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<blockquote data-quote="RPS" data-source="post: 380152"><p>Oh, Nancy, I so wish I had my ducks in a row. I feel like I have NO idea which way to turn. I also feel soooo naive because I didn't spot the symptoms of difficult child using sooner.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for the info on the inpatient v. outpatient programs and your experiences. Right now, it seems like difficult child doesn't have a care in the world and doesn't see that this is a serious issue, which leads me to believe that he doesn't think he needs help. </p><p></p><p>His dad and SM carry his insurance, so I'm not sure what the coverage is, but I think it's safe to assume that inpatient wouldn't be totally covered. I hate to say this, but I don't think either family can afford to pay for the inpatient treatment for someone who thinks he doesn't have a problem. It would be like throwing money away.</p><p></p><p>It *kills* me that drugs and drinking are so prevalent in this area. I know, another totally naive moment. Of course drugs are prevalent! If you have kids that have some spending money and are bored, drugs could be an easy choice. I know that substance abuse issues target all walks of life, I really do. I had just hoped they wouldn't land in my living room. </p><p></p><p>I think we're all prepared to do whatever we have to in order to keep difficult child on the straight and narrow, as much as possible. However, like the inpatient v. outpatient thing, I'm seeing that his dad may not be as fired up as he was when he first found out on Saturday. Yesterday, SO and I had an appointment (for counseling, wouldn't you know it!) and we could not be here when difficult child got off the bus. ExH said he'd pick the kids up at the bus stop at 2. When we arrived home at almost 3, both difficult child and oldest daughter were here. ExH didn't call or email to let me know he would NOT be picking them up or let me know later why he didn't. That's frustrating.</p><p></p><p>Also, I sent an email to my oldest to let him know that I didn't appreciate his not telling me that difficult child was using and had escalated to booze and pills, and that it was inappropriate for him to be swapping stories about getting high with difficult child. Oldest is 21 so he can legally drink all he wants, but I think he has some responsibility not to encourage illegal behavior with difficult child. Oldest wrote back, blasting me, saying that it wasn't his job to police difficult child and if I didn't see that difficult child was using that was my fault. Oldest assumed when difficult child was posting stuff on FaceBook about drinking/drugs that I had GIVEN UP. The FB account where difficult child was doing this is one he set up to use with his friends and he has a second one that I'm friends with, so there was no way for me to see what he was posting. Plus, I didn't give up on Oldest during the 3 years when he was in juvie, so why would I give up on a 15 year old that's just starting to have problems? I wanted to write this back to Oldest, but I didn't. He ended his email with "If you can't say anything positive, GTFO" so I have had enough. I deleted him from my friends list and will block him if he contacts me again. I know that sounds harsh, but I have tolerated this kind of stuff from him for way too long.</p><p></p><p>difficult child has his first counseling session on Thursday and his dad and I are to attend. I hope that this will do some good.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RPS, post: 380152"] Oh, Nancy, I so wish I had my ducks in a row. I feel like I have NO idea which way to turn. I also feel soooo naive because I didn't spot the symptoms of difficult child using sooner. Thank you for the info on the inpatient v. outpatient programs and your experiences. Right now, it seems like difficult child doesn't have a care in the world and doesn't see that this is a serious issue, which leads me to believe that he doesn't think he needs help. His dad and SM carry his insurance, so I'm not sure what the coverage is, but I think it's safe to assume that inpatient wouldn't be totally covered. I hate to say this, but I don't think either family can afford to pay for the inpatient treatment for someone who thinks he doesn't have a problem. It would be like throwing money away. It *kills* me that drugs and drinking are so prevalent in this area. I know, another totally naive moment. Of course drugs are prevalent! If you have kids that have some spending money and are bored, drugs could be an easy choice. I know that substance abuse issues target all walks of life, I really do. I had just hoped they wouldn't land in my living room. I think we're all prepared to do whatever we have to in order to keep difficult child on the straight and narrow, as much as possible. However, like the inpatient v. outpatient thing, I'm seeing that his dad may not be as fired up as he was when he first found out on Saturday. Yesterday, SO and I had an appointment (for counseling, wouldn't you know it!) and we could not be here when difficult child got off the bus. ExH said he'd pick the kids up at the bus stop at 2. When we arrived home at almost 3, both difficult child and oldest daughter were here. ExH didn't call or email to let me know he would NOT be picking them up or let me know later why he didn't. That's frustrating. Also, I sent an email to my oldest to let him know that I didn't appreciate his not telling me that difficult child was using and had escalated to booze and pills, and that it was inappropriate for him to be swapping stories about getting high with difficult child. Oldest is 21 so he can legally drink all he wants, but I think he has some responsibility not to encourage illegal behavior with difficult child. Oldest wrote back, blasting me, saying that it wasn't his job to police difficult child and if I didn't see that difficult child was using that was my fault. Oldest assumed when difficult child was posting stuff on FaceBook about drinking/drugs that I had GIVEN UP. The FB account where difficult child was doing this is one he set up to use with his friends and he has a second one that I'm friends with, so there was no way for me to see what he was posting. Plus, I didn't give up on Oldest during the 3 years when he was in juvie, so why would I give up on a 15 year old that's just starting to have problems? I wanted to write this back to Oldest, but I didn't. He ended his email with "If you can't say anything positive, GTFO" so I have had enough. I deleted him from my friends list and will block him if he contacts me again. I know that sounds harsh, but I have tolerated this kind of stuff from him for way too long. difficult child has his first counseling session on Thursday and his dad and I are to attend. I hope that this will do some good. [/QUOTE]
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