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New here, would appreciate commiseration :)
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<blockquote data-quote="Ropefree" data-source="post: 216804" data-attributes="member: 6271"><p>Jinxy: Welcome aboard!</p><p></p><p>Let me just start with the intellegence of this child. Her strengths, like with all of us,are unweildly as they are the bright spots. Especially when it is not ever the same for two people. We are each unique.</p><p>Also the critical issues that surround the natural maturity that is that doorway to</p><p>sexuality: reproductive health.</p><p>When I was a teen the roevwade desition was forged, the feminist movement was loud and in the news and the sexual lives of a woman were just beginning to belong to a female as a right to her own life. And I volunteered for planned parenthood where I conducted health histories for the incoming clients.</p><p>As an adult now, with my own teen, who I feel comfortable knows about the reproductive healthcare available I am stymied by the intrusion of the pimps and prostitutes that are making bank and solicit on tv, in our homes on this technowonder and shade the media with tantilizing ideas that have nothing to do with care of ones heart and soul. Being studgy is just a wonder of age, I guess.</p><p>The wisdom of consent age and the incremental responciblity that youth aquire at 16,18,21 show that we do know as society and have known for a very long time what is now evidenced in science more readily through imagining and testing:</p><p>the brain is still developing and the ability to reason, to consider consequenses and to plan are not easily achieved and they are not givens and these do not just errupt fully formed because one can achieve reproduction success or are a certain age.</p><p>in general the benfits of pursuing therapy and seeking the testing with psyciatrists and phscologists are to have the information from someone who has taken and intrest and has some advise: good or bad.</p><p>These are new fields and they do not have all the answers and I think it behooves us to be engaged with these practises so that they do evolve and improve for the future.</p><p>Having someone working with your family that can be called apon in times of great stress for an objective view helps. </p><p>Whereas the daughters reflection to her peirs may annoy you on the other hand she is acknnowleging to them her status as dependant "I have to go my parents make me" which is also a tool that is in her arsenal for other issues. "my parents would kill me" *in the terrorist venecular of the bygone era* is also a defense for a child and teen that their peers understand.</p><p>Because there are so many teens and even younger who are not in homes and families that give a wit/ even have wits to give...for youth who do it is something</p><p>that is envied on either side of the fence. She may envy the lack of accountablility in some families, as some of her freinds may envy the structure and care in her own.</p><p>I think that as troubling as the challenges our children bring to us as parents really are and how unprepared we may feel to streach to the degree we do and how begrudgingly we muster our inner Commander to demand at the utter displeasure of our youth compliance to the rules and needs in the relationships in the family (and that includes chores, calling home, asking to go oout and saying whom one is going to be with and where....so you can call on the parents)</p><p>Oh why? Well, I need to know when to report you are missing should that happen.</p><p>What if your car goes off the road? If I knew you were due back and you were at a specific location we can look along that road first. Maybe see where your car went over. Pull you out while you are still with us. And if you should get killed the first time I have spoken to your freinds parents will not be in their saddest hour of greif"</p><p>And this episode with the boyfreind...good for you!</p><p>The girlfreind in this child of mines llife was the one who was intiating the oppertunities to go off radar and when I did contact the parents they were just getting controls in order. The two are still seeing one another and under supervisiiion.</p><p>My ephany was that there is similarity between this developemental stage and the others that preceeded. As parents we scramble at each one. Starting with rolling over...and after that putting things in their mouths...and then they loose that clingy thing and venture out of view the first time. They discover they can walk to a neighbors on their own.</p><p>These challenges arise in moments of complacensy in my house. When it seems like I have it all in order. </p><p>NOT. next stage..new muttle to figure out.</p><p>Glade you found this spot. Hope it helps you,too. </p><p>I think one thing is the problems are so varied and so engaging that it shifts our attention, gives new ideas, and lets us bllur our focus so our creative intelegence can devise without our worrisome preoccupation getting in our way.</p><p>Bon voyage!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ropefree, post: 216804, member: 6271"] Jinxy: Welcome aboard! Let me just start with the intellegence of this child. Her strengths, like with all of us,are unweildly as they are the bright spots. Especially when it is not ever the same for two people. We are each unique. Also the critical issues that surround the natural maturity that is that doorway to sexuality: reproductive health. When I was a teen the roevwade desition was forged, the feminist movement was loud and in the news and the sexual lives of a woman were just beginning to belong to a female as a right to her own life. And I volunteered for planned parenthood where I conducted health histories for the incoming clients. As an adult now, with my own teen, who I feel comfortable knows about the reproductive healthcare available I am stymied by the intrusion of the pimps and prostitutes that are making bank and solicit on tv, in our homes on this technowonder and shade the media with tantilizing ideas that have nothing to do with care of ones heart and soul. Being studgy is just a wonder of age, I guess. The wisdom of consent age and the incremental responciblity that youth aquire at 16,18,21 show that we do know as society and have known for a very long time what is now evidenced in science more readily through imagining and testing: the brain is still developing and the ability to reason, to consider consequenses and to plan are not easily achieved and they are not givens and these do not just errupt fully formed because one can achieve reproduction success or are a certain age. in general the benfits of pursuing therapy and seeking the testing with psyciatrists and phscologists are to have the information from someone who has taken and intrest and has some advise: good or bad. These are new fields and they do not have all the answers and I think it behooves us to be engaged with these practises so that they do evolve and improve for the future. Having someone working with your family that can be called apon in times of great stress for an objective view helps. Whereas the daughters reflection to her peirs may annoy you on the other hand she is acknnowleging to them her status as dependant "I have to go my parents make me" which is also a tool that is in her arsenal for other issues. "my parents would kill me" *in the terrorist venecular of the bygone era* is also a defense for a child and teen that their peers understand. Because there are so many teens and even younger who are not in homes and families that give a wit/ even have wits to give...for youth who do it is something that is envied on either side of the fence. She may envy the lack of accountablility in some families, as some of her freinds may envy the structure and care in her own. I think that as troubling as the challenges our children bring to us as parents really are and how unprepared we may feel to streach to the degree we do and how begrudgingly we muster our inner Commander to demand at the utter displeasure of our youth compliance to the rules and needs in the relationships in the family (and that includes chores, calling home, asking to go oout and saying whom one is going to be with and where....so you can call on the parents) Oh why? Well, I need to know when to report you are missing should that happen. What if your car goes off the road? If I knew you were due back and you were at a specific location we can look along that road first. Maybe see where your car went over. Pull you out while you are still with us. And if you should get killed the first time I have spoken to your freinds parents will not be in their saddest hour of greif" And this episode with the boyfreind...good for you! The girlfreind in this child of mines llife was the one who was intiating the oppertunities to go off radar and when I did contact the parents they were just getting controls in order. The two are still seeing one another and under supervisiiion. My ephany was that there is similarity between this developemental stage and the others that preceeded. As parents we scramble at each one. Starting with rolling over...and after that putting things in their mouths...and then they loose that clingy thing and venture out of view the first time. They discover they can walk to a neighbors on their own. These challenges arise in moments of complacensy in my house. When it seems like I have it all in order. NOT. next stage..new muttle to figure out. Glade you found this spot. Hope it helps you,too. I think one thing is the problems are so varied and so engaging that it shifts our attention, gives new ideas, and lets us bllur our focus so our creative intelegence can devise without our worrisome preoccupation getting in our way. Bon voyage! [/QUOTE]
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