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New here -- scared and sad
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 530106" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Hi!</p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry that your situation is so dire. I'm also new here but would still like to offer my welcome. I have read enough of these forums to know there are many wise people here, who have gone through it all and are kind enough to offer their ideas and thoughts. </p><p></p><p>To me it sounds that it would be urgent for you to get your son out of your house. He may be a safety risk for you and lifestyle living with you enables him to live with is not doing him any favours either. I don't know which kind of legal matters and restrictions there may be in your area to do so, but others are probably wiser with that too. I also don't know what kind of resources you may have to help in this. Maybe social workers, domestic violence prevention organizations or diakonia (or what word you use for the social work Churches do?) could help? Or is there possibility for free legal aide for you in the matter? I really don't know what kind of resources there may be available in your area, but I think you should try to find out. While it is very possible, that your son is just being sulky and lashing out with his talk about selling your pain medications, your disability may put you to so prone situation that it is better not even give him a chance to try to bully you to get your medications. </p><p></p><p>Your son is clearly able to work, he will be able to find work (and I'm sure few alcohol related marks don't prevent that) and if he chooses, he is able to keep the work and work his way to the position, where he will be able to go back to school if he chooses and finish it and get better work. He is smart and I assume able bodied. He was able to muddle through several years in different town of yours. He will be able to do it now, if he chooses. Giving him a chance not doing it, is not helping him at all, just teaching him more bad habits. And if he finds muddling through too hard? Well, then he has a motivation to do something to his life. He is smart, that is a very good resource to have and can be taken to use when he decides he has been loitering enough. Until that he should be loitering on his own dime.</p><p></p><p>I also have a smart and talented son who struggles and with whom the school has been a nightmare. He luckily is very focused with his sport and currently doing well enough. But I can very much empathize your situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 530106, member: 14557"] Hi! I'm so sorry that your situation is so dire. I'm also new here but would still like to offer my welcome. I have read enough of these forums to know there are many wise people here, who have gone through it all and are kind enough to offer their ideas and thoughts. To me it sounds that it would be urgent for you to get your son out of your house. He may be a safety risk for you and lifestyle living with you enables him to live with is not doing him any favours either. I don't know which kind of legal matters and restrictions there may be in your area to do so, but others are probably wiser with that too. I also don't know what kind of resources you may have to help in this. Maybe social workers, domestic violence prevention organizations or diakonia (or what word you use for the social work Churches do?) could help? Or is there possibility for free legal aide for you in the matter? I really don't know what kind of resources there may be available in your area, but I think you should try to find out. While it is very possible, that your son is just being sulky and lashing out with his talk about selling your pain medications, your disability may put you to so prone situation that it is better not even give him a chance to try to bully you to get your medications. Your son is clearly able to work, he will be able to find work (and I'm sure few alcohol related marks don't prevent that) and if he chooses, he is able to keep the work and work his way to the position, where he will be able to go back to school if he chooses and finish it and get better work. He is smart and I assume able bodied. He was able to muddle through several years in different town of yours. He will be able to do it now, if he chooses. Giving him a chance not doing it, is not helping him at all, just teaching him more bad habits. And if he finds muddling through too hard? Well, then he has a motivation to do something to his life. He is smart, that is a very good resource to have and can be taken to use when he decides he has been loitering enough. Until that he should be loitering on his own dime. I also have a smart and talented son who struggles and with whom the school has been a nightmare. He luckily is very focused with his sport and currently doing well enough. But I can very much empathize your situation. [/QUOTE]
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