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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 121445" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Lisa is right about getting things checked out.</p><p></p><p>My sister's second son stopped breathing an unknown number of times in his first few days. Back in those days they kept the babies in the hospital nursery and only brought them to the mothers at feeding time, although the mothers could go see their children at any time. My sister happened to be in the nursery when she noticed her baby boy wasn't breathing, and shook him. He started breathing again, he also did it to her later while she had him with her for feeding. The nurse commented about, "he did it again," so my sister always wondered how much damage could have occurred if he stopped breathing another time when nobody was watching.</p><p></p><p>He was a slow learner, seemed OK but didn't seem to know his own strength, was a bit of a "Paul Bunyan" (easiest way to describe him - very strong, grew fast, we had to adapt to his size and strength).</p><p>My sister took a lot of convincing to get him tested - they finally agreed that he had some mild spasticity from the early oxygen deprivation but "he will grow out of it by the time he starts school". He got through school without support, but he presents as Asperger's, with no physical issues noticeable. Still dangerously strong - a hug from him feels like it's breaking my ribs.</p><p></p><p>Checking things out is always worth doing. Keeping an open mind on what you've been told is also worth doing - although the child doesn't change, the diagnosis can simply because some things are tricky to diagnose and medicine is a very inexact science.</p><p></p><p>And if you don't want to publicise what you find - it's your choice. You can choose to tell the school/family/friends, or not. later on the schools might want to test him - then it's under their control. But if you test him and do not sign a blanket waiver that gives the school full access to medical records but instead feed information to the school as and when you choose, you remain in control.</p><p></p><p>Neonatal brain damage - yes, it's a concern, but it might not have been that bad. But if you KNOW, you can help him recover. The younger a person is when they get brain damage, the better their chances of completely compensating for it later on.</p><p></p><p>But as I said, his problems could be independent of his traumatic birth. Or they could be related. The issue is - exactly what is he dealing with, and how can you help him adapt and learn to manage?</p><p></p><p>Our aims as parents - to see our child grow up to reach their potential, to be happy, productive and fulfilled members of society, living independently from us. Our aim is for our children to grow up and not need us any more. Sometimes we lose sight of this! But to help a child when he is very young - it is the best start you can give him.</p><p></p><p>We found with our kids that we've often had to do things very differently, to give them what they seemed to need. Sometimes their development seemed paradoxical (like learning to run before you can crawl) so to a large extent, we've been raising our kids by instinct and learning as we go. It's been challenging, exciting, stimulating and not a just little bit scary.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 121445, member: 1991"] Lisa is right about getting things checked out. My sister's second son stopped breathing an unknown number of times in his first few days. Back in those days they kept the babies in the hospital nursery and only brought them to the mothers at feeding time, although the mothers could go see their children at any time. My sister happened to be in the nursery when she noticed her baby boy wasn't breathing, and shook him. He started breathing again, he also did it to her later while she had him with her for feeding. The nurse commented about, "he did it again," so my sister always wondered how much damage could have occurred if he stopped breathing another time when nobody was watching. He was a slow learner, seemed OK but didn't seem to know his own strength, was a bit of a "Paul Bunyan" (easiest way to describe him - very strong, grew fast, we had to adapt to his size and strength). My sister took a lot of convincing to get him tested - they finally agreed that he had some mild spasticity from the early oxygen deprivation but "he will grow out of it by the time he starts school". He got through school without support, but he presents as Asperger's, with no physical issues noticeable. Still dangerously strong - a hug from him feels like it's breaking my ribs. Checking things out is always worth doing. Keeping an open mind on what you've been told is also worth doing - although the child doesn't change, the diagnosis can simply because some things are tricky to diagnose and medicine is a very inexact science. And if you don't want to publicise what you find - it's your choice. You can choose to tell the school/family/friends, or not. later on the schools might want to test him - then it's under their control. But if you test him and do not sign a blanket waiver that gives the school full access to medical records but instead feed information to the school as and when you choose, you remain in control. Neonatal brain damage - yes, it's a concern, but it might not have been that bad. But if you KNOW, you can help him recover. The younger a person is when they get brain damage, the better their chances of completely compensating for it later on. But as I said, his problems could be independent of his traumatic birth. Or they could be related. The issue is - exactly what is he dealing with, and how can you help him adapt and learn to manage? Our aims as parents - to see our child grow up to reach their potential, to be happy, productive and fulfilled members of society, living independently from us. Our aim is for our children to grow up and not need us any more. Sometimes we lose sight of this! But to help a child when he is very young - it is the best start you can give him. We found with our kids that we've often had to do things very differently, to give them what they seemed to need. Sometimes their development seemed paradoxical (like learning to run before you can crawl) so to a large extent, we've been raising our kids by instinct and learning as we go. It's been challenging, exciting, stimulating and not a just little bit scary. Marg [/QUOTE]
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