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New, looking for some words of wisdom and hope
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 330262" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Yes, the structure and routine at school often produces calmer behaviour in children with autism. Observe him and see if he is developing his own routine at home - if he is, follow through and tighten it. If he isn't, then work with him to develop a good routine. If you can put in place some hih level of school-ish stimulation (such as educational computer games) you might also find his behaviour settling.</p><p></p><p>We found we needed to keep our kids stimulated academically. If you can use the high skill areas in your child as reward, you can help him develop more in the challenging areas.</p><p></p><p>Follow the "Explosuive Child" techniques and adapt them to what works for you and for him. Remember to not try to 'fix' everything all at once. Make a list, choose three things and leave the rest. Make sure others know what you are working on and what you are leaving for now. It is when people don't stick to this, that we have problems. For example, if you choose to work on his speech delay and his aggression to his little brother, forget the toilet training for now, and anything else. But make sure that what you are4 working on, he can actually control - toilet training, for example, could be difficult for him if his body is simply not recognising the sitgnals, or if he has phobia problems over using the potty. We had this problem with both boys. difficult child 1 especially went through a stage of not wantinhg to soil his nappy, but also not wanting to use the potty or toilet. It was as if at some level he felt that al he had to do was use willpower, and he would never need to excrete again. Only his grandfather could resolve the problem, we visited grandpa every week - in between there were no bowel movements at all. Grandpa had to literally bully it out of him.</p><p>It can take years for the penny to drop. difficult child 3 was definitely school-aged, I think he must have been at least 6 or 7. He must have been that old because it took that long to get him out of Pull-ups at night. I heard him getting up in the morning, heading for the toilet (he hit that door like a SWAT raid) then the sound of Niagara Falls (what is it about the male bladder capacity?) then from the othr side of the door I heard difficult child 3 exclaim with exasperation, "Every morning there's more wee!"</p><p>He really hadn't realised that excretion is a normal and ongoing bodily function. I sat him down and explained that everybody excretes. You can't simply wish it away or stop doing it. Your body makes it, you have to get rid of it to make room. It's normal.</p><p></p><p>The apparent insolence - don't react too much to it, it's often borne of anxiety or stress, if you handle it calmly and don't take it personally, he will improve by following the example iof your calm, polite behaviour. These kids imitate and copy, so give him good behaviour to copy.</p><p></p><p>Read through other posts and other threads, a lot has been written about kids like ours. Hope is there - difficult child 3 is now doing really well. He was recently interviewed on Aussie TV, I posted the link in General (it would have been about October or November 2009 if you want to go exploring). The link is of the entire story, it's about 12 minutes on autism and some treatment ideas. Ignore the stem cell stuff, it is unproven and what is described in the story sounds expensive and dangerous as well. But the interview shows difficult child 3 talking to the reporter about how it feels to be autistic. It gives a lot of hope. He has come a long way, I have no concerns for his prospects in the workplace as a functioning member of society. </p><p></p><p>Autistic kids have a lot of gifts to go wiht the problems. We raised our kids to embrace their autism as a vital part of their individuality. They have to work to "pretend to be normal" as difficult child 3 described himself at age 8 but also value their capabilities. From difficult child 3's point of view he has to work hard to concentrate on behaving appropriately in social situations but he has a rapid, encyclopedic knowledge of computers and anything electfronic and an almost freakish ability to problem-solve with anything technical, mechanical or similar. He has gone from significant language delay to have a vocabulary in the superior range.</p><p></p><p>There is more than just hope, there is joy and excitement. He is still frustrating at times and hard work at times, but his ongoing improvement is making the effort worthwhile.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 330262, member: 1991"] Yes, the structure and routine at school often produces calmer behaviour in children with autism. Observe him and see if he is developing his own routine at home - if he is, follow through and tighten it. If he isn't, then work with him to develop a good routine. If you can put in place some hih level of school-ish stimulation (such as educational computer games) you might also find his behaviour settling. We found we needed to keep our kids stimulated academically. If you can use the high skill areas in your child as reward, you can help him develop more in the challenging areas. Follow the "Explosuive Child" techniques and adapt them to what works for you and for him. Remember to not try to 'fix' everything all at once. Make a list, choose three things and leave the rest. Make sure others know what you are working on and what you are leaving for now. It is when people don't stick to this, that we have problems. For example, if you choose to work on his speech delay and his aggression to his little brother, forget the toilet training for now, and anything else. But make sure that what you are4 working on, he can actually control - toilet training, for example, could be difficult for him if his body is simply not recognising the sitgnals, or if he has phobia problems over using the potty. We had this problem with both boys. difficult child 1 especially went through a stage of not wantinhg to soil his nappy, but also not wanting to use the potty or toilet. It was as if at some level he felt that al he had to do was use willpower, and he would never need to excrete again. Only his grandfather could resolve the problem, we visited grandpa every week - in between there were no bowel movements at all. Grandpa had to literally bully it out of him. It can take years for the penny to drop. difficult child 3 was definitely school-aged, I think he must have been at least 6 or 7. He must have been that old because it took that long to get him out of Pull-ups at night. I heard him getting up in the morning, heading for the toilet (he hit that door like a SWAT raid) then the sound of Niagara Falls (what is it about the male bladder capacity?) then from the othr side of the door I heard difficult child 3 exclaim with exasperation, "Every morning there's more wee!" He really hadn't realised that excretion is a normal and ongoing bodily function. I sat him down and explained that everybody excretes. You can't simply wish it away or stop doing it. Your body makes it, you have to get rid of it to make room. It's normal. The apparent insolence - don't react too much to it, it's often borne of anxiety or stress, if you handle it calmly and don't take it personally, he will improve by following the example iof your calm, polite behaviour. These kids imitate and copy, so give him good behaviour to copy. Read through other posts and other threads, a lot has been written about kids like ours. Hope is there - difficult child 3 is now doing really well. He was recently interviewed on Aussie TV, I posted the link in General (it would have been about October or November 2009 if you want to go exploring). The link is of the entire story, it's about 12 minutes on autism and some treatment ideas. Ignore the stem cell stuff, it is unproven and what is described in the story sounds expensive and dangerous as well. But the interview shows difficult child 3 talking to the reporter about how it feels to be autistic. It gives a lot of hope. He has come a long way, I have no concerns for his prospects in the workplace as a functioning member of society. Autistic kids have a lot of gifts to go wiht the problems. We raised our kids to embrace their autism as a vital part of their individuality. They have to work to "pretend to be normal" as difficult child 3 described himself at age 8 but also value their capabilities. From difficult child 3's point of view he has to work hard to concentrate on behaving appropriately in social situations but he has a rapid, encyclopedic knowledge of computers and anything electfronic and an almost freakish ability to problem-solve with anything technical, mechanical or similar. He has gone from significant language delay to have a vocabulary in the superior range. There is more than just hope, there is joy and excitement. He is still frustrating at times and hard work at times, but his ongoing improvement is making the effort worthwhile. Marg [/QUOTE]
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