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new here... y is my daughter like this? Social skills are off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 346493" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My son had trouble learning in a large classroom so we agreed to put him into a Special Education class where he got a lot of one-on-one attention. I can not speak for all parents of Aspies, but this saved his life. He was the "smartest" in the class and loved to help with the less functional kids, so his social skills and self-esteem soared. At the same time, for classes other than reading and math he went to regular classes with an aide who sat in the back of the class. If he needed her, he learned to ask for her help. She alone taught him to take notes and look at the big picture rather than obsessing over little things that other kids know to disregard. He has a 3.45 grade point average now at sixteen, but his early school IQ asessments said his IQ was 75. I don't think so. I agree not to trust any school assessments. Schools are notorious for wrong diagnoses. Sadly, they don't hire the brightest and best to assess our kids. </p><p></p><p>However, once she is privately assessed, insist on the right kind of school help. They HAVE to help you, but you may have to get your armor on and FIGHT for the right interventions. First off, you need to find a good school. If your school can't adequately help your daughter, they HAVE to send her to one that has appropriate help. We looked around and picked a great school. My son was <u><em><strong>not </strong></em></u>ridiculed or teased at school, which is a miracle. We adopted him and not only was he socially different, he is African-American in a school that mostly is white. But t he kids at this school grow up with the "differently wired" kids in their schools and classes and are really nice to them. BUT...L. is no longer a Special Education kid. He was mainstreamed last year and doesn't have an aide anymore. He still has his 3.45 average and sits at a lunch table with a mixture of high achieving "geeks" (as they proudly call themselves) and a few of the higher functioning kids from his Special Education class. He has gone to homecoming twice! And prom! A girl asked HIM. </p><p></p><p>A behavioral therapist, unless it is somebody who is specializing in Aspergers/autism, is not in my opinion going to be any help for your daughter. These kids are not "bad" on purpose nor mentally ill.Their brains are wired differently and they need to be textbook taught things that other kids "get" just from observation, such as social skills. My son as in speech too, although he has a perfect, even precocious vocabulary. The thing is, he doesn't or didn't understand how to converse...give and take. He would either monologue about his obsessive interest or just answer "yes" or "no". He didn't understand how to express an abstract thought. His thinking is concrete,which is the norm for these kids. They also tend to be very socially immature. My son is catching up! He's in driver's ed now! by the way, his teachers LOVE him. Since he has been in interventions and he knows we understand his differences, he has been a model kid, sweet as sugar, polite, kind...actually everyone loves my son.</p><p></p><p>My son is still different. My daughter (13 and typical) and me and hub laugh because he talks to his game systems and when he's watching TV. He likes to sing (and is quite gifted) and does that in his room. But he controls those odd behaviors and does not act "different" in public. He has learned when he can act autistic-like and when he can't. I really do give the credit to first off himself...he is a very hard worker...and secondly to all his teachers and helpers. He wouldn't be the child he is today without their help and guidance. I give hub, me and daughter some kudos too! We didn't punish him for being different. We accept him for who he is and his future is much MUCH brighter than we'd ever though. We do not know if he will attain 100% independence, but he could. Or he could live alone with just some worker checking in on him every so often. We plan on sending him slowly to college, maybe one or two classes at a time because he gets overwhelmed.</p><p></p><p>Well, I think I rattled on too long. If you live in the US, most of the help you get comes from the community and school. An autism therapist is a dream-come-true. There is a lot you can read about and self-learn as well. I</p><p></p><p>Beware the ADHD/ODD diagnosis that so many Aspies get. Treating an Aspie for ADHD and, more sadly, ODD will only make the child feel "bad" and can cause all sorts of other problems.</p><p></p><p>I highly, highly recommend your seeing a highly recommended neuropsychologist (they are NOT all created equally). Call your closest Autism Society for a recommendation. This is what we did. It changed the life of a sweet boy who was frustrated, confused, and very sad. Please take care and update us. We always like to hear what choices parents make and how it's going <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 346493, member: 1550"] My son had trouble learning in a large classroom so we agreed to put him into a Special Education class where he got a lot of one-on-one attention. I can not speak for all parents of Aspies, but this saved his life. He was the "smartest" in the class and loved to help with the less functional kids, so his social skills and self-esteem soared. At the same time, for classes other than reading and math he went to regular classes with an aide who sat in the back of the class. If he needed her, he learned to ask for her help. She alone taught him to take notes and look at the big picture rather than obsessing over little things that other kids know to disregard. He has a 3.45 grade point average now at sixteen, but his early school IQ asessments said his IQ was 75. I don't think so. I agree not to trust any school assessments. Schools are notorious for wrong diagnoses. Sadly, they don't hire the brightest and best to assess our kids. However, once she is privately assessed, insist on the right kind of school help. They HAVE to help you, but you may have to get your armor on and FIGHT for the right interventions. First off, you need to find a good school. If your school can't adequately help your daughter, they HAVE to send her to one that has appropriate help. We looked around and picked a great school. My son was [U][I][B]not [/B][/I][/U]ridiculed or teased at school, which is a miracle. We adopted him and not only was he socially different, he is African-American in a school that mostly is white. But t he kids at this school grow up with the "differently wired" kids in their schools and classes and are really nice to them. BUT...L. is no longer a Special Education kid. He was mainstreamed last year and doesn't have an aide anymore. He still has his 3.45 average and sits at a lunch table with a mixture of high achieving "geeks" (as they proudly call themselves) and a few of the higher functioning kids from his Special Education class. He has gone to homecoming twice! And prom! A girl asked HIM. A behavioral therapist, unless it is somebody who is specializing in Aspergers/autism, is not in my opinion going to be any help for your daughter. These kids are not "bad" on purpose nor mentally ill.Their brains are wired differently and they need to be textbook taught things that other kids "get" just from observation, such as social skills. My son as in speech too, although he has a perfect, even precocious vocabulary. The thing is, he doesn't or didn't understand how to converse...give and take. He would either monologue about his obsessive interest or just answer "yes" or "no". He didn't understand how to express an abstract thought. His thinking is concrete,which is the norm for these kids. They also tend to be very socially immature. My son is catching up! He's in driver's ed now! by the way, his teachers LOVE him. Since he has been in interventions and he knows we understand his differences, he has been a model kid, sweet as sugar, polite, kind...actually everyone loves my son. My son is still different. My daughter (13 and typical) and me and hub laugh because he talks to his game systems and when he's watching TV. He likes to sing (and is quite gifted) and does that in his room. But he controls those odd behaviors and does not act "different" in public. He has learned when he can act autistic-like and when he can't. I really do give the credit to first off himself...he is a very hard worker...and secondly to all his teachers and helpers. He wouldn't be the child he is today without their help and guidance. I give hub, me and daughter some kudos too! We didn't punish him for being different. We accept him for who he is and his future is much MUCH brighter than we'd ever though. We do not know if he will attain 100% independence, but he could. Or he could live alone with just some worker checking in on him every so often. We plan on sending him slowly to college, maybe one or two classes at a time because he gets overwhelmed. Well, I think I rattled on too long. If you live in the US, most of the help you get comes from the community and school. An autism therapist is a dream-come-true. There is a lot you can read about and self-learn as well. I Beware the ADHD/ODD diagnosis that so many Aspies get. Treating an Aspie for ADHD and, more sadly, ODD will only make the child feel "bad" and can cause all sorts of other problems. I highly, highly recommend your seeing a highly recommended neuropsychologist (they are NOT all created equally). Call your closest Autism Society for a recommendation. This is what we did. It changed the life of a sweet boy who was frustrated, confused, and very sad. Please take care and update us. We always like to hear what choices parents make and how it's going ;) [/QUOTE]
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new here... y is my daughter like this? Social skills are off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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