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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 471293" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Welcome Shayden! I am glad you found this board. As you read thu old posts you will see there are many many of us out there, you are not in a small club. It is a huge shift in thinking to switch to the way that you are probably going to have to parent your child. Lots of us on this board were either parents of kids who needed typical parenting or are teachers/daycare providers/ therapists/ etc....who thought we had a good handle on how to help kids and then reality hit! I second getting The Explosive Child. In addition to great idea and a way to frame what is going on....it gave me permission to actually feel good about picking and choosing some battles and letting others go (for now) even when others around me thought I was letting him get away with murder. To this day when things slip out of control for a while I go back to the principles of just picking the biggest, most critical behavior (s) and only really working on those so that overall anxiety and struggle in our family can go down. when I nag and work on every single behavior, it can be too much for my difficult child. He needs his brain in a calmer place to be able to work on big things. </p><p></p><p>I agree with others that it would be helpful to know more...overall development/social skills/etc. What do you mean by attachment issues, is she clingy or doesn't want to be with you? Is she adopted or does she have any medical history that interrupted your bonding. Or is this just how it all feels because of what is going on with her behavior? Not criticizing or anything, just throwing out ideas/questions that many of us may relate to and then we can share our journeys with you better. </p><p></p><p>I'm glad you are here and will be great getting to know you and your precious difficult child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 471293, member: 12886"] Welcome Shayden! I am glad you found this board. As you read thu old posts you will see there are many many of us out there, you are not in a small club. It is a huge shift in thinking to switch to the way that you are probably going to have to parent your child. Lots of us on this board were either parents of kids who needed typical parenting or are teachers/daycare providers/ therapists/ etc....who thought we had a good handle on how to help kids and then reality hit! I second getting The Explosive Child. In addition to great idea and a way to frame what is going on....it gave me permission to actually feel good about picking and choosing some battles and letting others go (for now) even when others around me thought I was letting him get away with murder. To this day when things slip out of control for a while I go back to the principles of just picking the biggest, most critical behavior (s) and only really working on those so that overall anxiety and struggle in our family can go down. when I nag and work on every single behavior, it can be too much for my difficult child. He needs his brain in a calmer place to be able to work on big things. I agree with others that it would be helpful to know more...overall development/social skills/etc. What do you mean by attachment issues, is she clingy or doesn't want to be with you? Is she adopted or does she have any medical history that interrupted your bonding. Or is this just how it all feels because of what is going on with her behavior? Not criticizing or anything, just throwing out ideas/questions that many of us may relate to and then we can share our journeys with you better. I'm glad you are here and will be great getting to know you and your precious difficult child. [/QUOTE]
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