><p>I’m so sorry Dande. It is somewhat similar in my case. Sparse attempts for connection and the “It”s all your fault” declaration. I have come to the conclusion that whether it be mental illness, addiction or a combination, the propensity to project and blame loved ones is designed to keep us second guessing ourselves, fear outcomes, feel obligated to “help” and be engulfed with guilt at mistakes we made along the way. It keeps us in a numb state, easier to manipulate. It sounds like you have navigated through this “fog” and have set boundaries. Good.</p><p></p><p>Oh boy. Grandchildren. I know how this feels, it’s hard incredibly hard. I am sorry for the pain of it. Late hubs and I were deep in the trenches with our three grands, while their parents wrestled with their addiction, it was awful. </p><p></p><p>I’m glad you are receiving help. This will be especially important while processing your emotional health with a grandchild involved.</p><p></p><p>Sometime not knowing is better, other times it’s hard. Please continue to take good care of yourself.</p><p></p><p>I agree whole heartedly. Perhaps in time things will change and you will have more contact? Other than that hope, is it possible to occasionally be able to send gifts for your grand baby? If not, maybe keep a momento box for her, where you can write little notes, if that would ease your pain. I’m so sorry Dandelion that you are going through this. It is tough enough to deal with our adult children going wayward, grands in the mix adds another challenge to working through our feelings.</p><p>Wishing you strength and peace </p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>New Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 764083, member: 19522"] Hi Dandelion, Welcome and so sorry for your need to be here. I’m also sorry for your struggles with your son. You have given him many opportunities to receive help and unfortunately, as for many of us here, that does come down to what his choices are as an adult, and finding a healthy balance for your own life and future. I’m so sorry Dande. It is somewhat similar in my case. Sparse attempts for connection and the “It”s all your fault” declaration. I have come to the conclusion that whether it be mental illness, addiction or a combination, the propensity to project and blame loved ones is designed to keep us second guessing ourselves, fear outcomes, feel obligated to “help” and be engulfed with guilt at mistakes we made along the way. It keeps us in a numb state, easier to manipulate. It sounds like you have navigated through this “fog” and have set boundaries. Good. Oh boy. Grandchildren. I know how this feels, it’s hard incredibly hard. I am sorry for the pain of it. Late hubs and I were deep in the trenches with our three grands, while their parents wrestled with their addiction, it was awful. I’m glad you are receiving help. This will be especially important while processing your emotional health with a grandchild involved. Sometime not knowing is better, other times it’s hard. Please continue to take good care of yourself. I agree whole heartedly. Perhaps in time things will change and you will have more contact? Other than that hope, is it possible to occasionally be able to send gifts for your grand baby? If not, maybe keep a momento box for her, where you can write little notes, if that would ease your pain. I’m so sorry Dandelion that you are going through this. It is tough enough to deal with our adult children going wayward, grands in the mix adds another challenge to working through our feelings. Wishing you strength and peace (((Hugs))) New Leaf [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
New here, and new grandparent
Top