A
AprilH
Guest
OK, here goes. I am a 32 year old Mom with my Son, thank you who will be 11 in May. My daughter is 8 and has no problems whatsoever. My hubby just rejoined the Army and is in training, will not be home until May. He is my son's step dad, the only dad my son has known because his real father has not been in the picture EVER since we got divorced...that's probably a good thing for all concerned. My hubby that is in training is my daughter's father however.
I guess you could say my courting the Psychiatric care system began when my son was about two years old. Very hostile, very high strung, very hard to calm down, very active and aggressive to others. When I would take these concerns to his PCP, I always got the brush off..."oh, he's just a normal boy", "he will grow out of it" (MY ASS!), BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
Fast forward a couple years, I was arrested and investigated for child abuse by SS because I 'allowed' my daughter (who was about 2 y.o. at the time) to 'play' with her brother and he hit her with the edge of a closet door WHILE I WAS IN THE BATHROOM. Oh, I'm sorry that I can't get off the can to chase my son and put him back in the room with me while I have the SCREAMING ****S from being sick!!
That left a big goose egg on her forehead. Obviously, since I knew what had happened to her and that she was OK besides the goose egg, I did not feel that there was a need to sit in the ER for 8 hours just for that. Good times! I was finally cleared of all charges after having to hire a lawyer and go to court. I was told that because of my 'poor judgement' that was why I was charged with child abuse. My son was suspended from Kindergarten for 'attacking' his teacher. He was hospitalized at 6 y.o for again, being suspended from school and causing multiple problems in his classroom; that was when I FINALLY got someone to take me seriously about my son and his problems. He was in inpatient care for 10 days.
When we lived in Germany (his second time in 1st grade) he JUMPED OUT of his classroom window and ran down the street to the bus top! Thank God it was a window on the first floor. He said that he was 'scared' when I came to school to get him and asked him why he did that and what was wrong...he would not elaborate on what scared him; he still will not tell me and he probably has no recollection of it anyway. Since then, he has been suspended at least 1 time every year that he has been in school for his behavior, he is in 4th grade, he should be in 5th but repeated 1st grade at MY insistence.
His 1st grade teacher wanted to promote him to 2nd even though she would call me every day and tell me what problems he was having and causing...WTF?! Since the hospitalization and subsequent Psychological care/counseling, I have heard every diagnosis under the sun: Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) not otherwise specified, Aspergers, ADD/ADHD, ODD, Depressive Disorder to Schizophrenia. He has been on these medications so far that I can remember: Risperdal, Concerta, Stratera, Ritalin, Celexa...and I know there are several that I am forgetting. He is rapidly progressing to CD when it comes to his behavior.
He CAN have good days at school, he has done it before. He just chooses not to. That would be too easy for him. He is not happy unless everyone around him is miserable. He has to control and try to manipulate every situation that he can to get a favorable outcome for himself. He is argumentative, he is aggressive to other kids, he has no impulse control whatsoever, he is mouthy, has to have the last word, is VERY immature for his age (my neighbor's 3 y.o. son acts better than mine).
He is aggressive to our cats; thank God they are declawed or he would be blind! Because my son chooses to behave the way that he does, he is being ridiculed by other kids in his class because they do not understand what his deal is. I have tried everything I can discipline wise to try and curb his extreme behavior...grounding to his room, taking away all toys, no games, no t.v., etc, etc...He does not watch violent shows or play violent games; his therapist says that it will only feed his violent behavior, I agree with that.
I have a recording of him screaming at the top of his lungs that he was going to kill me with a shotgun because I took away all his toys and got him with the belt (it was a long day and I had had enough of his bull****). I have an appointment next week with his school to update his IEP which has so far not worked; he goes to a year round school. Usually when he acts up, he is removed from his class and put in the kindergarten class. There is nothing more infuriating than to try and help him with his school work (which takes about 4 hours a night to complete) and have him smirk at me and giggle like he thinks it's funny when I tell him that it's important to complete his work and get good grades...He of all people, wants to be a Police Officer when he grows up.
He is very concerned with things being fair (meaning fair for him, everyone else be damned) Last week he was suspended from school for hitting kids two days in a row and then the final straw was STANDING on his desk that got him canned. I had to go to the store and take him along with me. I bought a donut for myself and when he was told 'no' by me when he asked for one, he screamed "Not fair". He HAD NO CLUE WHEN I ASKED HIM WHY HE THOUGHT I SAID NO.
He seems to have a nonexistent short term memory, no empathy, no sympathy for anyone else, he is extremely selfish and stubborn. I tell him that if he would just worry about himself, he would have no problem, but he cannot (or will not) comprehend that concept. He does not want to put forth the effort to get anything he wants, he wants answers handed to him, he always wants to go the easy route and/or give up when he faces a challenge. That's what makes me think he has more problems that need to be identified.
He does alright in school subjects, although Math is a struggle for him, it was for me also, so that's fun when it's homework time, and I understand how he feels about Math, I was in his shoes at one time. He is very eccentric also; he collects odds and ends, pencil leads, broken rubber bands, paper clips, pencil erasers...those are his toys that I find when I clean out his room. Well, I'd better sign off for now, I have to get him from school for another psychiatric appointment this morning. I'm sorry this is so long, and I'm sure I'll think of more to post at a later date. I'm just sooooo worn down from dealing with this kid and the school system that we have here. I have no close friends to talk to, the ones that I do have are parents to 'normal' kids (really? what's considered normal nowadays?) and most of them have very young kids...I love him, but I swear sometimes he must have been switched at birth! And in the middle of all of this is his sister who is completely normal and waiting to get pushed, hit or kicked by her brother so she can beat him down in self defense again.
I can't wait until my son is 15-16 y.o and I wake up to him standing over me with a gun pointed at my face and my daughter dead also, because I have been told by ALL his Doctors and 'concerned' teachers that this behavior will escalate as he gets older and the hormones start flowing...after reading many posts in this forum from parents to teenagers that age and their behaviors, I am convinced that is what is in store for me. When I sit him down and ask him what is wrong, and that I cannot read his mind, that I need him to help me help him, he will either 'shut down' and sit and stare off into space,he will smile sweetly and tell me that nothing is wrong, that he is fine and happy...he has NEVER initiated hugs or kisses with me, I ALWAYS have to do these things first.
Mom of a 10 y.o diagnosis'd with ODD/ADD/Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED)/Depressive Disorder at age 5, currently taking Seroquel (50mg), Prozac (25mg) and Vyvanse (25mg)...THESE medications ARE NOT WORKING!!!! an 8 y.o. daughter who is completely normal, loves her brother, but is very good at ignoring him and handing out beat downs when I cannot get there fast enough to break it up, a wonderful husband that I have been battling my son's demons with for 9 years, two cats, 'Big Fuzz' and 'Abbey' who probably only have about one life left thanks to my son, and a Lab named 'Maya' who is my son's best friend and fellow demon beater.
GOD, IF YOU ARE LISTENING, YOU HAVE A SICK SENSE OF HUMOR!!!
I guess you could say my courting the Psychiatric care system began when my son was about two years old. Very hostile, very high strung, very hard to calm down, very active and aggressive to others. When I would take these concerns to his PCP, I always got the brush off..."oh, he's just a normal boy", "he will grow out of it" (MY ASS!), BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
Fast forward a couple years, I was arrested and investigated for child abuse by SS because I 'allowed' my daughter (who was about 2 y.o. at the time) to 'play' with her brother and he hit her with the edge of a closet door WHILE I WAS IN THE BATHROOM. Oh, I'm sorry that I can't get off the can to chase my son and put him back in the room with me while I have the SCREAMING ****S from being sick!!
That left a big goose egg on her forehead. Obviously, since I knew what had happened to her and that she was OK besides the goose egg, I did not feel that there was a need to sit in the ER for 8 hours just for that. Good times! I was finally cleared of all charges after having to hire a lawyer and go to court. I was told that because of my 'poor judgement' that was why I was charged with child abuse. My son was suspended from Kindergarten for 'attacking' his teacher. He was hospitalized at 6 y.o for again, being suspended from school and causing multiple problems in his classroom; that was when I FINALLY got someone to take me seriously about my son and his problems. He was in inpatient care for 10 days.
When we lived in Germany (his second time in 1st grade) he JUMPED OUT of his classroom window and ran down the street to the bus top! Thank God it was a window on the first floor. He said that he was 'scared' when I came to school to get him and asked him why he did that and what was wrong...he would not elaborate on what scared him; he still will not tell me and he probably has no recollection of it anyway. Since then, he has been suspended at least 1 time every year that he has been in school for his behavior, he is in 4th grade, he should be in 5th but repeated 1st grade at MY insistence.
His 1st grade teacher wanted to promote him to 2nd even though she would call me every day and tell me what problems he was having and causing...WTF?! Since the hospitalization and subsequent Psychological care/counseling, I have heard every diagnosis under the sun: Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) not otherwise specified, Aspergers, ADD/ADHD, ODD, Depressive Disorder to Schizophrenia. He has been on these medications so far that I can remember: Risperdal, Concerta, Stratera, Ritalin, Celexa...and I know there are several that I am forgetting. He is rapidly progressing to CD when it comes to his behavior.
He CAN have good days at school, he has done it before. He just chooses not to. That would be too easy for him. He is not happy unless everyone around him is miserable. He has to control and try to manipulate every situation that he can to get a favorable outcome for himself. He is argumentative, he is aggressive to other kids, he has no impulse control whatsoever, he is mouthy, has to have the last word, is VERY immature for his age (my neighbor's 3 y.o. son acts better than mine).
He is aggressive to our cats; thank God they are declawed or he would be blind! Because my son chooses to behave the way that he does, he is being ridiculed by other kids in his class because they do not understand what his deal is. I have tried everything I can discipline wise to try and curb his extreme behavior...grounding to his room, taking away all toys, no games, no t.v., etc, etc...He does not watch violent shows or play violent games; his therapist says that it will only feed his violent behavior, I agree with that.
I have a recording of him screaming at the top of his lungs that he was going to kill me with a shotgun because I took away all his toys and got him with the belt (it was a long day and I had had enough of his bull****). I have an appointment next week with his school to update his IEP which has so far not worked; he goes to a year round school. Usually when he acts up, he is removed from his class and put in the kindergarten class. There is nothing more infuriating than to try and help him with his school work (which takes about 4 hours a night to complete) and have him smirk at me and giggle like he thinks it's funny when I tell him that it's important to complete his work and get good grades...He of all people, wants to be a Police Officer when he grows up.
He is very concerned with things being fair (meaning fair for him, everyone else be damned) Last week he was suspended from school for hitting kids two days in a row and then the final straw was STANDING on his desk that got him canned. I had to go to the store and take him along with me. I bought a donut for myself and when he was told 'no' by me when he asked for one, he screamed "Not fair". He HAD NO CLUE WHEN I ASKED HIM WHY HE THOUGHT I SAID NO.
He seems to have a nonexistent short term memory, no empathy, no sympathy for anyone else, he is extremely selfish and stubborn. I tell him that if he would just worry about himself, he would have no problem, but he cannot (or will not) comprehend that concept. He does not want to put forth the effort to get anything he wants, he wants answers handed to him, he always wants to go the easy route and/or give up when he faces a challenge. That's what makes me think he has more problems that need to be identified.
He does alright in school subjects, although Math is a struggle for him, it was for me also, so that's fun when it's homework time, and I understand how he feels about Math, I was in his shoes at one time. He is very eccentric also; he collects odds and ends, pencil leads, broken rubber bands, paper clips, pencil erasers...those are his toys that I find when I clean out his room. Well, I'd better sign off for now, I have to get him from school for another psychiatric appointment this morning. I'm sorry this is so long, and I'm sure I'll think of more to post at a later date. I'm just sooooo worn down from dealing with this kid and the school system that we have here. I have no close friends to talk to, the ones that I do have are parents to 'normal' kids (really? what's considered normal nowadays?) and most of them have very young kids...I love him, but I swear sometimes he must have been switched at birth! And in the middle of all of this is his sister who is completely normal and waiting to get pushed, hit or kicked by her brother so she can beat him down in self defense again.
I can't wait until my son is 15-16 y.o and I wake up to him standing over me with a gun pointed at my face and my daughter dead also, because I have been told by ALL his Doctors and 'concerned' teachers that this behavior will escalate as he gets older and the hormones start flowing...after reading many posts in this forum from parents to teenagers that age and their behaviors, I am convinced that is what is in store for me. When I sit him down and ask him what is wrong, and that I cannot read his mind, that I need him to help me help him, he will either 'shut down' and sit and stare off into space,he will smile sweetly and tell me that nothing is wrong, that he is fine and happy...he has NEVER initiated hugs or kisses with me, I ALWAYS have to do these things first.
Mom of a 10 y.o diagnosis'd with ODD/ADD/Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED)/Depressive Disorder at age 5, currently taking Seroquel (50mg), Prozac (25mg) and Vyvanse (25mg)...THESE medications ARE NOT WORKING!!!! an 8 y.o. daughter who is completely normal, loves her brother, but is very good at ignoring him and handing out beat downs when I cannot get there fast enough to break it up, a wonderful husband that I have been battling my son's demons with for 9 years, two cats, 'Big Fuzz' and 'Abbey' who probably only have about one life left thanks to my son, and a Lab named 'Maya' who is my son's best friend and fellow demon beater.
GOD, IF YOU ARE LISTENING, YOU HAVE A SICK SENSE OF HUMOR!!!