Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
New here with new diagnosis and medical issues
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 103177" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Christine, in your first post you said, "Does anyone else have a child that causes no problems at school, but comes home and turns into a whole different child?"</p><p></p><p>Oh yes. It's surprisingly common. Also the homework battles. Is there any reason for not home-schooling? One HUGE advantage of that, was no homework. Or, ALL homework. But it all gets done during school hours. And feeling sick is no way out, because I get difficult child 3 to work in bed, if necessary. The only way out is if he is so sick he just wants to sleep. Then I let him sleep, because for him to sleep in the daytime, he must be genuinely sick. Goldbricking (aka "plumbopendulitis" or "swinging the lead") does not get him out of schoolwork. We're now beginning to move from "schoolwork during school hours" to outcome-based, by using a reward system - if he gets two units of work done COMPLETELY within one school day (he may continue working on it outside school hours if he wishes) then he gets a reward, which he and I have both agreed on in advance.</p><p></p><p>We stopped punishing. It wasn't working. Instead, natural consequences. And reward. Works for us. So does "Explosive Child".</p><p></p><p>If you're concerned that home schooling is not going to be good for him socially - he needn't miss out socially simply because he's home-schooled. If he finishes all his work by the end of the school day he will be free to have a friend over to play, or to go to an after-school activity, or go visit someone - with no homework to worry about. Very freeing.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 is autistic, which meant educational authorities were VERY resistant to us pulling him out of mainstream - concerns mostly that he would miss out on social contact. What has happened - he's now doing much better socially and a lot of the really nasty social habits, such as hitting other kids, losing his temper and lashing out, shouting at adults - rapidly disappearing. Many of these already gone. Because his work is getting done, he's in charge of his own intellectual stimulation, he doesn't get to play on his ill-health with school staff, he can freely mix with other kids when the work is done, HE gets to control his interactions much more effectively and hence feels far less anxious.</p><p></p><p>If your son is ADHD and on medications, he will work much better if he is given the work while medications are 'on board'. Too often though, we try to get our ADHD kids to do homework when the medications have worn off. No wonder they have trouble! And they've been trying to hold things together at school all day, they more than most kids need to kick up their heels at the end of the school day and not have to do even more work, especially if now they find it much harder to concentrate.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can get some more answers. There are so many factors here, including the functional overlay resulting from his physical health problems for so long. It's not easy. For you or for him.</p><p></p><p>Let us know how you get on.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 103177, member: 1991"] Christine, in your first post you said, "Does anyone else have a child that causes no problems at school, but comes home and turns into a whole different child?" Oh yes. It's surprisingly common. Also the homework battles. Is there any reason for not home-schooling? One HUGE advantage of that, was no homework. Or, ALL homework. But it all gets done during school hours. And feeling sick is no way out, because I get difficult child 3 to work in bed, if necessary. The only way out is if he is so sick he just wants to sleep. Then I let him sleep, because for him to sleep in the daytime, he must be genuinely sick. Goldbricking (aka "plumbopendulitis" or "swinging the lead") does not get him out of schoolwork. We're now beginning to move from "schoolwork during school hours" to outcome-based, by using a reward system - if he gets two units of work done COMPLETELY within one school day (he may continue working on it outside school hours if he wishes) then he gets a reward, which he and I have both agreed on in advance. We stopped punishing. It wasn't working. Instead, natural consequences. And reward. Works for us. So does "Explosive Child". If you're concerned that home schooling is not going to be good for him socially - he needn't miss out socially simply because he's home-schooled. If he finishes all his work by the end of the school day he will be free to have a friend over to play, or to go to an after-school activity, or go visit someone - with no homework to worry about. Very freeing. difficult child 3 is autistic, which meant educational authorities were VERY resistant to us pulling him out of mainstream - concerns mostly that he would miss out on social contact. What has happened - he's now doing much better socially and a lot of the really nasty social habits, such as hitting other kids, losing his temper and lashing out, shouting at adults - rapidly disappearing. Many of these already gone. Because his work is getting done, he's in charge of his own intellectual stimulation, he doesn't get to play on his ill-health with school staff, he can freely mix with other kids when the work is done, HE gets to control his interactions much more effectively and hence feels far less anxious. If your son is ADHD and on medications, he will work much better if he is given the work while medications are 'on board'. Too often though, we try to get our ADHD kids to do homework when the medications have worn off. No wonder they have trouble! And they've been trying to hold things together at school all day, they more than most kids need to kick up their heels at the end of the school day and not have to do even more work, especially if now they find it much harder to concentrate. I hope you can get some more answers. There are so many factors here, including the functional overlay resulting from his physical health problems for so long. It's not easy. For you or for him. Let us know how you get on. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
New here with new diagnosis and medical issues
Top