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General Parenting
(New Member) This child is going to ruin our family.
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<blockquote data-quote="Stella" data-source="post: 265169" data-attributes="member: 6837"><p>Hi there. Just wanted to welcome you to the board. You have found a wonderful, supportive place where you will learn a lot. It's admirable that you are seeking help and you sound like a great sister.</p><p> </p><p>Firstly, I know one of the first things that others on here will say to you that a diagnosis of "ODD traits" is not very helpful as ODD rarely stands alone and is normally a symptom of the bigger diagnosis. Your sister is on anti-depressants - has she ever been diagnosed with bi-polar or has it been suggested? I know you say your sister can seem "evil" and "cruel" but the fact that the anti-depressants work so well for her prove that she probably does have a chemical imbalance so it's really not her fault that she behaves this way. I know it is hard to keep this in mind all the time, especially when she is being particularlly nasty but do try keep this in mind <em>- all children do well if they can. </em>This is a key point in the book The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene. It is an excellent book that probably the majority of people on this board have read and found extremely beneficial. Also, there are plenty of mothers on here who have kids with bi-polar that can recommend other books...</p><p> </p><p>It struck me that before the medications you describe your sister as being very "possessive" when ever you or your parents left the house but once she started the medications she was able to express the fact that she would "miss" you. So, it would seem that she defintely had a very hard time expressing her emotions. This was very frustrating for her and she only seemed to express her emotions through anger. Maybe now and again, when she does still act out it's because those frustrations are creeping back in. When she feels frustrated she feels out of control - that's when the trying to control your mom etc creeps in. There is a great book called The Manipulative Child -I can't remember author off-hand but your mom might find that a good read. It's not that she wants to be manipulative but she has learned to be this way to maintain her control.</p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">She is very dependent upon her anti-depressants. If she ever misses taking them one night, we all suffer the day afterwards.</span></p><p></p><p>When does your sister miss taking her anti-depressants. Does someone supervise her taking her medications every night? I honestly think that if the medications are working so well for her that you shouldn't worry at the moment about her being dependent on them. She obviously needs them. I think that if your sister can be this sweet, loving and thoughtful child with the medications then this is her true personality. SHe just needs a little help to balance her out. in my opinion you are very lucky that you have found something that works this well for her.</p><p> </p><p>Welcome again, and i'm glad that you have found us.</p><p> </p><p>Stella.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Stella, post: 265169, member: 6837"] Hi there. Just wanted to welcome you to the board. You have found a wonderful, supportive place where you will learn a lot. It's admirable that you are seeking help and you sound like a great sister. Firstly, I know one of the first things that others on here will say to you that a diagnosis of "ODD traits" is not very helpful as ODD rarely stands alone and is normally a symptom of the bigger diagnosis. Your sister is on anti-depressants - has she ever been diagnosed with bi-polar or has it been suggested? I know you say your sister can seem "evil" and "cruel" but the fact that the anti-depressants work so well for her prove that she probably does have a chemical imbalance so it's really not her fault that she behaves this way. I know it is hard to keep this in mind all the time, especially when she is being particularlly nasty but do try keep this in mind [I]- all children do well if they can. [/I]This is a key point in the book The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene. It is an excellent book that probably the majority of people on this board have read and found extremely beneficial. Also, there are plenty of mothers on here who have kids with bi-polar that can recommend other books... It struck me that before the medications you describe your sister as being very "possessive" when ever you or your parents left the house but once she started the medications she was able to express the fact that she would "miss" you. So, it would seem that she defintely had a very hard time expressing her emotions. This was very frustrating for her and she only seemed to express her emotions through anger. Maybe now and again, when she does still act out it's because those frustrations are creeping back in. When she feels frustrated she feels out of control - that's when the trying to control your mom etc creeps in. There is a great book called The Manipulative Child -I can't remember author off-hand but your mom might find that a good read. It's not that she wants to be manipulative but she has learned to be this way to maintain her control. [SIZE=3]She is very dependent upon her anti-depressants. If she ever misses taking them one night, we all suffer the day afterwards.[/SIZE] When does your sister miss taking her anti-depressants. Does someone supervise her taking her medications every night? I honestly think that if the medications are working so well for her that you shouldn't worry at the moment about her being dependent on them. She obviously needs them. I think that if your sister can be this sweet, loving and thoughtful child with the medications then this is her true personality. SHe just needs a little help to balance her out. in my opinion you are very lucky that you have found something that works this well for her. Welcome again, and i'm glad that you have found us. Stella. [/QUOTE]
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