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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 208860" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I fully understand your feelings about his basic disrespect for the military and not wanting to honor that. Oddly, you don't have to. You can respect that he joined and made it to camp. If he graduates from basic, you can respect that he survived that, not an easy accomplishment. And so on. In other respect what he has actually done, not what he will do. His motives are irrelevant, what matters is that he succeeds or fails. Success can be honored. Failure can be put on his shoulders and left there. That truly is one of the beauties of the military -- your past is irrelevant. A milquetoast can become a hero. The town bully can learn teamwork above all else. The punk can become the perfect soldier. The captain of the football team can wash out because he's not really fit. </p><p> </p><p>As to your fears about his learning to use a weapon, the reality is that he could learn that regardless of joining the military. There are too many para-military organizations out there today (think any Aryan group) that happily take the misfits and use them for their own purposes. At least he hasn't gone that route.</p><p> </p><p>What is hard is the waiting until he graduates and gets out of the house. I'm glad to hear he is at least not being violent now. Let's hope he can maintain the facade until he graduates. I'm sorry you are going through this hell again. I think it is worse to have lived with the constant fear and then have it be gone and then be worried that it will again resurface than just living with all the time. HUGS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 208860, member: 3626"] I fully understand your feelings about his basic disrespect for the military and not wanting to honor that. Oddly, you don't have to. You can respect that he joined and made it to camp. If he graduates from basic, you can respect that he survived that, not an easy accomplishment. And so on. In other respect what he has actually done, not what he will do. His motives are irrelevant, what matters is that he succeeds or fails. Success can be honored. Failure can be put on his shoulders and left there. That truly is one of the beauties of the military -- your past is irrelevant. A milquetoast can become a hero. The town bully can learn teamwork above all else. The punk can become the perfect soldier. The captain of the football team can wash out because he's not really fit. As to your fears about his learning to use a weapon, the reality is that he could learn that regardless of joining the military. There are too many para-military organizations out there today (think any Aryan group) that happily take the misfits and use them for their own purposes. At least he hasn't gone that route. What is hard is the waiting until he graduates and gets out of the house. I'm glad to hear he is at least not being violent now. Let's hope he can maintain the facade until he graduates. I'm sorry you are going through this hell again. I think it is worse to have lived with the constant fear and then have it be gone and then be worried that it will again resurface than just living with all the time. HUGS [/QUOTE]
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