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Substance Abuse
New here-so sad about 19yo son's horrible choices
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<blockquote data-quote="V. Rita Ellis" data-source="post: 528551" data-attributes="member: 14490"><p>Hi There, Hugs and I'm sorry you are going through all this.</p><p></p><p> I can resonate with your pain and sense of helplessness.</p><p></p><p> My daughter has been out a year and before she left I went through so much with her including violence,stealing,lying,arguing,manipulating,tantrums,laziness,partying,even dangerous promiscuity (which I found out about later).</p><p></p><p> Now when she calls it's not to say " Hello " or " I love you mama " It's about some drama in her life,total self absorption blah blah or to play the "blaim game" mind challenge with me .She's even asked me for money! (I'm poor as a pauper. No money to loan!)</p><p></p><p> Just this past week she called me in an argument with her boyfriend (which I later found out she started over something on Facebook) and she was mostly very angry. I told her if she feels unsafe to call 911, than she turned on me taking a vicious verbal stance and at the same time they are hollering at each other! So I told her "Hun! I am sending the police over there to do a safety check on you. I'm worried about you!" than I hung up and called the police. Well, this week has been quiet and peaceful. No drama calls from Miss Drama 101! lol</p><p></p><p> Hun, your son is a man now. Just like my daughter is an adult women. As a few told me here and in my real life "Sweety you've done your job!" He will be ok. If he does not call do not worry about him. The best gift you can give him is to let him stand on his own two feet and be a man and take responsibility for his own words and actions. </p><p></p><p> I am feeling absolutely no guilt in cutting that umbilical cord emotionally with my daughter. That does not mean I don't love her.I love her with all my heart. It just means the lessons she needs to learn now I cannot teach her, only Living and Supporting Her Own Life can teach her these lessons. If she falters she Will get up sooner or later a whole lot stronger.</p><p></p><p> I am glad I found this forum. You will find a lot of support here.We war zone,battle weary worry ladened parents need to love ourselves and heal ourselves now.Lay your burdens down and rest. hugs,Rita</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="V. Rita Ellis, post: 528551, member: 14490"] Hi There, Hugs and I'm sorry you are going through all this. I can resonate with your pain and sense of helplessness. My daughter has been out a year and before she left I went through so much with her including violence,stealing,lying,arguing,manipulating,tantrums,laziness,partying,even dangerous promiscuity (which I found out about later). Now when she calls it's not to say " Hello " or " I love you mama " It's about some drama in her life,total self absorption blah blah or to play the "blaim game" mind challenge with me .She's even asked me for money! (I'm poor as a pauper. No money to loan!) Just this past week she called me in an argument with her boyfriend (which I later found out she started over something on Facebook) and she was mostly very angry. I told her if she feels unsafe to call 911, than she turned on me taking a vicious verbal stance and at the same time they are hollering at each other! So I told her "Hun! I am sending the police over there to do a safety check on you. I'm worried about you!" than I hung up and called the police. Well, this week has been quiet and peaceful. No drama calls from Miss Drama 101! lol Hun, your son is a man now. Just like my daughter is an adult women. As a few told me here and in my real life "Sweety you've done your job!" He will be ok. If he does not call do not worry about him. The best gift you can give him is to let him stand on his own two feet and be a man and take responsibility for his own words and actions. I am feeling absolutely no guilt in cutting that umbilical cord emotionally with my daughter. That does not mean I don't love her.I love her with all my heart. It just means the lessons she needs to learn now I cannot teach her, only Living and Supporting Her Own Life can teach her these lessons. If she falters she Will get up sooner or later a whole lot stronger. I am glad I found this forum. You will find a lot of support here.We war zone,battle weary worry ladened parents need to love ourselves and heal ourselves now.Lay your burdens down and rest. hugs,Rita [/QUOTE]
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