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<blockquote data-quote="4sumrzn" data-source="post: 120065" data-attributes="member: 4133"><p>Hi Wendi!</p><p> First of all.....you are correct....it is NOT healthy to blame yourself. I know, easier said than done & I stumble quite frequently...putting the blame on myself. I suppose it is only natural to feel that way when we are speaking of children....young children that have these issues that are "out of control", we tend to blame ourselves for "making" them that way. We must continue to remind ourselves that we are doing EVERYTHING we can to help them, not harm them or make the situation worse....so blaming ourselves is not the answer.</p><p></p><p> The question about age of diagnosis....my difficult child was 5 when she got the quick diagnosis of ODD. Some of the things you mentioned are the same with her...she has ALWAYS done the opposite, it doesn't matter what it is. We became way concerned when it turned into things that would harm her or someone else (runs in front of moving cars, touches fire, grabs sharp objects, I could go on). If it is suppose to be open, she will close it....on, she'll turn it off...I could go on here too, this is a daily non-stop thing with her. Defiant in all situation???? Well, honestly, I have found with my difficult child that it normally ends up that way after time. Some places are a bit better than others though along with some people are treated different than others.</p><p></p><p> Hurting you psychologically....we have always said that our difficult child wakes up with that mission of the day....to make sure everyone she comes in contact with is miserable! She will irritate, bother, push & push until she gets the loudest or most negative response from that person. It has often been to the tune of hurting people also & she acts as if it's enjoyment for her. </p><p></p><p> What to do??? I'm not sure I can give advice on that, knowing that I am in the same boat. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone & PLEASE take the blame off of yourself. You have your hands full & should be patting yourself on the back for all you do & have done for your children to help them!!!!!! I'm sure others will be along to offer some great advice for you!</p><p></p><p>{{{hugs}}} & hang in there!!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="4sumrzn, post: 120065, member: 4133"] Hi Wendi! First of all.....you are correct....it is NOT healthy to blame yourself. I know, easier said than done & I stumble quite frequently...putting the blame on myself. I suppose it is only natural to feel that way when we are speaking of children....young children that have these issues that are "out of control", we tend to blame ourselves for "making" them that way. We must continue to remind ourselves that we are doing EVERYTHING we can to help them, not harm them or make the situation worse....so blaming ourselves is not the answer. The question about age of diagnosis....my difficult child was 5 when she got the quick diagnosis of ODD. Some of the things you mentioned are the same with her...she has ALWAYS done the opposite, it doesn't matter what it is. We became way concerned when it turned into things that would harm her or someone else (runs in front of moving cars, touches fire, grabs sharp objects, I could go on). If it is suppose to be open, she will close it....on, she'll turn it off...I could go on here too, this is a daily non-stop thing with her. Defiant in all situation???? Well, honestly, I have found with my difficult child that it normally ends up that way after time. Some places are a bit better than others though along with some people are treated different than others. Hurting you psychologically....we have always said that our difficult child wakes up with that mission of the day....to make sure everyone she comes in contact with is miserable! She will irritate, bother, push & push until she gets the loudest or most negative response from that person. It has often been to the tune of hurting people also & she acts as if it's enjoyment for her. What to do??? I'm not sure I can give advice on that, knowing that I am in the same boat. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone & PLEASE take the blame off of yourself. You have your hands full & should be patting yourself on the back for all you do & have done for your children to help them!!!!!! I'm sure others will be along to offer some great advice for you! {{{hugs}}} & hang in there!!!!! [/QUOTE]
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