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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 380427" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>It may not be the right time for inpatient treatment. He may have to hit a lot lower before he is ready to accept that he has a problem. If his use continues or escalates he will eventually get into legal trouble. That may be what it will take to get him into treatment. You can ask the court to order him into treatment if he doesn't go willingly. I did mention earlier that in my difficult child's program many of the court ordered patients don't do well because they still refuse to accept that they have a problem. But that doesn't mean it won't work for him. It would be better to have him go willingly on his own (with his family's support). But he's not ready for that yet.</p><p></p><p>The financial part was difficult for us. We had spent so much on trying to get help for her over the years. But most treatment centers are very willing to work with you. They also know how to squeak every penny out of your insurance company they can. We put some of it on a credit card and scarped together what we could from other funds. There are also loans you can take out and while most people don't want to do that it is a possibility. Most centers charge a lower rate after the first 30 days. But I agree that it is a waste of money unless it is the right time. You will know when that time is.</p><p></p><p>I have a nephew who does the same thing as your oldest. When we have family get togethers he takes difficult child aside and jokes about drinking binges and such. I have asked him to stop doing that and I try to have very little contact with him. Coincidently he is also an alcoholic but he is in denial. I don't know how we keep bad influences away from our difficult child's, especially when they are family. </p><p></p><p>I am always amazed at how some parents enable their kids. I have a neighbor whose son is both smoking pot and drinking. He is 17 and was recently arrested for having drug paraphernalia in his car. She was angry that the police searched his car without cause. He was ordered into the diversion program and must submit to random drug tests. They called for a drug test one day and he was so worried that he drank huge amounts of water, and his mother believed that it was because he was at another neighbor's house whose son smoked pot and was afraid he got in his system second hand. She even told me that if they ordered a drug test before one of his high school swim meets she wouldn't make him go because he doesn't need that pressure before a meet. She is more concerned about him getting a college scholarship than she is about his drug use. This stuff makes me crazy and it's no wonder our kids think we are the ones who are nuts because everyone does it.</p><p></p><p>I hope the counseling is helpful. Like I said before it is all a necessary step and while it may not stop the use it will lead to where he can get the help he needs. Change doesn't happen until the pain of staying the same is too much and right now he doesn't feel that pain.</p><p></p><p>I believe you will make it. You have good support and you have your eyes wide open. </p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 380427, member: 59"] It may not be the right time for inpatient treatment. He may have to hit a lot lower before he is ready to accept that he has a problem. If his use continues or escalates he will eventually get into legal trouble. That may be what it will take to get him into treatment. You can ask the court to order him into treatment if he doesn't go willingly. I did mention earlier that in my difficult child's program many of the court ordered patients don't do well because they still refuse to accept that they have a problem. But that doesn't mean it won't work for him. It would be better to have him go willingly on his own (with his family's support). But he's not ready for that yet. The financial part was difficult for us. We had spent so much on trying to get help for her over the years. But most treatment centers are very willing to work with you. They also know how to squeak every penny out of your insurance company they can. We put some of it on a credit card and scarped together what we could from other funds. There are also loans you can take out and while most people don't want to do that it is a possibility. Most centers charge a lower rate after the first 30 days. But I agree that it is a waste of money unless it is the right time. You will know when that time is. I have a nephew who does the same thing as your oldest. When we have family get togethers he takes difficult child aside and jokes about drinking binges and such. I have asked him to stop doing that and I try to have very little contact with him. Coincidently he is also an alcoholic but he is in denial. I don't know how we keep bad influences away from our difficult child's, especially when they are family. I am always amazed at how some parents enable their kids. I have a neighbor whose son is both smoking pot and drinking. He is 17 and was recently arrested for having drug paraphernalia in his car. She was angry that the police searched his car without cause. He was ordered into the diversion program and must submit to random drug tests. They called for a drug test one day and he was so worried that he drank huge amounts of water, and his mother believed that it was because he was at another neighbor's house whose son smoked pot and was afraid he got in his system second hand. She even told me that if they ordered a drug test before one of his high school swim meets she wouldn't make him go because he doesn't need that pressure before a meet. She is more concerned about him getting a college scholarship than she is about his drug use. This stuff makes me crazy and it's no wonder our kids think we are the ones who are nuts because everyone does it. I hope the counseling is helpful. Like I said before it is all a necessary step and while it may not stop the use it will lead to where he can get the help he needs. Change doesn't happen until the pain of staying the same is too much and right now he doesn't feel that pain. I believe you will make it. You have good support and you have your eyes wide open. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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